True Self
by shortslover911
Summary: The sequel to "God's Love." Kari awakens home, without memories of Oni or the adventures she was on. Being told she was sick and out the whole time, Kari resumes life as it was. However, when she finds a strange man in the flower fields, memories stir.
1. TS1: The Finding

Author Notes: The sequel to **God's Love**. You'll see why it's called True Self eventually but... Sorry, the first chapter isn't so funny. In fact, I don't know how funny I can get this series to be, but i'll try hard to keep you guys happy. However, there is a more important plot in this one, than before.

* * *

"I can't believe it! Kari's back...! Yes, yes! I know, the giants have slain the Fierce Deity, I've heard... Amazing!"

"Yes, I know! We have been saved! I'm going to the church later to thank the giants... Kari is sa-!"

"Hush you two! We're not supposed to talk about that!"

Once again, going back a few weeks ago, the town had been shaken from brick to brick. Finding the un-sacrificed sacrifice on her home's doorstep, Kari's grandmother almost suffered from a heart attack at the sight. Immediately, bring Hanz over to the house, they were delighted to find the girl completely unharmed, although one thing was missing from the girl's being.

"Kari, how did you survive?" Hanz asked, a happy tone fluttering in his voice as he rubbed his eyes twenty times in a row. _I don't believe it, she's alive! _A pure blissful feeling claimed his body.

"Survive what? Was I sick or something?" Kari cocked her head, and this made Hanz and the grandmother exchanged glances in awe.

"You don't remember? Nothing at all, dearie?" Her grandmother questioned, was her grand-daughter perhaps spared of the terrible memories...? "You had be-"

"You caught a nasty illness; no one knew what it was!" Hanz blurted out, he didn't want the memories to come back. "You had dropped into some sort of coma for a few months..." He looked toward the elder who had a frown on her face, but nodded for him to continue. "We were all very worried... but you're awake now, everything's fine. I won't let anything happen to you again...! I swear it...!"

"... I was that sick...? Weird, I feel completely fine now!" Kari grinned and folded her arms. "How did I break my leg though? It hurts pretty badly at the moment..."

"Uhh... Flowers! You were working in the fields, and tripped on their roots! It happened a few weeks ago... So your leg should heal pretty fast, don't worry a thing about it! Grandma Beck, I'm going to go tell everyone, be back in a b-"

"Hold your fish lines Hanz!" Grandma Beck laughed. "Tell them in the morning, we should all get some good rest... Hanz, be a dear and shut the door behind you, I'll tuck Kari in and we'll be going to sleep."

"Sleep? I am kinda tired..." Kari yawned and followed her grandma. "Night Hanz, see you tomorrow..!"

"... Yeah..." Hanz nodded, wanting to pinch himself. "I'll see you tomorrow; we can go fishing or something!" Excitement swelled in his body. He had lost someone to the Fierce Deity before, but this time, he got his friend back.

That night her bed felt softer than she had ever remembered before. Somehow, it almost felt as if she had been sleeping on the ground the last few months... Rolling over to face the window, she examined the star blanket in the sky. _Maybe when I was sick, my body got so stuck in a bad position from the bed, that it feels nice now that I've moved a bit...? I guess I was really sick... Hanz and grandma were acting eccentrically. Oh well, I feel great now! I guess I'll work tomorrow... Hanz will probably tell me otherwise, I'd better start... thinking of... an... argument..._

"Morning grandma!" The next day came swiftly, but Kari felt refreshed as if she had soaked in a hot spring for years. "What do you want for breakfast?" Tying a white apron around the new green peasant dress, Kari stepped into the kitchen and began sorting out different cooking utensils. "Let's have a big breakfast! That way, we can work our hardest today!"

"Anything's fine dear... I'm going to sleep a little longer, don't worry about me..." A cough came from the other room, and Kari straightened her body out, tying up her hair with a jade ribbon.

"Grandma, are you ok?" A concerned look appeared on her face as she sat down on the bedside, her grandmother had a red face, and, when she felt it, was getting warm. "You're getting a fever..."

"I've had worse... just make yourself some food... Really, dearie, I'm fine. I didn't raise you to be a worrywart..." A comforting smile only convinced her slightly, but she didn't push the issue.

"I hope I didn't give you what I got, but ok... If you need anything just holler," Kari suggested but the older woman made a stubborn 'hmph' before falling asleep quietly. "..." Kari settled for a pancake, eggs, and two slices of bacon before heading out the door, shutting it quietly behind her. Basket in hand, she began walking down the road, heading to her favorite patch where the flowers grew the most vividly. Just as expected, Hanz joined her about 1/3 of the way there. "Hey Hanz, what should we do today, after I finish working?"

"You're going to work...? But Kar-"

"I wanna help the shop. If I've been sick so long, I need to work twice as hard to catch up... Besides... I'm not working the whole day, I need to get back home and keep an eye on grandma..."

"What's wrong?"

"She's sick... Is it possible she got what I had...? It's all my fault..." Kari sighed, but then bent down to the flowers.

"Y-yeah right, Kari! People get sick all the time, and when you got sick, it just suddenly er... happened! You first have these bumps..." Hanz made up at fast as he could. "And passed out! She probably has a minor cold, it just looks worse because it takes worse effect on elders... No worries, ok?" He sat down next to the river that came close to the medium-sized field of greenery. Assembling a fishing pole, he looked back at her as he stuck some tackle on it. "Hey, the late summer festival is coming up; we should save up money for that."

"Going as friends again?" She beamed and Hanz stuck out her tongue. "You should try to find a date, I dislike festivals..."

"But it's more fun to go with friends!" Hanz protested. "Besides, girls just don't like me. Guess they can't handle the tough guys...?" He smiled and they both laughed.

"I bet someone would go with you, Hanz, you're just so shy around girls! Well, not me but that's different, isn't it? You used to be!" Kari commented about when they had just met at age three.

"But you were a tomboy and it grew easy to talk..." Hanz dug the pole into the ground and rested his head on his hands, leaning back. "Tips?"

"Well, you've got pretty green eyes, so you should brush your hair to show them a bit more," Kari began, secretly laughing. "Also, try smiling more, you're not missing any teeth and so your smile is cute."

"Cute? I don't wanna look like a puppy..."

"Hahahah, don't worr-" She froze up as her hand touched something fleshy. Had she been paying attention, she would've noticed what was in front of her, sooner.

"Kari? Hey, what's up?" His voice seemed so far away as she examined the sight of a boy sprawled out in the flowers. With a blank yet serene face, he seemed unconscious but with the way his blonde hair grew, she couldn't tell if his eyes were open or not. Dressed like a peasant, he wore a white short-sleeved shirt of which the collar was embroidered with a dull yellow design; on the right side, there was a green sewn add on sleeve that that fell just below his elbow. With tan leather pants that tied at the bottom, a center blue "belt" of some sort held the pants up. Wearing fine crafted flip-flop sandals for shoes, one might have mistaken him for a bunch of loose material, or a poorly made rug at first sight. The only thing that seemed to cost money, were two silver hoop ear rings, one per ear. "What the...? Is that a person!?" Hanz rushed over, kneeling beside the young man.

"He's... unconscious... I think..." _Who... _An image flashed in her mind, but was too quick for her to examine closely. All she knew was that it had been a face. "Do I... know him...?"

"No way," Hanz shook his head. "I've never seen him around here, so we couldn't possibly know him... Well, he passed out from exhaustion, probably lack of food and water as well..."

"Let's bring him to my house," Kari declared as she stood up.

"W-What? But what if he-"

"Then we'll deal with that later, for now, help me carry him home," Kari firmly stared at Hanz who sighed, but agreed. With Hanz acting like a crutch, Kari gathered up the fishing pole, tackle box, and basket before also lending a shoulder. Taking a lot longer to get back home than it normally would take, the two crashed to the ground when they arrived inside. "Geez! He was heavy! But looks so light!"

"Argh...! Tired...! Phwoo!" Hanz had his hands on his knees, panting, but moved the stuff aside. With one last bit of effort, they moved the young man onto the couch and then sat on the floor, exhausted. "He weighed a ton! More than Farmer McNealy's fastest cow!"

"Definitely..." Kari exhaled noisily before struggling to her feet, and checking over the boy. "He doesn't seem hurt, Hanz; can you get me a wet rag while I get out some food and water?" Hanz disappeared form sight, heading to the back closet where towels and rags were kept. _What's something good for one's stomach after they've nearly starved...?_ Choosing a bowl of white rice and a glass of chilled water, Kari set them down on the table and took the rag from Hanz, setting it on the stranger's forehead.

ONE HOUR LATER

"Kari, I hate to leave you with him, but I have to go catch a decent bucket of fish, otherwise my dad is gonna scold me... I'll come check up later, bye." Hanz exited the door, closing it quietly behind himself. Kari watched this, but then sat down on an armchair with a deep sigh. Growing sleepy with every second, she felt her eyes shutting without her approval... _CHER... _The sound of furniture flattening startled her to a point where she leapt from the seat.

"..." The boy was sitting up, leaning forward, with his arms propped on his legs, supporting himself. His eyes were open, revealing a beast's frosted gaze, but they seemed un-concentrated, as if he wasn't using them, at first.

"Um... Hello...?" Kari tried not to surprise him, but it seemed as if he hadn't even heard her. "Excuse me, are you ok...?"

"_Gah runetes vastier kadone..._" A different language escaped his lips, but the words sounded familiar, and Kari could sort of make them out. To her, it was like he said "Beginning to End."

"Hey, can you hear me?" When she placed a hand on his shoulder, he shuddered violently, suddenly becoming aware of everything around him. "Can you understand me? Are you ok?"

"..." He gazed at her emptily, absorbed into understanding her words. "Y... Yes. Speaking... Terminan...?"

"Right," She nodded. "You passed out from exhaustion... Uh... You should eat, and drink, it's more important than talking at the moment. Here." Showing him the food, he hesitated before gradually eating. "What's your name?"

"..." He paused, browsing his mind. "... I am..." He set down the bowl of rice, and looked at her, and the image flicked in her mind again. "I am Link."


	2. TS2: Green Light

"Could you get tha...? Thanks!" It had been three weeks. Four weeks since Kari had been found, three weeks since Kari and Hanz found the young man named Link, and yet the time seemed to pass by so quickly, yet it was time not wasted. Today Kari made the usual trip to the marketplace, collecting the typical groceries and also just browsing shops in case she wanted to save money for anything. "Are you sure you can handle all that, Link...??" Kari stared in awe at the boy's endurance. At the moment, he was carrying two slabs of tofu, a bucket of radishes, a bucket of mixed vegetables, as well as a few other heavy things. "I could carry so-"

"N-No, I'm fine...!" Link flashed a pleasant smile. "This doesn't seem all that heavy to me, don't worry. I want to help ya as much as I can."

"Really? I feel weird walking without anything though... It's not like I'm your master, Link."

"But you saved me from the brink of starvation, I need to show my thanks," Link shook his head gratefully. "I'm quite fine with this, honest." Acting jovially, Kari exhaled noisily, accepting the fact he wouldn't listen anyway. _He only joined us three weeks ago... but he acts as if he's known these people his whole life... but..._

"Hey Link, what did you say you were here in Termina Central Town for?" As he began talking, she almost had the words memorized in her mind from the many times she asked:

"I can't remember exactly, but... I was just traveling, like I said before," Link answered, a very truthful tone in his voice. "But..." _Huh? But what? This is new... _"I feel like... Well, I've been having strange dreams at night... I keep seeing this scene of a wide open field of green grass... The land steadily elevates to a promontory... And on that cliff, I see this weird sword and try to pick it up. Yet, as I reach for it, I can never seem to grab it, and I always wake up... The dream kind of makes me feel like I'm searching for something... Maybe I, searching for my lost self of who I used to be or... Ah, just forget it, it feels strange to talk about... Hu...!" Link exercised his shoulders, adjusting to the new weight.

"Are you sure...?" Kari stopped her pace, examining the incredible amount of things he was transporting.

"Agh! Positive!" He closed his eyes and passed by her. "You have a broken leg anyway, you shouldn't even be walking."

"Hmph," Kari taunted him with her tongue and he raised an eyebrow. "I'm a trooper, I don't need rest. I feel very fine, thank-you." Folding her arms with a scowl on her face, she heard his footsteps and opened her eyes.

"Trooper, huh?" He gently nudged her with a fist, a sort of push on her cheek. "How didja get it anyway?" He began walking once again. _What the...? _She felt the same mysterious image faintly tickle her mind before vanishing once more. _Why did that seem... familiar...? _She traced her hand along her jawbone and brushed against her cheek he had touched. "Uh...?"

"O-OH! Sorry! Come on!"

"You still didn't answer me," Link waited for her to catch up to begin his long steady stride once more. "I asked: how did you get your leg so beat up?

"Oh... I tripped on some flowers and then-"

"Oh yeah, demon flowers, gotta watch out for those suckers," Link teased her with a staid look, yet his playful smile got the best of him when her jaw dropped.

"W-What!? I-I don't know! That's what Hanz told me!" She defended herself vigorously. "At least I didn't pass out in a field of flowers, flower boy!"

"F-Flower boy!? I didn't attend a wedding! And I most certainly did not throw around any flowers!.. Unlike some flower pickers, huh, flower girl?"

"Pfft! Yeah right, ya dumb blonde!"

"Huh...? Ouch, Kari, ouch," Link placed a free hand on his heart before opening one eye, winking. "I'll have you know, my hair is a very light brown."

"Right, blonde," Kari smirked triumphantly as they began the walk back home. "Grandma! We're home!.. Hello?" The house, eerily silent, brought an uncomfortable feeling over Kari who helped Link set down the grocery bags. _Silence...? _Link thought as his eyes took in the room, and followed the walls to the grandmother's room. _I don't sense death but... there's definitely weakness, someone pretty close. _Instinctively, he followed Kari's to the grandmother's room and gasped. "W-What is this!?" Kari screeched at the sight of dark purple marks on her grandmother. In some sort of trance, Grandma Beck was most certainly alive, but something was eating away at her strength. "G-Grandma!! Link! I have to go get Hanz, he's pretty good with diseases, please stay here with her...!" Kari dashed out the door and Link clenched his teeth.

"Shouldn't I get Hanz and you stay...?" Link walked over to the bedside, and touched the woman's hand but instantly yanked his fingers away; her skin was scorching! _What...? What is this...? A curse...? Why does it... seem so... familiar...? _Tugging a chair over to the bedside, using one arm, he sat down and put both his hands on hers. His skin was burning; it was so hot it felt like a cold slab of ice was being beat against his hand yet he kept his hands on her own and closed his eyes. "_Aranacht..._" _W-What am I...!? _"_Sebere... Hol matabe..._" _It's my voice...! What am I saying!? _"_Zanryu..._"

"What the...?" Hanz and Kari's voices came from behind as they watched, stunned. A green light emitted from Link's hands, but yet time seemed slower than usual.

"_Koleth... deslas... Life,_" The incantation ended, and as soon as Link spoke the word Life, the eyes of the old woman opened and the purple marks had faded. However, when her eyes opened, Link felt his strength flow into her body, and his head slumped in the chair, unconscious.

"L-Link!"

(Later on...)

"..." Light slowly entered his eyes and his pupils adjusted as he opened them. He felt a wet rag on his forehead, and the damp chill felt harmonious after what had happened. Although he had spoken, he hadn't understood the words himself. _Some foreign language it sounded like... had to be a spell..._

"Kari, we don't know if we can trust him... Think about it...! HE could be using this house as a place to stay!" Hanz argued in the living room, Link silently listened as he sat up. "What if he ends up hurting you of Grandma Beck? What if that curse was laid b-"

"Hanz! I'm disappointed in you! If he laid the curse, why would he remove it? He saved Grandma Beck!" Kari kept a strong tone, not even the slightest hint of giving in. "Surely, you felt it, you saw the lights from his hands... he doesn't even remember how he exactly got here! Maybe he was some doctor from a distant land or..."

"Or a dark magician!" Hanz snorted. "He could be deceiving you Kari...! We shouldn't just let some stranger parade in here!"

"Grrr...! He helped me with the groceries, too! He carried them all since I had a broken leg, and what about you? What have you do-"

"Kari, that's enough..." Link shuffled to the doorway. "Hanz is just being cautious, and he's smart for doing so... I'm sorry, I've stayed long enough... Oh... I'm sorry, I must impose once more... Do you have a spare change of clothes? I'll leave once I have some..."

"Grrr..." Kari glared at Hanz who bit his lip and looked away. "Sure, hold on." Grumbling something else that was inaudible, she stormed off into a spare room leaving Hanz and Link alone in the living room.

"I'm... sorry..." Hanz rubbed his neck.

"Don't be. At this point, I'm starting to be afraid of myself," Link held up his hands. "Not even knowing what I said... or did... but..."

"Here Link..." Kari sighed, handing him a jade tunic, white 'leggings', a milk colored shirt, and finally a pair of brown boots. "They belonged to my brother, so they'll probably fit you, I think."

"Thank-you," Link smiled, cheerfully. _I don't want... _Shutting the door behind him as he got undressed. Holding the tunic in his hands, he exhaled noisily. _I don't want such people to get hurt... so..._

"See ya Hanz." He heard last minute conversation and the front door close softly. "Hu... Sorry about that," Kari spoke, probably near the door. "He's really protective of my family and..."

"No, it's alright." Link responded, slipping the tunic over his head before continuing, "He's a nice guy. I hate to have a couple fi-"

"C-Couple!? N-No way!" He almost smiled from the reaction. "He's like a brother; we're friends, close friends, but nothing more! EW... It'd be like dating your brother..." _Poor guy, he doesn't have a chance. _"You don't have to go, you know. This is my grandma's house, and even she wants you to stay. I talked to her while you were out..."

"Kari, I think I should go."

"What...? Why...?"

"The magic I used... I don't know it myself... Sure it seemed to heal her but... I just don't feel comfortable being around people, what if I end up being some dark magician, like Hanz says..."

"Then you'll be a dark magician who saved my grandma... She's... She's like a mother to me..." While Kari talked, Link walked out of the room dressed in the new attire. "So... Thanks." When she bowed, Link felt his face fluster:

"C-Come on, I don't like bowing, too formal," Link passed by. "It's just about seven... Man, the night always comes by so fast."

"You did pass out for a few hours but... Anyway let's go outside, it's stuffy and hot in here..." Just like that, the two sauntered outside and sat down in the flower fields, examining stars appear one by one in the sky. "It's always cooler outside, so it feels nice... You know, we have one thing in common."

"Huh? What's that?"

"We can't remember anything past a few months ago," Kari folded her arms. "Hanz said I was terribly sick and was suffering from comatose for awhile but... it just doesn't seem like it... That's probably weird to say, sense I never experienced being in a coma before, huh?"

"No..." Link shook his head, and then leaned back, resting his head on his bandaged hands. "They say people can sense things from a sixth sense, as if its instinct. Your body and mind would know if you were in a coma, you'd probably sleep a lot or something." He closed his eyes. "..."

"What's up?"

"It's nothing..." Link sighed. _How come... when I close my eyes... I can still see the dream... the cliff... that weird sword... _"What do you normally see when you close your eyes?"

"Huh? Black... darkness...?" Kari cocked her head, unsure of the question. _Sometimes a face will flash into mind but... _She held her tongue at that. "I hate when it's muggy in the summer... What weather do you like the best?"

"Sun or rain, I don't care... but I hate slipping on wet dirt..."

"Really? I can see you doing that!" She grinned. _Déjà vu...? This seems familiar... _Pale skin. Red "slash" cheek marks. _Ah! That image again, at least I got a better view of it this time... Maybe it was a painting I've seen before...? __**Durncing King...? **__What the h3ll is that? _"Ha... Haha! Hahahahaha!" As she burst in laughter, Link gave her a stare of confusion, one eyebrow raised. "I-I'm sorry! Just... remembering something...?"

* * *

Author Notes: I kinda forgot what I was gonna write with this chapter so if it seems boring... Anyway... She's slow remembering... yay...

Oni- Pretty pwease can I come back?

Author- We shall see... Also, don't forget to check out the bloopers chapter of God's Love, I posted it a few days ago but... Also, Oni, I forgot the disclaimer, could you...?

Oni- -sigh- fine... Shortslover911 does NOT own the legend of zelda or any of its characters... You can own me if you want though... -that smile-

Author- K-Kari! Where'd did you put the shotgun!?


	3. BONUS CHAPTER

Author- This chapter isn't actually about the story, more about its characters...

Disclaimer: This idea was inspired by reading this one funny thing about harvest moon by Lone Kunoichi, SO GO READ HERS! Also, I do not own the Legend of Zelda, any of its characters, or the 'plot' of this chapter. Please enjoy, it's supposed to be funny!

* * *

Author- Alright! Let's begin by first interviewing Oni, one of your favorite funny characters in the series!

Oni- Favorite? Well, of course, what'd you expect, for them to like Majora the most? Ha!

Author- I see you are very conceited.

Oni- If that means a womanizer, I'd have to say yes, author lady. –grins-

Author- ... Why do you call me that? And you know, you're very hard to make fun of.

Oni- Really? Kari and Majora can do it just fine... Maybe you suck at making fun of people.

Author- Ugh! WHAT!? You..! You...! Well, you're a girl who is in love with Majora!

Oni- What!? N-Not true!

Author- Ah-ha! Oni... is secretly a girl...

Oni- Am not!

Author- Oni... is secretly in love with majora...

Oni- NO WAY! –face puffing with red anger-

Author- Oni... is a closest gay...

Oni- A-Am not! I understand closest pervert but...

Author- Wait what!? So that weird noise I heard from my closest when I was changing...

Oni- Uh... Gotta run! –poof-

Author- Son of a-

Kari- We interrupt this cursing to bring you... Brainy-O's! The cereal that makes you smart! Actually, it makes you dumber... Maybe that's why Oni is so brainless...

(back to interviewing...)

Author- Majora's turn... How do you do Majora?

Majora- Fine. Weather's bad, but I'm ok.

Author- As I know, you're currently trying to take over the world?

Majora- Ah, yes, world domination.

Author- ... Can I have a cookie?

Majora- What? Why the h3ll would I have a cookie?

Author- Cuz' you cook a lot.

Majora- W-Wait a minute, you promised you would never tell!! –runs off crying-

Author- ... He didn't give me a cookie, bstard. –scowls-

(Next!)

Author- now... The main heroine of the series, who happens to pack a hurtful punch... Kari! How are ya Kari?

Kari- Good, having to put up with Oni's crap, but I'm ok. –shrugs-

Author- I understand the pain –cries for a moment- Anyway, in almost every chapter of God's Love, I notice you are sexually Harassed by Oni... –puts on glasses and brings out a clipboard- Just how does that make you feel?

Kari- Like I want to shoot Oni with a sentinel rocket launcher.

Author- Uh huh... I also understand that you are in a deep passionate relationship with Hanz-

Kari- What!? Am not! He's like a brother!!

Author- Ah, young love, so indecisive...

Kari- Grrr...! Yeah, well you're secretly dating girly boy Majora!

Author- ugh! Am not! At least he didn't try raping me!

Kari- What!? I kicked his ass!

Author- Yeah right, Oni saved you! Wanna fight!? –throws up fists- Come on, just try it!

Kari- Oh yeah!?

Author- Yeah!!

...

Kari/Author- -start flailing hands in front of them, up and down.-

Author- Ow! You hit my finger... –sucks on finger-

Kari- Huh? Oh, let me go get ice, I'm sorry...

Oni- So that's a cat fight... Kinda boring but I guess it could be defined as 'cute.'

Majora- Oni... You're an idiot.

(Next!)

Author- Ah! Now I introduce a special star... Used in the magic ore cave by Oni to repel Majora's sick actions... Mrrrrrr... ROCK!

Rock- ...

Author- Now, I understand Oni used you to beat Majora on the head... How did that make you feel?

Rock- ...

Author- Oh, you poor thing... ONI! Come apologize!

Oni- For what?

Author- For using Mr. Rocky! You hurt his feelings? Can't you hear him crying!?

Rock- ...

Oni- ...

Rock- ...

Oni- ... Dmn, I'm sorry dude. Let's shake apology on it. –holds out hand- Ah... There we are, all better.

Majora- Cassi, Oni... You're idiots.

(Cassi is author, me! Next!)

Author- Now we're interviewing one of the greatest peoplz ever! My very own co-author and idea assistant, as well as best friend, Kibalover111! But we'll call her Agent H.

Agent H- ... Cassi, you wouldn't happen to have sent a llama to my window again...

Author- N-Nonsense! (Thinking: Dang, the llama stealth unit is getting old...) Uh, anyway, what are your thoughts on the series?

Agent H- It's fun to read! I actually thought you wouldn't work on it like the rest of your stories on quizilla- but wow!

Author- ... Well... THANKS A LOT. Er erm... What are you opinions on Oni?

Agent H- He's funny... perverted...

Oni- What!? Mean, mean, mean! I thought what we had was special...! –Hurt look, slight tears-

Agent H- Uh huh, you mean when you stole my ice cream, you thought that was special?

Oni- Well... the ice cream was...

Agent H/Author- ...

Agent H- Yes, the ice cream was special.

Oni- See? We have sooo much in common! We should rent a ro-

Agent H- -smacks Oni upside his head- You can only do that with Kari!

Oni- Wait, does that mean I have permission too? YAY! –runs off-

Author- uhh...

Agent H- That's not good.

Majora- Don't worry –sipping coffee in chair nearby.- Kari will probably kick him to Kingdom Kong.

Agent H/Author- ... Yeah, probably.

(next!)

Author- Now the newest character of the brunch... Link! How are ya?

Link- Fine, suffering from a serious case of amnesia, but I'm ok.

Author- Uh-huh, is it true you are secretly gay for Hanz?

Link- W-What!?

Author- I mean, dude, you're wearing tights.

Oni/Link- They're leggings!

Majora/Agent H/Author- Tights.

(next!)

Author- Now we're just having everyone in one big interview... Think of it like... smashing a bunch of peanuts...

Agent H- Why peanuts? Why not walnuts or almonds or-

Oni- My nuts! –whistles-

Link- He's very strange, what do you think Kari?

Kari- ... He's deranged.

Majora- Naturally.

Oni- Oh! Hey Rocky, how are you?

Rock- ...

Oni- Oh... But then what about Stony? You little dirty birdie...

Rock- ...

Oni- Oh my! I should try that sometime! Really, and she just...

Author/Agent H/Majora/Kari- Oni, you're an idiot.

Oni- hey, speaking of which, when are we coming back into the story? Majora and myself, I mean... Oh! Rocky too!

Kari- You guys might never. Or, she might bring back Majora and leave you hanging.

Oni- E gasp! No! Senorita Author Lady would never do zat to meh! Right?

Author- ...

Oni- What!? No reply!? You're planning to leave me o- ... Oh... You're stunned by my handsomeness... –grins-

Author- ... Agent H?

Agent H- Already ahead of you. –pulls out shotgun-

* * *

Author Notes: I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and laughed a lot...

Oni- Cuz if I didn't, I'm gonna have to find ya and- if you're a girl- I'll-

Author- Oni! Don't threaten the readers!

Oni- But... –sad puppy eye look-

Author- ...

Agent H- ...

Majora- ...

Link- ...

Rock- You guys are total idiots.


	4. TS3: Two In One

Author Notes: I'm doing a little history of Termina so... It may not be right, but I wanna do it anyway... Have fun reading!

* * *

"No no no! You're doing it completely wrong, that _MUST_ go over _THERE_!" The mayor's instructions filled the air and many men, as well as women, helped push, set, and build things into place... The reason? The Carnival of Time was in three days.

The ending of summer was coming fast, and the air was growing even more comfortable by the day, it seemed. The citizens of Termina Central Town were excited for the day, because the town would also be renamed after the festival itself: It would be known as Clock Town. While everyone continued doing their own chores and duties, almost every single person, at some time, dedicated some effort to the festival's setup. At the moment, Kari sat on a bench, taking a break from painting a banner that would hang from the town's new addition: A Clock Tower. When the mayor cut the ribbon, the town would get its name and become the capital of Termina... Everyone was in high spirits.

"Oi! Mayor! Where should I put these?" Hanz asked with a fiery grin, and in his hands were a large stack of fireworks.

"O-ho, I see you've found them Hanz, good job!" The mayor beamed, "Put them over by... There, it'll be quite a show when we fire those off, no?"

"Course! My dad always makes the best fireworks!" Hanz nodded before striding off and setting the fireworks down. "Hey! Kari, how's it going?"

"Ok," Kari dipped her head before smiling, "I'm taking a break but... A little more paint... and this banner will be the best I've ever seen!"

"Y'always were good at art," Hanz examined the banner with a proud smile. "Well, I gotta go get the next stack, my dad made a lot this year, bye!"

"See ya!" Kari waved before observing the large silky red banner. "Everyone's so happy, that's why I like this festival..." _New town name huh? Clock Town... Has a nice ring to it. _She thought while letting her legs swing back and forth. _A name picked by the gods... _She frowned, gods? Four giants she knew, of course... but... The face she saw so constantly in her mind... Was he a god? No normal Terminan could have silver hair... and his eyes were... glowing eerily. _Maybe I just had a huge dream when I was sick... If I was even sick... Who know's what happened... But... Hanz wouldn't lie... Right? _She sighed. She wished she knew for herself!

"Hey, I thought you're not supposed to be sad when a festival is on its way, or are you getting depressed from the labor?" A head appeared from the rooftops, Link flashed a shining smirk.

"HAHA, very funny!" Kari stuck out her tongue. "I'm working very hard!" Snatching up a paint bucket and a few different sized brushes, she walked over to the banner and began working again. "What about you? Just staring at the clouds all day?"

"Ha! No!" Link shook a hand up and down. "I've been helping the carpenters fix up the buildings to look great! Even though I don't live here... I kinda wanna see this festival of yours."

"Oh, it's great," Kari said while painting a clock onto the side of the banner. "There's music, food, dancing, and Hanz's dad makes wonderful fireworks to watch near the end... The moon even looks prettier than normal when surrounded by the fireworks!"

"Oh re-" _BONK! _A silver bucket whacked Link on his head:

"Come on lover-boy, we've got to fix the inn before people get here!" The lead carpenter said while snickering. "Hey Kari, how are ya doin'?"

"I'm good, Mr. Dansen," Kari had to hold back laughter from the sight of Link's swelling head. "Get him to work hard!" Waving as they turned to leave, she heard Link mumble 'Who's side is she on anyway?' while rubbing his head. "Silly..."

_**DAY 2**_

"How come I have to help you with this...?" Link sighed, dipping his head: ashamed. "Flowers... Guys do NOT handle flowers; that is definitely a girl's task!" Scowling, he continued to pull the green stems of the flowers into an arrangement on a wooden fence above the fixed up inn.

"Quit complaining, it's better than manual labor," Kari shook her head. "And don't say it's just a girl's thing, that's racist."

"Not racist... more like genderist... Is that such a thing?" Link couldn't help but smile as he picked out a yellow tulip from a home-crafted willow basket.

"It's called sexist, smarty-pants," Kari chuckled before proceeding, "Anyway, could you hand me a red rose?"

"Ah, the sign of romance by... some man, let's see..." Placing a hand in the basket, he gingerly navigated through the flurry of flowers without making a single one lose a sole petal.

"There's one," Kari reached for one, but quickly stopped herself as he grabbed it. _I'm definitely not going to end up in one of THOSE moments. _"Thanks." Taking it from him, a stinging pain caused her reflexes to yank her hand away and the rose fell to the ground. "Ssst! O-Ouch, dumb rose..."

"Oo, you're bleeding, are you alright?" Without any pre-thoughts, he seized her hand gently and examined the pierce mark. "Geez and you call yourself a flower shop worker; that got you bad!"

"I-I wasn't thinking..." She froze up after staring away; not wanting to show the crimson coloring, on her cheeks, that was emerging. "I'm fine; we should get back to work..."

"Hold on," _Krrrzpt! _A ripping noise caused her ears to twitch and she jerked her head towards the noise, "even if it's a small cut or something, it's not safe to leave it unprotected." Wrapping milky white materiel around her hand, Link whistled a tune, unaware of twitching. "Ta-da! I'm a magician, eh?"

"..." She gazed down at the bandage, and her hand suddenly became someone else's. A bandage was tied around the hand- which seemed too muscular for a girl's- in the exact same way the binding was addresses onto hers. Shaking her head, the image faded and her own hand appeared again, long thin fingers and the fair skin.

"Are you ok?"

"..." _Say something! Anything at this point! _"Isn't this a part of your sweat towel?"

"Sheesh! Always worrying about the little things, I didn't use it yet so no worries, mmk?" Link held a position like a balance, his hands moving up in down by his sides. "If I wasn't so carefree about these little things, I'd call you ungrateful! Anyway..." Cautiously grabbing the rose off the ground, he wove it into the selected position and returned to facing her. "... Anybody there?"

"..."

"Ello?" _–Poke, poke-_

"AHH!"

"... Nicely done, Miss Graceful."

"L-Like you're on to talk Mr. Tea Pot!"

"Mr... Tea pot? What the heck have you been snorting?"

"A-Ah! Sorry... Wrong person, I guess I confused you for someone else..."

"??" _Yet I can't even... remember... who..._

_**?'s POV**_

"..." I relaxed my shoulder at the sight, unable to hold back the sigh that escaped my lips. "He does like her... He..." I bit my lip while wincing. "I don't trust you Link. I won't trust you... and I won't let you take Kari...!"

_**DAY 3**_

"WOOWOO!" Kids raced throughout the town wearing summer yukatas (1) and holding sparklers that shot out golden sparks like wands. All preparations were complete, everything was in place, and night fell over the land of Termina like a lost friend. Torches were ignited, and the citizens of the town were congregating in front of the new Clock Tower like butterflies to flowers that burst with nectar. A kind breeze from the northern Goron village brought a soft chill into the air so fans were unneeded. Despite the overwhelming excitement, some were not in such a rush.

"Kari! Hurry up! I don't wanna miss the buffet!" Her grandmother yelled from the living room. Kari, in her room, pulled her hair into a quick bun and added the traditional chopsticks. Attired in a brightly colored emerald kimono with purple flowers on it, she sighed. _Stupid festival... I hate gussying up... I it feels... unnatural... Then again, I must be a country bumpkin! _Unable to keep back a smile, she slipped on sandals and swiftly joined her grandmother in the front room. "Link went to Hanz's house to get ready, so he'll meet us there. Now come on! The festival begins in a few minutes!"

"A-Alright alright!" Being half-dragged by her grandma, Kari rushed to keep up until they stopped at Hanz's house. "HEY! Lazy boys! Are you two done yet or are you two more high maintenance than girls!?" Kari shouted, and then paused, waiting for a response:

"Yeah right! We were waiting for you, slow pokes!" Hanz came out first, dressed in a red male yukatas that matched his hazel hair and peridot eyes.

"We were actually wondering if you two were gonna show!" Link came after with a jack o' lantern's grin. Dressed in a rather plain stormy blue yukatas, there were no decorations in the design.

"Well, at least one of you looks spiffy," Kari smiled, her eyes going from Hanz to Link. "Couldn't find anything, Link?"

"Nah, Hanz was a great help and found a tons... but..." Link scratched above his nose. "They were all too noble for me; I prefer the simple look..." Hanz opened his mouth to say something, but it seemed Link beat him to it, "You look wonderful though, I was pondering if anything too girly would suit you."

"Uh... Thanks...?" Kari folded her arms at the remark. "Don't know if you'd call that being nice, but I'll spare you... Only because today's a festival though! Grandma, Hanz, Link, let's go, I'm feeling the festival enthusiasm now!"

_Swoo! _The fireworks count down began, one firework would be launched every two five minutes until midnight which was only twenty minutes away. Kids laughed and played with each other, running throughout the festival area with wide grins and happy auras. Adults, as well as teens, danced to the fast paced tribal music as singles or in pairs with others. A personal band stood in the middle of the crowd, made up of four people. One played a piccolo, the side figure played a harp, the other side stature played a deerskin bongo, and the last sang in harmony with the melody.

"Haha!" Link seemed to synchronize with the dance. As soon as they got there, he was clapping his hands, beaming, and copying others to the music's beat.

"Wanna dance?" Hanz asked, facing her. "Friends of course but..."

"Uh... Sure!" _Enjoy yourself Kari. This festival only comes once a year... I shouldn't live life as if I'm waiting for something...! Right...? _She smiled as she paired up with Hanz and danced cheerfully.

"Well, what's gotten into you, you never like dancing!" Hanz asked while flashing a friendly smile. "In festivals, you used to always hang on the sidelines or the snack bar... Or you wouldn't come!"

"I can't live like a turtle my whole life," Kari replied, "I just figure I should try new things out...! I feel like someone told me not to before!" She raised her voice, the many voices and the loud music drowning her out.

"??" Hanz cocked his head in confusion, but nearly leapt from his skin when someone tapped his shoulder. "Oh! Link, geez! Don't do that!"

"Sorry 'bout that!" Link chortled loudly. "I was just gonna ask, if I can take your place for a bit." Kari blinked twice, and then folded her arms when Hanz nodded with a smile before dancing with his younger sister. "Well, mi lady, can I have this dance? It's not polite to just take over, is it?"

"That's how it's done," Kari light tapped on his head. "Wait a minute, it made a hollow noise!"

"Haha, very funny!" He smirked playfully. "I'll have you know, I'm pretty smart for a blonde."

"So you admit being a blonde!" The two paused, Link hesitated to touch her.

"... Er... Tengo music, I'm not an expert at dancing, I have to say..."

"..." Kari sighed. "Fine, make me do all the work, lazybones." Grabbing one of his hands, left side, and holding it high, she blushed when placing his hand around her lower back. "You owe me big time."

"Gotcha!" Relief washed over him and he began the dance, unexpectedly. "How the heck do you even move?"

"What do you mean??" Her eyes were a little wider than usual, completely bewildered by his comment.

"When... when wearing that thing, it looks tighter than a male's..."

"I loosened it!" Kari exclaimed. "I hate getting all dolled up though... I like wearing comfy clothes, that's why I refuse tow ear corsets."

"Ah, stomach stranglers," He grinned and she laughed.

(Switching to a different crowd)

"Seems your grand-daughter and the drifter are getting to know each mighty well Beck!" An older man laughed whole-heartedly. "Maybe you'll see the day of your grandchildren!"

"Oh? Do you really think so?" Grandma Beck examined the two dancing: They were smiling, they were laughing, and they were having a good time. "Maybe so... But!" Rolling up her plate and hitting the old man lightly, she beamed: "My grand-girl hates when ya pair her up like that!"

(And Back!)

"Phew! I'm tired! I'm gonna have to chill, Link, you go on and enjoy yourself, though." Kari waved him off before sitting down on a bench, exhausted. "How on earth do people dance for hours...!?" She took off the sandals, her feet beginning to ache. "Wait what's this...?" Taking a velvety red circle from her shoe, it took her a moment to finally remember: "Oh! The rose..." Sliding the petal back and forth between two fingers, she smiled, held it up, and then let it glide in the wind. Silently observing her hand, she stole a glimpse at Link. He was surrounded by a crowd, and was dancing with the bakery girl with a kind happy smile. _He... is the same as he danced with me... Oh, Kari! Of course he is! He's a friend, nothing more!! Idiot... _

"Kari, who's the cutie you were dancing with??" Erika, a girl considered prettiest in town, joined her side with a smile. "He's the drifter... right?" With a nod from Kari, she continued, "Do you like him? Because then you can have him but... If not, can I...?"

"Ah! G-Go ahead, we're just friends...!" Kari gawked, waving two hands around rapidly. "Honest," She smiled, and Erika nodded. _She's... pretty nice for someone of her caliber... I can't believe people think Link and I are...- No way! _She shook her head. "... He's just... a friend... Why can't boys and girls just be friends...?"

"Alright! Alright! My I have your attention women, men, gentlemen, ladies, children, citizens of Termina Central Town! We are gathered on this lovely summer night to celebrate the annual Carnival of Time! Started by an ancestors a few years ago, the people of past Termina worshipped the giants as well as the wonderful gift of time they bestow upon us. On this day, we worship life, we worship the gods, and we worship the very spirits of this land..." The mayor stood next to a podium near the Clock Tower. "And now, we are celebrating the renaming of our beloved town... It is under my name, Henry Savur the second, that from this point of time, this town shall be known as Clock Town!" using a pair of wool sheers, a big red string was cut and the Clock Tower became officially open.

"WOOOO!" The crowd roared with cheers and people hoisted their drinks into the air as well as throwing hats up.

"And you all, and I mean all, are now citizens of Clock Town: The capital of Termina!!"

"WOOOO!!"

"WoooOO!" Kari shot a fist into the air with a wide grin. "Yeah! Haha...!" She gave Hanz, who sat down along with her grandma, a high five before scanning the faces of the people. Full of happiness, full of sheer bliss, the towns-folks' eyes lit up with the mayor's words and she knew it would be a fantastic year ahead. Letting her eyes run loose, they came upon Link.

He was beaming, as jovial as the rest of the group. He whistled as loud as he could, he seemed as proud as everyone else, as if he lived in the town his whole life. He had the same demeanor as everyone else, but what made him so different? He was... just a drifter, after all...?

"..." As if he felt her stare, he turned to face her, puzzled at first, but then his lips curved to a huge smile too big for his face as he waved. Then she saw it. She saw pale skin, she saw white hair. She saw a tall slim figure, she saw a boy sticking out his tongue at her. She saw... someone else similar to him. She saw...

A glimpse of her lost memories...?

* * *

(1)Yukatas- A type of summer robe, similar to a kimono, but lighter and thinner for summer (Japanese)

* * *

Author Notes: I hope you enjoyed this chapter... I'll get to more funny parts, trust me! And as for Oni... I _might_ give him a second chance... I sense a big love triangle coming up (XD)

Oni- Wait! So you have ideas that I can come back in!?

Author- Sort of... But I don't know if I'll use them!

Oni- YOU MUST! I can whoop Link's butt as well as Hanz's to win Kari back!!

Author- But she doesn't remember you.

Oni-... Mean... mean... mean... –storms off silently-

Majora- Why's he so gloomy?

Kari- In the series I can't remember him.

Author- he takes things so literally though... Doesn't he know this is just a series on some fan fiction sight?

Majora- I think he loves you Kari.

Kari-... OMG... So in the scenes where...! AHHHH!! –Runs off blushing madly-

Author- ... Majora, can you do the disclaimer for meh?

Majora- Why not, gives me a few seconds of fame... Lady Cassi does not own the Legend of Zelda or any of its characters. Neither does she own Microsoft word, the air she's breathing, nor the evil jelly pandas I'm creating to take over the world.

Author- Ah, very g- Wait, wha-

Majora- The next chapter will be out soon! Sayounara!


	5. TS4: Dark Magician

"A magician?" Kari cocked her head, perplexed by Clock Town's new visitor. "Why would a magician come here? Is he good...?" She sat on a stool, sipping away a glass of chilled milk.

"I don't know," Link shrugged, he sat adjacent from her, on the couch. "They say he's just a traveling magician who does shows for cash... Hey, we should see if he can make you disappear."

"N-Not funny!" Kari exclaimed, a sweat bead dripping down her temple.

"Hm? What, are you afraid you won't come back?" Link looked at her, but she didn't answer. _Mmm... Magicians give me the creeps... At least, the kind that put people in a box and cut them up! _She grabbed her throat, and gulped. "Ah, so even the high and almighty Kari is afraid of some things!"

"I hate it, I'm not afraid of it..."

"Scaredy-cat," Link got up and placed a hand on her head. "You have to conquer your fears, why don't we go watch a show, and I swear to the giants I won't volunteer you, ok?"

"..." She bit her lip, fidgeted once or twice, and sighed. "Fine... But you'd better not, or I'll never forgive you."

"We'll even sit in the back row! Come on, he has a show today!" Link grinned and almost dragged her out the door, running towards Central Clock Town. _He wanted to see it, _Kari shot him a dirty look as she grinded her teeth. "Here! Whoa! His stage is pretty big, don'tcha think?" People were already bustling around the theater in great numbers, so the entire town seemed to be there as well as a few Gorons, Dekus, and Zoras from the different lands. "Ok, we'll sit... Here." Crashing down on a bench, He pat the space next to her. Although something in her gut told her to run home, she sat down and wearily gazed at the stage.

Emerging from behind a curtain, a thin handsome young man smiled at the numbers. With hair the color of a raven's feathers and eyes of onyx found deep within mines, the man seemed just about Link's age, if not a tad bit older. He wore what one would call a black ninja outfit, but the costume lacked a mask one would find normally. His shark eyes scanned the crowd, and he was honestly pleased.

"Hello!" He shouted over the crowd, and everyone fell silent. "First, I'd like to be polite and introduce myself properly: My name is Jaden Kroth." (Anyone notice his initials are J.K?) Pacing from one side of the stage to the other, he spoke with a smooth flowing voice like a serene river. "I have come to your humble town, to only please you, citizens of Clock Town. Actually, I wish I could've been here for yesterday's festival, but I think its best how it turned out today." He closed his eyes for a moment. "Alright, let's get down to business, because I know we all hate when people ramble on! Now, for today's show, one of my employee's is sick, so I'm going to need a volunteer..."

"Oo!" Link's hand shot up.

"Suggestion?" Jaden watched him, something strange in his look.

"_Link! You said you wouldn-_" Kari hissed but Link cut her off.

"I'm not volunteering you, chill!" Link stood up. "I'll volunteer."

"Sorry, boy, but this is showbiz; I can only take pretty girls... What about that girl next to you?" _Dmn you...! _Kari glared daggers at Link who sheepishly dipped his head in apology.

"Yeah! Go on, Kari!" A few townspeople cheered and she sighed.

"You owe... me... so bad for this..." Standing up, she glumly found herself on the stage, and it took every last bit of willpower she had to stop herself from shaking and running off.

"So, Kari is it?" Jaden questioned, and she nodded. "Kari will be my lovely assistant for today, everyone give a round of applause, she looks nervous."

"Wooo!" The crowd rallied. _I hate you all... _Examining the crowd, she winced but found some comfort in Hanz, who was biting his lip. _At least he knows my fears... That's why he didn't sit next to us... He wanted to volunteer like Link... _Sending a look of appreciation towards Hanz, he nodded and then frowned: Will you be ok?

"Alright, Kari, I need you to step inside this... er, magic closest thing, ok?" Sighing once more, she stepped inside the exotically decorated closest and felt her heart beat rise as she heard muffled voices from outside. _Come on Kari... Get a hold of yourself... It's ok... You'll be fine... _She let herself shake, unable to hold that back. She slid down the side of the box, closing her eyes with her hands on her head. _I'm scared... I want to go home..._

_**You'll be ok.**_

"What...?" She whispered. "What was...? Huh...?" The strange voice made the fear and chills flee light rats from light. "I'll be... ok..." She stood up. "I'll be fine...!"

(Now to Link, don't wanna spoil a magic trick XD)

"Kari... I'm sorry...!" Link chewed on his lip, examining the box. _Idiot... You just had to volunteer yourself... Always screwing things up... _He clenched his hands to fists, and watched intently. "But maybe she'll get over her fear... Right...?" He let his head drop and a dark rain cloud rain over his head. "I'm screwed. Kari's gonna kill me."

"And... Tada! She's back!"

"Oh...!?" Link looked up and his mouth nearly fell to the floor to see a smile on her face.

"Hello!" Waving, she grinned.

"Thank-you Kari, I'll have another assistant so you may rest up, good job." Jaden clapped. "And a round of applause for Kari!"

"Wooo!"

"But you...! I thought- I MEAN- I don't get this!!" Link ruffled his hair crazily when Kari sat down.

"I was freaking out at first... but..." She folded her arms. "I guess I got over it." _It'll sound crazy if I say a voice in my head told me it would be fine._ She laughed, nervously. "I'm ok... you should be happy, I don't have to murder you now."

"Eh heh... heheh... Riiight..." Link swallowed slowly. "Well, fear's gone then, right!?"

"... I suppose." _But that voice... Cocky, yet kind... So familiar too... Why can't I remember...?_

(LATER ON!!)

"Night Link," Passing the blonde, she entered her room and shut the door. Quickly, she sat on the bed. "I want to remember... I want to remember what happened... I know for a fact... I wasn't sick... I want... to know..."

"Do you really wish that bad?" A voice outside the window made her jaw drop.

"Wait what!?" She dashed over to the window, and looked down to see Jaden, arms folded.

"I'll ask you again; do you really wish to remember that badly?"

"How do you...?"

"I know many things. After all," He turned to her with a fervent fire in his eyes, "I am a magician."

"So... you'll tell me?"

"Follow me, if you truly wish it," Jaden began away, walking off towards the woods. Instinct told her something was dead wrong, and that she shouldn't trust him so flawlessly but...

"I want... to remember!" She pinned her hair up and jumped out the window, onto the cold evening grass. "Wait a minute, hold up!" Jaden stopped, waited for her to catch up, and then the two walked into the forest, shrouded in darkness. "Can you explain it now?"

"So you really can't remember me... Pity," Jaden kept sauntering.

"Why can't you tell me here? Why...?"

"My powers are weak unless I'm in a sacred place, there's a lake in this forest... I'll reveal it all to you there, so hush up for now."

"... Fine..." She folded her arms, but kept trailing behind him. _This isn't safe. We're deep in the forest... Kari, you idiot... This guy... is no average Joe. _She examined him silently. Colder and colder, the temperature dropped as they advanced into the thick foliage and an eerie mist coated the forest like a thick blanket. Finally, they came upon a lake dyed silver from the moonlight, there was a clearing surrounding it, and Jaden stepped up to the water.

"Here we are... Ready to learn?" He stepped onto the water, standing on its surface, and she gaped. "Come." Holding out a hand, she hesitated to take it but when she did, she too strode on the water as if it was solid ground. When they reached the center, he stopped and faced her. "Give me your hands."

"..." Now, she couldn't disobey; her mind almost absent.

"Giants of this land... Using your divine power and spiritual strength, I open the gate to the ancient cities... unlock the mind of the deities, and use their past being to bestow a new gift..." The water lit up, and Kari could make out tons of ancient symbols in the water, lighting up at different moments, almost as if they were talking. "Restore my being... for I have seen the light." _SHINK! _Walls of light surrounded the lake, and cast into the heavens. The earth rumbled fiercely, and Kari tried pulling away. She didn't care anymore. She didn't want anymore of this. Jaden's grip on her increased.

"My dear girl..." A sickening tone appeared in his eyes. "Didn't your mother ever teach you not to wander off with strangers?"

(Switching point of views!)

Link stirred in his sleep. _Wake-up! Wake-up! _An annoying voice screaming at him inside his head. _Get up! Get up! _When he could take it no more, he jerked awake to the night sky lit up by unrealistic lights from the forest. "W-What...?" Swiftly jumping to his feet, he pressed a hand against the window, it was cold as ice. _**Kari needs you. **_"!?" With the strange voice, Link raced from the room and bashed Kari's door in. "K-Kari!!" Her window was wide open, and she was nowhere in sight.

"Link, what's wro-" Grandma Beck's voice came from her room, but Link sped out the door, leaving it open behind him.

"K-Kari! Kari!" He yelled, and without a second thought, he took a horse from a pasture nearby and began riding it into the forest, faster than speed itself. The air around him grew heavy and pressure pressed down on his body, warning him to turn back. With that warning, he drew a sword from the horse's saddle, and got ready.

* * *

Author Notes: Yay! Action time! Can you guess what's going on?

Oni- It's the apocalypse?

Author-... Close, but no.

Majora- The world's core is exploding?

Author- ... No, I hate science...

Kari- That I just got myself into a crazy situation that I'm going to regret?

Author- That too...

Link- That I'm going to have to fight Ganondorf? I mean, I fight him in every series...

Author- No, but you're getting warmer!

Oni- Wait!! Rockies coming back!?

Author- ...

Rocky- You guys are total idiots.


	6. TS5: It'll Have To Wait

"I feel... I..."

"That's right, go to sleep," Jaden chuckled. "It's all the better."

"Why are you...?"

"That's life for you, cutie," Holding her chin by two fingers, he smirked evilly. "I have to say though, I did plan on telling you what you lack, but it seems better to leave you mystified. Now, go to sleep, and when you wake up, you'll see the world anew, and completely under my control, my queen." _He's... in... sane..._ She lost herself, and fell, slumped in his arms. "I was overjoyed when I found you again, my dear. I missed you," He went to kiss her forehe-

"STOP RIGHT THERE!!"

"Oh?" Jaden looked up towards the voice. "Ah! What a lovely surprise, the stupid boy from earlier. How are you, imbecile?"

"Put Kari down, you bstard!" Link growled, his teeth pressed so tightly against one another it hurt. "Give her back!" Running forward, he was shocked and sent back from the invisible gates.

"Let's face it, you're helpless to save her now. You'd have to be a g-"

"I'M NOT GIVING UP!!" His yell reached the heavens and rumbled the earth and he rocketed forward this time. "I WILL save her! I will!" The sword slammed against the barriers of light making loud clangs that rang into the night. "I will save her! I will get her BACK!!" _Ker! RACK!_ A crack developed in the force field and then the entire thing shattered, making Jaden's lips part before smirking as Link rushed inside the area, able to stand on the water. "I'll give you one last chance..." Holding the sword completely horizontal, there was an icy chill in his eyes that shook with pure hostility.

"It would seem I didn't give you as much credit as you deserved... I'm _sooo_ sorry," Jaden sniggered. "Oh, wait! How could I not see it before? The resemblance is striking... A final battle."

"What are you mumbling about!!"

"Ok, ok, you can have Kari back..." Jaden set Kari on the water surface. "But you'll have to beat me first, winner keeps her."

"Eh!?" Link clenched his teeth. "She's a not a prize..."

"Then you don't want her?"

"Ergh! In that case, I won't lose!" Link sprinted forward, crashing his blade down onto the surface causing a splash.

"Ooo, temper, temper lover-boy," Jaden's voice came from behind; he was five meters away in one second. "I was there a _long _time ago; you'll have to be faster than that to catch up to me."

"Dmn you...!" Link raced forward and swung the sword vertically like an axe but only got the same reaction as before. "..." _He's really fast... This is bad, if I can't hit him... No! I will!_

(SWITCHY!)

_"..." Where am I? "Hello?? It's so... dark here... Am I dead...?"_

_"Not quite, hun, but you're pretty close, you know?"_

_"W-Who are you!?" Kari jerked up and looked around vigorously. "And where are you...?"_

_"I'm just a voice, don'tcha recall hearing me earlier?.. Sheesh, is my memory spell on you working that great?"_

_"I don't... remember you..."_

_"Dmn straight!" A laugh came and a glowing figure emerged from the darkness to her side. A loose posture was the figure's choice, and Kari stared at the figure in awe. He had moonlit hair, shiny silver that parted in the center and curled around his head elegantly like a river weaving through rapids. Gazing back at her, glowing white eyes without pupils clung to her face, but were not aggressive. "Are you alright?" Holding out a hand, she paused but took it, and the boy pulled her to her feet. "You know, I'm actually a little sad with how well it worked... I wish you could remember me, but I guess I outdid myself... Hey, what's with that face? If you stare at me like I'm a god or something, your face will stick like that... Besides, you're cuter when you're angry, Kari."_

_"I... You... I have a perv stuck in my head...?" Kari rubbed her head. "That's it; I need to stop eating food late at night..."_

_"..." He raised a brow but smiled warmly. "I... missed ya, silly girl." When he hugged her, a shock shook her entire body and everything came back._

_"Y-You pervert, Oni! Let me go!!" Pushing him off, she gasped. "Wait... I remember! Oni... You're...!" He pressed a finger to her lips._

_"The power of hugs," He grinned before continuing, "... Idiot." Smacking her on the head, he grew a stern look. "I thought you were smarter! How could you... I mean, just walking off with some stranger like that! You could get yourself killed! Or raped! Or-"_

_"I wanted... to remember... Now I know why..." She frowned, her eyes growing shiny from bubbling tears._

_"O-Oi! Don't you cry in front of me!" He embraced her again, tightly. "I'm a sucker for crying girls..."_

_"Oni... _

_"What...?"_

_"Are you dead?" The whispers in the black void echoed and he sighed._

_"No. Not... fully... My personality is rather dead, but my body... well, excluding my power, my body is quite fine... I want you to think back Kari. Think of the past few weeks. Then... you'll know who I am."_

_"What? Wait! Oni, where are y-"_

_"You don't expect me to hang out in your dreams forever, do ya? Although it'd be pleasant to have a bit of 'fun'..." His infamous smile appeared. "Some of us need to save someone from some old rival, got it?"_

"I know!" Kari jerked up, and suddenly realized where she was... Although it looked very different. The full forest was gone, and burned to the ground like a fire demon on a rampage. The barriers of light that cast around the lake were gone too, but there were remains floating in the air, piecing together again. And then, all around her she gasped: All the townsfolk. Hanz, Grandma Beck, the elders, Erika, the bakery shop owner, everyone... and they were all staring behind her. Hesitant to turn, she gradually pulled herself to her feet and held her fists tight.

_Clang! _Blades clashed and rain began falling harsh on the two figures that ran against each other, and then backed off. Link, on the left, huffed and puffed, trying with all his might to defeat Jaden while Jaden, on the right, showed no sense of exhaustion and hadn't broken a sweat. Lightning in the clouds above crackled and with every flash, their faces lit up. Link was gritting his teeth, and he was struggling to keep up. Jaden, on the other hand, was at ease and doing fine.

"He... He'll die... Why won't he..." _"My personality is rather dead, but my body..." That's it! _"I... I know...!" She began running forward, towards the fray.

"K-Kari!! What are you doing!?" Hanz gawked from behind, and she looked back with a grin:

"I'm saving my friend!" Approaching the fight, an uneasy aura pushed down on her body, making it harder to run.

"K-Kari! Get back!" Link shouted, going at another chance with Jaden before backing up.

"I will not hesitate to destroy you in order to beat him," Jaden added, coldly.

"O... O..." She knew the name, yet it seemed so far. _The funny guy who always made me secretly laugh... The pervert who kept me on my toes... His name was... _"Oni!" Running forward, she glomped Link on the spot. "Wake-up Oni! You need all your strength to beat him... to beat Majora! You can't be lazy, this is serious!! Hear me, Oni? Wake-up!!"

"D..." Link's head dropped and his hair shielded his eyes. "Durncing King's back." Hearing a crack, Kari watched, horrified slightly, as his face crack and piece fell to the ground before blowing away as dust. Happening all his whole body all that ended up remaining was a glowing white silhouette... _Keeee... CHE! _The glowing light exploded, stopped five feet away and then began gathering back up, forming a body as the light gained color and texture. Then, when the transition was complete, there, Link, who she had been hugging, now stood tall as a deity. The Fierce Deity. Oni. "Geezzz! I was gone preeeetty long! Hm... This is new," Smirking down at Kari who, for once, was the one actually hugging him. "You know what the first thing I'm gonna do is?"

"...?"

"... Heh," A familiar light flickered in his eyes as he pulled her in tightly and stole a kiss from her lips. "You don't know _howwww_ much I wanted to do that."

"Uuuhh..." She looked up at him, wide-eyed and her mouth hanging open while her face changed to twenty shades of red. "G... Gyaahhhhh!! P-Pervert! What was that for!? You just invaded my bubble! You...! You...!"

"Ah, how I missed that cuteness you have when you're angry... Sorry, sweetheart, but I've got business for now... Then, later, we can discuss how you _begged_ me to stay..."

"I-I did nothing of the sort!" She yanked away from him, blushing.

"O rly?" That smile appeared and he recalled: "_Stay... for me.._ What was _that_ then?"

"Agh! I hate you! Why can't you croak like a frog?!"

"I'd love to... but," Pushing Kari behind himself defensively, Oni's long two metal blade appeared in his right hand, "It'll have to wait."

* * *

Oni- YESSS! I'M BACK!!

Author- Yes...

Oni- How come you brought back Majora, too though? All he ever does is try to abduct Kari...

Majora- I'm part of the plot, you idiot.

Author- Majora is probably only going to be in the next chapter, then he'll die off again... Uh, Kari...? Kari, are you ok? (Glances to Kari who appears to be in a dark emo corner)

Kari- Oni... kissed me... He... kissed me...

Author- Oh, she's just breaking down, it's ok... Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this chapter of True Self! Now, Majora, Oni, disclaimer!

Oni- Author Lady does not own the legend of Zelda, any of its characters, Microsoft word, or the pizza we just ordered!

Majora- Neither does she own a brain, a life, or a date to the celebration party of this story.

Author- What!? I-I do too have a brain! And a life! And a- ... Ok, so maybe I don't want a date.

Majora- Right, you can't get one.

Author- ... So... So mean... (Joins Kari in emo corner)

Oni- If it makes you happy, I can be your d-

Author- You're going to make me kill myself. Besides, you're going with Kari.

Oni- Then with Majora.

Author- No way!... I know!! I'll go with rocky!! Hey, rocky, do you wanna g-

Rocky- No.

Majora- And you're even rejected by a rock.

Author- (REJECTED!)


	7. TS6: Stop Crying

Author Notes: This chapter it kinda short... but you'll see why.

* * *

"HAH!" _Clang! Cling!_ "HYYY!" _ING! KERSHEW!_ "HUT!" Sword smashed together in a blanket of darkness and only by starlight could anyone see the fight. Oni lunged forward, slashed his blade, and then jumped two steps back. Jaden- No, Majora dodged with elegance in his movements, not sudden jerks like Oni. _This is bad... Majora is still toying with him... Oni... What will happen if you...? _Shaking her head, she shoved the thoughts to the dark areas of her mind. _He can do it... Come on Oni, take him out!_

"_Hu... Hu... Hu_..." Oni panted, getting tired. "Dmn it..."

"What's wrong, brother?" Majora smirked, placing a hand on his forehead. "Are you already exhausted? Terrible, you need more exercise!"

"And you need a life..." Oni spat to his side and standing tall. "Maybe a girl would help you..."

"Are you forgetting what we're even fighting over?" Majora gave Oni a blank stare. "You truly are an idiot."

"I know what we're fighting over!" Oni hissed. "But get your own, Kari's mine!" Kari blushed momentarily, but then grew an empty stare and her eye twitched. _Do I even have a say in this?_ She sighed. _I'd actually do fine without either but... well... _She rubbed her head.

"I'm astonished, considering when you were in that other form you said she wasn't a prize..." Majora sneered. "What giant did you receive that from?"

"Oh! That reminds me! Why the h3ll are you alive!?" Oni dashed forward, and caught Majora's sword in a cross. "The giants gave me a second chance because... because of Kari...! Why the heck did they revive you!?"

"They never destroyed me," Majora replied while pulling back his sword and swinging it horizontally. "They decided to give me a second chance to see if I could grow to be like... Like you of all people!" Majora laughed. "I'd have to lose my brain to do that though!"

"I'm not that dmn stupid!" Oni growled, and began swinging his blade above him like a helicopter propeller. "I just-" Slamming the sword into the ground, he caught Majora's cloak, ripping it off "-don't wanna be some nerdy god like you!"

"Oh, touché," Majora's eyes flickered angrily, but then he must've had a thought, because his smirk returned. "Why don't you listen to your older brother and just give up?"

"A-Agh!" Oni, flabbergasted, shook his head. "You're only older by five-thousand years!!" _Only? _Kari coughed. _That's a lot of lifetimes... _"So don't rub it around like a trophy!!"

"Why not? It honestly appears to bother you," Majora folded his arms. "Oni, why don't we finish this? It's been dragging on far too long for my taste, and I'm more patient than you."

"Very well..." Oni exercised his shoulders, punched the air, and hopped back and forth, switching his legs. "Ok... Ready to go when you are! Cuz' you know what they say, ladies first!" _What is Oni talking about? He can't handle another blow! If Majora hits him... he'll..._

"Prepare yourself, Oni!!" Majora rocketed forward, holding his dark blade straight forward like a spear. _Oni will...! Oni will...!_ Her feet began carrying her forward.

"I won't lose!" Oni rushed forward, using every last bit of his strength.

"ONIII!!" _SHLOT! _Blood slid down clothing and dripped into the lake, dying a small portion red. "Tst...! Egh...!"

"K..." Oni's eyes widened in horror and the large sword fell from his hands making a loud 'thunk' on the ground. "K...!" Unable to speak, even Majora's mouth hung open at the sight. "KARRRIIII!! KARIII!!" Majora withdrew his blade out of her stomach, and threw it to his side. "KARI! KARI!" She fell, slumped, into his arms. "Kari...! Why did you...!?" His body trembled, by their own blades...

"You..." Kari was able to smile. "... couldn't take another hit... Idiot..." She winced, the pain of two wounds, one from behind and one from in front, both penetrating through. "Ha... Ha... Your face right now... is priceless..."

"K... Kari...!" Oni clenched his teeth. "I'm a god...! I could've handled it, you stupid girl..." His eyes shivered. "Why did you have to..."

"Sorry... I'm always... forgetting that..." Kari's eyes traced his face. "You need to act godlier... Got it...?"

"K-Kari...!" Teeth gritting, he tightly closed his eyes, not wanting to show the world, not wanting to show anyone or anything the tears forming. "Hold on...! We'll take you home and fix you up...!"

"I'm sorry for this..." Kari shook her head. "Second girl to die on you... Sorry..."

"Stop apologizing!" He jerked his head side to side. "I can get you home... Or I can have the giants-"

"Oni..." She sighed. "I'm fine... if I go... like this... I'm tired..."

"What? Kari! Don't go to sleep! Kari! KARI!" He shook her but nothing happened, using one hand, he closed his eyes and let his hair fall in front of his face. "Dmn it...! Dmn it! DMN IT!!"

"Oni. Stop crying," Majora's voice came from in front of him, and Oni jerked his head up, angrily.

"What does it matter to you!? You keep doing this! You killed Saluse! You killed Kari! ... It's all... your fault...!" He held Kari tightly. "Why must we keep fighting!? Why do we keep doing this!? The gods made us... to protect this land... And what have we been doing!? Killing it! Killing people! If you have a better a-"

"Oni! Knock it off!" _Smack! _A slap on his cheek made Oni's tears freeze as he watched his older brother. "S... Stop it...!" Majora's fists were clenched, and Oni swore he saw a wet tear drip onto the earth. "L... let me see her..."

"W-What?" Oni defensively held Kari closer, but when Majora looked up, Oni saw streams of tears.

"Please."

"..." Oni, against better judgment, placed Kari on the ground, and held her hand tightly.

"Murderers! You're all murderers!" A call came from the crowd of people surrounding the fight. The call came form Hanz. "You killed my sister! You killed Kari! What more are you going to do to me!? To my family!! To my town!?"

"I... have a plan..." Majora took one of Kari's hands gently. "Alright, so stop crying."

"You stop crying and I will," Oni remarked making Majora smile softly.

"Bury me somewhere nice, ok?"

"Wha-"

* * *

Author- Thanks for reading!! Sorry it's short but... The next will be longer! I hope you enjoyed it... even if it was dramatic... The funny will be back! Kari falls slumped in people's arms a lot... (Kari: You make me do that!!) Uh...! Anyway!

Oni- I hate this chapter... (sniffle)

Kari- ... At least that was only acting...

Oni- ZOMG Kari! You're alive!! (hugs)

Kari- You idiot, I only died in the series.

Majora- He's incapable of understanding... But why the h3ll did you make me cry? I wouldn't cry.

Author- We all know your a heartless bstard, but I wanted to make you out to do something nice... FOR A CHANGE! Now cry! (kicks in fmaily jewels)

Majora- (squeak, falls on ground in pain)

Oni- Ouch... I remember when that happened to me in one of the first few chapters of God's love...

Kari- Ah, the good days.

Oni- What?


	8. TS7: Eternal Brothers

"He doesn't belong by her side! He was the reason this happened!"

"That's ENOUGH! Hanz, you will wait out in the living if you do not stop yelling, boy!" Grandma Beck stopped Hanz's accusing cries with a thunderous roar, threatening Hanz with her walking stick. Yet, this all acted in silence in his ears. Oni's ears. Sitting on the same chestnut chair he sat on when he had helped Kari's grandmother as Link, he now remained quiet by Kari's side, his eyes glued to her eyes. Only when they opened would he move. Otherwise, he would let himself rot in the house. The only things that passed through his mind were this thought, and a few hours ago...

_"What does it matter to you!? You keep doing this! You killed Saluse! You killed Kari! ... It's all... your fault...! Why must we keep fighting!? Why do we keep doing this!? The gods made us... to protect this land... And what have we been doing!? Killing it! Killing people! If you have a better a-"_

_..._

_"I'm sorry for this... Second girl to die on you... Sorry..."_

_..._

_"I... have a plan... Alright, so stop crying."_

_"You stop crying and I will."_

_"Bury me somewhere nice, ok?"_

_"Wha-" A bright light burst from Majora's body, as if he exploded, and the shatters, the pieces then shot into Kari's body. "Majora- What are you!?"_

_"Oni..." Majora's voice came from the air around Oni. "Calm down... Do you remember when I used a technique close to this on you..?"_

_"What?!" Oni gaped but then fell silent. "When we were kids... I... I skinned my knee... You…We were playing in the field... The old wheat farm by that long river in the mountain valley... I... I fell... I fell while we were playing tag... And then you... Your hands glowed white and my wound healed... Back when we were inseparable... huh?"_

_"Hahahaha! Oh those days..." Oni felt a soothing aura in the atmosphere, as if Majora was smiling. "You were so clumsy! Always having to watch over you... Always getting you out of trouble... Then we gained different views on this world."_

_"We started out protecting the land... Gained worshippers... Then the Terminans took us for granted... They started thinking natural disasters were caused by us. They got angry and tried to kill us many times... Yet... I was fascinated by them, and continued to protect them while you..." Oni sighed._

_"I grew angry toward them. They burned our home, they scorched our pride, and they came after my family... My little brother and... our mother. And what next? We end up fighting and heading down different paths... We competed; we wanted to see who was better constantly..."_

_"And this is where it gets us..." Oni winced._

_"Feeling a little regret?"_

_"Yeah right!" Oni barked. "You used to always wake me up early! And grew cross whenever I forget to wash my laundry... And when I mixed your whites with my red tunics... Heh heh..."_

_"And you kept screwing with my potions, twit," Majora laughed. "We got even..."_

_"Eventually... But... Wait...! That technique... After you used it last time you got so sick! How is it even going to work? Kari is dead...! How would you-"_

_"You're very foolish little brother... It's a fair trade. If this works or not... I don't know however..."_

_"What do you mean..?"_

_"Give my regards ... and... don't be so trusting of Terminans... They'll... just hurt you... like they've hurt us before... Take care of yourself... Oni..."_

_"M-Majora...! You... Majora? Majora!" Oni yelled into the night but no reply came. "You... stupid... You're supposed to be the smart one...! This whole time... were you... looking out for me...?"_

...

"Why? Why... you idiot...! You're all stupid...! So...! Stupid!" Oni grit his teeth, clenched his hands into fists, and winced. "All fools! Doing something like this... for me! Of all people...! Majora... Why didn't you just tell me straight out...!? In the end... You stupid older brother! And Kari too! Both fools! You didn't want me to get hurt... but by doing that, you're hurting me anyway! What was the point!? Stupid girl! Stupid brother! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"

"Could you stop... banging on the bed... please? And stop calling me stupid..." A weak voice startled him, making him rocket back into the seat, causing it to tip back and him to land with a crash on the ground. "So graceful as always..."

"K-Kari!" He gawked, scurrying to the bedside once again. "Y-You're alive!.. And you're one to talk, how less feminine can you get?" He gave her a blank stare, trying to act casual.

"Nyah, nyah, nyah," Kari tiredly stuck out her tongue. "What... happened...? I'm... at home now... I think..." Kari scanned the room. "Who won..? Is Majora dead...?"

"He..." Oni felt a qualm in his chest making his mouth move, but no words come out. "He's... He gave up... and let me win after you d-" _What would you want Majora? _Oni thought silently. _To not be given credit, huh? _"-passed out. He said he was going to settle down somewhere, and work on his magic until he becomes strong enough to achieve immortality." _That sounds believable... Right? _"Hanz, your grandma, and myself brought you back home and patched you up..."

"Really...?" Kari's eyes grew wide, but she smiled. "I seriously felt like I died! Then again... I feel completely refreshed... Do you have some healing magic, or something?" Oni responded with a small white lie, it wouldn't hurt the world. "I see... but... when I was out... There were these orbs of light... In each one, I saw a different memory..."

"I guess that's what they mean by your life passing in front of your e-"

"No... Not my memories... Majora's... I think..." She rested her eyes shut. "I saw what looked like you and Majora playing tag as kids... I saw this woman... She was tall, pale, and more of a girl than myself..."

"What? What did she look like...?"

"O-Oh, well she had long blonde hair... and really pretty blue eyes... Majora was close to her..."

"And so... so was- never mind..." Oni couldn't help but smile. _His fondest memories... of mother... _"You must have been dreaming; it must have been someone you knew." He lied. "I'm going for a walk... rest up, alright?"

"But I feel fine..." She sat up, and began out of bed. "I can go with..."

"O rly?" He raised a brow. "Cuz if you don't get back in bed, I'll have to keep you there my way." The smile from so long ago appeared and made Kari gape: She wouldn't put it past him. "Now... chao!" He waved a sort of four finger gesture as he walked out into the living room. "Kari's awake. If you wanna talk to her, now's your chance." Speaking with a cheerful whistle to his voice, the statement made Hanz and Grandma Beck rise, and rush to the bedroom. Hearing questions of concerns, he looked back at the bedroom door one last time. "It almost sucks that I was revived, because even now, it's not like I could stay here..."

_Flick! _A chestnut horse's reins flapped in the air and the horse broken into a steady gallop. Wind whipped his face, and, for the first time he noticed how cold it was. The sun above dazzled the world with brilliant rays of light, and he felt warmth from them, actually felt he heat. Suddenly, the world became alive to him. _Did the giants... when I used the vessel of Link... did they give me the ability to...? They really did go out of their way to make me more Terminan... _Oni frowned, yet scowled at the same time. Pulling the horse's reins back when he came upon a forest clearing, he hopped off.

"Well, aren't you so smart Majora? Bury you in a nice place... Psyeah right! You didn't leave anything to bury, dumb nut!" Oni took off his hat and threw it to the ground. "And you call me stupid..." He crashed down onto the ground, letting the wind conduct the grass to tickle his face gently. "Big brother... You're a fool..." He rested his eyes shut, almost feeling a presence dwell in the area.

_"Big brother! Big brother! Big brother! You're so slow! I'm faster! You'll never catch me, big brother!" A smiling boy with pale silver ore hair laughed at his older brother who was panting._

_"Yeah, well, I'm older, and don't have an annoying brat's energy..." A young Majora with black coal hair that stopped at his shoulders held himself up by having his hands on his knees._

_"W-What? I-I'm n-not a brat!" Tears formed in the little boy's eyes. "Y-You're s-so mean!!"_

_"N-Nani!?" (1)Majora gasped, rushed over, and quickly hugged his little brother. "You dork, I was just kidding. Big boys don't cry, so you shouldn't be crying, ok? What would mom say?"_

_"That you're an (Bleep)hole!"_

_"N-No..." Majora's eyebrow twitched irritatedly, but he laughed. "Some colorful language you have developed... though. Ok, let me make it up to you. I'll show you my favorite place in this world, but you have to promise to keep it a secret, ok?"_

_"Huh? O-Ok!" The young Oni became entranced at the word secret, determined to find out. With a smile, Majora took the young boy's hand and began leading him up a flowery hill._

_"Back in mythology, they say this place gave birth to two demigods," Majora explained proudly as they walked. "And because of the beauty of this land, the demigods were connected to it through love and friendship."_

_"Love and friendship? That sounds boooring!"_

_"Haha, maybe now, but you'll probably fall in love one day, Oni," Majora chuckled. "Remember what mom always said..." At the word regarding their mother, Oni winced sadly. "Life without love is life without cookies."_

_"Huh? Cookies! Let's get cookies! I want cookies!" Oni totally forgot the subject. "Chocolate chip! Peanut-butter! But not raisin! BLUCK! Let's get cookies after visiting your secret spot!"_

_"Hahaha! Alright! Alright!.. Follow me," Majora got down on the ground, and patted a few areas of the flowery patch. "One, two, three: Manarosa." The ground shook softly, and opened to reveal a stairway. "Come on!"_

_"Oh wow! You're a magician, Majora!"_

_"That's because I actually study magic unlike some people..."_

_"Huh? Mean! I can still burn your butt!!" Oni protested, but fell silent when they came upon a chamber. "Oh wow... It's so cool! Secret Base! Secret Base!" He rushed around, examining everything._

_"If you're ever unhappy..." Majora said, "Come here... And remember everything you loved."_

_"Whenever I'm sad...? Will there be people who make me sad...?"_

_"Many Oni... There will always be those people... So I'm giving you this, that way we're always connected." Majora held out an amulet, a silver chain connected to a sun. "I have the other piece." Putting the necklace around Oni's neck, Majora held the own piece that hung from his neck. "If you're ever in trouble, or sad, or anything, just connect these. They fit like..."_

_"Like brothers!"_

_"Yeah..." Majora rubbed Oni's head. "Brothers..."_

* * *

(1)Nani- What (Japanese)

* * *

Author notes: I wanted to make a cute chapter... and tell a bit about Oni and Majora's pasts. Anyway... Now that all the needed characters are back... ON WITH THE COMEDY! Also- IMPORTANTE- school is starting soon, so writing will get harder to do since I'm taking all honors and AP... Updates will be slower, but I'll try hard to keep writing!!

Oni: I remember those days! What about you Majora?

Majora: I-I have no idea what you mean... (perturbed about memories of being nice) And I didn't give you the second necklace!

Kari: Then what's this? (holds up Oni's necklace) and you have one too. (Holds up Majora's amulet)

Majora: I knew I should have let you die...

Oni: But you didn't! Thanks much older brother! (hugs) Now! Smile! (pulls on Majora's cheeks to make him smile)

Majora: You have two seconds before I rip your hands off, make you eat them, then kill you, cut you up into small pieces, and feed you to the annoying pigs from the Windwaker.

Oni: Uhh... Right! (whistles and quickly walks away) He's too scary when he smiles anyway...

Author/Kari: ... Nice threat...?

Majora: That goes for you two, as well, in future reference. (glares)

Author: ... Kari, do you still have the shotgun?

Kari- Yup. (cha chick.)


	9. TS8: Reward

_No matter what... I couldn't just leave. _"They're all staring... It's quite rude, maybe I should threaten them..."

"Oni!" _Smack! _She received a hit on the head, but it wasn't hard enough to hurt. "You can't go around threatening people... It's not polite, or nice for that matter..."

"Nice?" Oni 'hmph'ed. "Who's trying to be nice? I'm just hanging out here until my powers recover fully..." _Liar. _He told himself secretly, and half wanted her to hit him a few more times, more painfully. "I still think I should knock one down at least..."

"Oni! You can't go around harming people, you're not a god!"

"Uh... Helllooo... Earth to Kari, I believe I am," He smirked while she sighed. Pausing to speak, he did listen to her reply: "Sorry, I forgot." Staring ahead, he hadn't noticed the slight frown that developed on her face. "Anyway," He began while stretching, "where are we even going? And why am I walking ahead when I don't know?" Stopping, he faced her. "And what's with the gloomy look on your face... It's so... gloomy."

"H-Huh? O-Oh, nothing!" She shook her head. "I want to go to work, remember? You just started following me... But now that I look around... I think we passed it..."

"Well, start using your brain! Otherwise, we'll be walkin' all day!"

"Like you're on to talk, baka!" (1) Kari scowled. "Sorry if I'm used to following you around! I mean, I WAS DRAGGED AROUND BY YOU FOR SEVERAL MONTHS!"

"Not _dragged_... You make me sound as if I took you against your will," Oni sneered. "And I thought things would be different after you begged on your knees for me not to go with the giants..."

"I-I was not on my knees!"

"So you admit it, you begged."

"What!? No! I did not beg! I don't remember anything of the sort!" She folded her arms, stuck out her tongue, and a fire flickered in her eyes.

"Kari, Kari, Kari, when will you learn? Sticking out the pink muscle only tempts me to bite it," He positioned his face close to hers. "Or is that what _you_ want?" His notorious smile rose on his face, and Kari didn't dare leave her tongue exposed. "Much better, although I think I would've preferred biting it." He held a posture that reminded Kari of a balancing scale; his hands were held up and moving up and down, weighing the possibilities.

"Pervert..." She grimaced before taking long strides to pass him. "I guess I won't work today... Not that I'm sure my boss would like you to follow me there anyway..."

"I wonder why no one likes me..." Oni held a hand up to his chin. "Although I did take sacrifices that were never heard from again... Well, except you... I did befriend some people when I was Link... didn't I?"

"A few... but I think they don't want to hang out with you in fear of others ousting them," Kari explained, noticing that when she gazed at the staring people, they quickly looked away. "Grandma Beck will stay kind though... After all, you brought me back and saved her life."

"Oh yay," Oni sarcastically remarked. "I'm friends with an old hag and her grand-daughter... Not even one drinking buddy? That's no f-"

"The last thing you need is to drink!!" Kari blurted, remembering last time. "_Ninety-six freakin' kids_...!" Her fist clenched and Oni took a step back. "Baka! The last thing I need to deal with is a drunk Oni! And so, if you do get drunk, expect me to push you off a cliff into a roaring river of rapids where your body gets horribly mangled and you die!! Got it!?"

"..." Oni gazed with wide eyes. "Are you PMSing?"

"WHAT!?"

(Switching to spectators...)

"BAKA! BAKA! BAKA!!" They watched Kari beat the god over the head several times with a red face full of rage. "Don't you remember last time you said that!? You're such an idiot!!"

"She treats the gods like a friend..." One of the women commented. "Sort of..." She added as a loud "smack" rang through the air.

"And the Fierce Deity does not fight back..." A man nodded. "Could something have happened when Kari was abducted? She certainly seems like herself so it can't be a spell..."

"Maybe she changed him," A younger girl suggested. "Kari has that sort of personality to do so... Maybe she flipped the leaf of 'im."

"Either way," A little boy continued. "She's beatin' the crap out of him."

(And switching back!)

"I-Idiot..." She sat down on a bench, too tired to hit him anymore. "Geez... That's my exercise of the day..."

"I think I've lost a few brain cells..." Oni sat on the ground, leaning his back against the bench, rubbing his head that ached in pain. _Not like you have any to lose..._ Kari thought, her eyebrow twitching irritatedly. "You hit too hard to be a girl... If it were up to me, I'd check," The smile appeared, "but you'd just hit me again and again."

"Got that right... But that's insulting...!" She barked. "I am too a girl... I just got my personality from my dad... Although, Grandma Beck hits hard too, so I think it runs in the family." She smiled. "Hey, Oni, what's that...?" It took him a minute to realize she pointed at the talisman that drooped from his neck.

"Oi, this old thing...?" Oni took it off, and held it in one hand, hiding the smile in his mind. "Just an old gift.. I'll never give it away."

"Really...?" Kari let her eyes follow the orange orb's edges. "It's pretty, I bet a really good craftsman made it." _Given to him by... Saluse...? _She forced a fake smile, feeling a lump form in her throat. _ I wonder if I look like her..._

"Would you believe... Majora gave it to me? Ha," He winced with a smile. "We weren't always so distant... When we were kids-"

"How long ago was that?" She couldn't resist, a sudden happiness knowing it wasn't from Saluse.

"Haha, very funny..." Oni grinned. "When we were kids, we were joined at the hip. Since he was older, I was always trying to be cool and hang out with him... But he was fine with that, he didn't like being around Terminans... In fact, the early years of our lives... We spent in the mountains with my mom..."

"Mom? You two had a mother?"

"Yeah... You see... She adopted us when she found us as mere newborns in a field of flowers up on a hill..." _ The secret spot... _An inner voice recalled. "She was young, and was to marry this man... But he said: Me or those kids... Like a good woman, she chose us... She raised us the best she could, in town, at first... But then as we aged and gained powers, we were isolated and even ran out of town by the people we grew up with... Then, we were raised in a house outside Goron village, they were kind to us... However, bad omens in Clock Town, as it's now called, made people uneasy and they thought... Get rid of the problem... get rid of the evil... They attacked My mother, Majora, and myself on Christmas, killing my mom while we..."

"We what?" Intrigued by the tale, she was determined to hear more of his past.

"We unlocked our true potentials. While fleeing, Majora used dark magic to destroy the group of people who threatened us, and I... caused a meteor shower that beat down on the land, severely damaging clock Town... and murdering many. The Gorons even wanted us gone... out of fear." She noticed a bit of anger swelling in his voice. "So we left. We traveled... We found home in the forest, growing up with only each other... Majora insisted revenge on the Terminans... but I... I was only five. I didn't hate them, I didn't realize the hatred they sent us. This began tearing Majora and myself apart... We became rivals, I started by protecting the land, while he destroyed it... Finally... when I was attacked by the Terminans I was protecting... Guess what?"

"Snap...?"

"Yup, and I made some very bad choices... Sacrificing became my biggest act... because I was..."

"Lonely?"

"W-Was not..." Oni jerked his head away, but Kari knew it to be true. "That's the story of sun and moon."

"Of who?"

"Sun and moon, Majora and I... We were opposing brothers. He was calm, steady, and had every thought collected while I... I was the silly, outgoing boy. Tho' I do think I've matured somewhat."

"Matured? You? Matured? That's like saying the giants are evil."

"I think they're evil," nodded Oni. "Except the Bay one."

"... Moving on..." She coughed twice. "You don't hate Terminans anymore... do you?"

"Not... Not as I used to. Not as Majora still did... Does I mean," Oni remembered his lie from the other day. "I can't help but find them interesting..."

"Good, because if you did hate them, you'd have to hate yourself." She stood up.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You're a part of this town now... Aren't you?" She clasped her hands together, and turned away from him, hiding the tomato tone in her cheeks.

"... Awwww- I-luv-u!" He tackled her from behind, hugging her tightly. "You're being nice...! You're so Kawaii when you're nice... or when you're angry... So cute!"

"B-Baka! L-Lemme go!" She gawked, trying to shake him off, suddenly falling still when his arms, that had been at her waist, moved over her chest.

"Can I reward you, somehow...?" A whisper came from her ear, and her hands turned to fists...

"LET GO YOU PERVERT! IDIOT! STUPID BSTARD!! YOU NO GOOD KIDNAPPING PERVERTED RAPING SEXUALLY HARRASSING SON OF A GUN TERRORIST!!"

* * *

(1)Baka- Idiot (Japanese)

* * *

Author notes- I hope you enjoyed... Yada yada yada... Four days away from school, so be prepared for less writing!!

Oni- How come I always take a beating in funny chapters?

Kari- Because it's funny... and you deserve it.

Majora- A imperially correct answer, Kari (smirks)

Oni- W-What? M-My pain... is... is laughed at? (big googly eyes) This sounds like some Avenue Q song... Shadenfraude..?

Author- I think so...! ... Oh yeah, Majora, are you entering the cooking contest this Wednesday?

Majora- They haven't seen true cupcakes until I have made them... (scheming eyes) So yes, I AM entering.

Author- Yes! Free food! I love being a cooking judge...

Majora- What? You'll be a judge...? (scheming eyes grow more intense as he walks off to some corner.) Yes... I shall poison the one she eats...

Kari- Uh... Author, I don't think you should test Majora's cooking...

Author- I'll just eat what he doesn't give me, simple as that... Free cupcakes!! YAYZ!

Oni- my pain... (cries) makes people laugh... (cries harder)

Kari- Oh, stop being such a crybaby!

Oni- What? You care! (glomps)

Kari- NO! (punches off) You're getting the floor wet.

Oni- Oh the unkindness... She hits like a man... I thought girls receive pain whe-

Kari- Different subject for different time! Goodbye folks, glad you enjoyed the chapter!


	10. TS9: River Run

**First Day of Fall**

"Hmm HMmmMm," A pleasant humming filled the store. _Clip, clip! _A soft snipping of flowers with a pair of small silver scissors unleashed a natural odor that smelled fresh yet soothing. Sticking the newly trimmed flowers into white wrapping paper, she tied the bottom with a red ribbon, complimenting the rose bouquet. "Here you go, I hope your wife likes it, Mr. Johnson." Handing the finished product to an elderly man, Kari took the money he held out before leaving... "Another finished job, a lot of husbands have been coming to get gifts for their wives... Probably because of the giving festival coming up..." She rested her head in her palms that were supported by her elbows on the table. "It's a waste of time... I think..."

"What's a waste?" Words came after a gentle bell chime that hung from the door. In the store, Oni walked with slouched posture, and laziness to every step. "Oh... Wow... Agh, comin' here is like steppin' into a perfume shop..."

"I'm surprised you'd know what a perfume shop smells like... Ah-ha! Oni's secret passion: Perfume sniffing."

"Yeah right, I was dragged into a shop once because they wanted me to model their cologne," Oni defended as he touched the tip of a yellow rose. "So this is what you do with all those flowers you pick... I was startin' to think you kept a secret stash or something." He sauntered in front of the desk and leaned forward on it, his arms holding him up.

"Whatever," Kari sighed, putting the money inside the cash register. "Are you here for business? Because if not..."

"Oh yeah, I'm here on strict business," He put on a fake staid look to go with his act. However, his smile broke through like a tsunami washing a single baby away.

"Oh really," Kari folded her arms. "If that's so, what can I possibly offer you?"

"Oh, many many things, but I'd settle for us to head back home and having a nice time in b-"

"So sorry, we don't have that in stock," She turned away, and strode over to a big pot of flowers. "We only have roses, tulips, carnations, daisies, as well as sunfl-"

"I'd like one rose, then," Oni pulled out some cash. "Just one, though."

"Wrapping?" Kari selected a new young rose from a fresh batch. "Ribbon color?"

"Neither, a rose is prettiest when left in its uncovered state... Like a woman without make-up," A light flashed in his eyes. "Or clothes, for that matter."

"Oh, _just take it and go_, some people are _very_ serious about what they do in life. And..." She sighed in relief when another customer came in. "I have more customers waiting, so, thank-you Sir, and good day." Adding a little harshness to her tone, he only smiled and walked away, waving one hand as he passed through the door. "Hello, good afternoon, how may I help you?"

--

"All the flowers in there smelled sweet, but I still favor roses," Oni cheerfully marched through the street, rolling the rose back and forth between two fingers. "You, my little friend, will play a very important role soon. Heheh."

"Talking to a flower? That's not very god-like," A familiar voice, yet with a hint of coldness, came from behind.

"Huh?" Oni reversed to see Hanz with his arms folded and he held himself in a somewhat uneasy stance. "Oh, oi, Hanz, how are ya? It's a nice day out, isn't it?"

"..." The once kind face shown no sign of friendliness it used it.

"Ok, I'll cut the crap, what's shoved up your ass that you're giving me that death glare?" Oni's eyes flickered angrily, but his face shown no emotion. "What did I do that that's bothering you? Because I'm pretty sure... When I was Link, you were kinda nice to me."

"Like you even need to ask," Hanz's hands clenched to fists and his jaw slid back and forth, grinding his teeth. "You took Kari away, brought her back, and now you show up? Why can't you let Kari have a simple life again!?"

"_Excuse me_, but without my help, Kari wouldn't even be standing here today. Are you saying you regret she's alive?"

"Don't turn things around!" Hanz's raised voice caught the attention of a few passer-goers. "I'm extraordinary happy that Kari's alive!! Because...! Because...! Unlike Kari, what about my sister!?"

"Sister...?" Oni's eyes widened, what did he mean?

"Knock it off, what about my sister Saluse!!" Silence fell upon the two as Oni's jaw dropped to the ground. Saluse? Saluse? Saluse was Hanz's... Saluse? _That darn girl... even when she's dead she's causing me trouble... _A knot formed in Oni's throat. When coming from Hanz... Her name hurt him so much more. _So Saluse... This is that little brother you always talked about... The one who was always smiling and laugh...? Don't seem like it... Who'd guessed you'd be her brother Hanz, when your Kari's friend... Just my luck..._ He winced, his heart throbbing in pain.

"Please do not speak of her in front of me..." He kept calm, though. If he was to blend in with this town, he couldn't attack people... Sadly.

"You killed her!" Hanz shouted, his body trembling slightly. "And now you plan on killing Kari too, don't you!? We're only Terminans! You're...! You're a demon! You took Saluse from home...!" Tears were forming in the usually kind boy's eyes. "And we found her dead...! Drowned...! You killed her...!"

"Oni! Hey! Oni!" Just to "help" the situation, Kari appeared from the flower shop door, running at the two with a smile. "Oni, you forgo-" Hanz launched an arm up, blocking her from moving anymore forward. "H-Hanz..." Her lips parted, noticing the tears falling.

"Kari...! You mustn't hang out with this monster!" The last word made Oni flinch. "He's the one who...! Who killed Saluse!!"

"..." Kari's mouth opened, finally connecting the two pieces. _My best friend... was killed... and everyone said she drowned but... Saluse was the same girl who Oni fell in love with? _Kari looked at Oni, slightly disturbed, but his face as well shown sadness. _But Oni didn't kill her... Majora did...! My best friend wasn't murdered by Oni! I know this!! _"Hanz! Oni didn't k-"

"That's enough Kari," Oni turned away. "You shouldn't waste words trying to protect me... I... I'll be leaving this town..." The rose in his hand fell to the ground as he walked away. Silently watching him disappear in the distance, Hanz and Kari hadn't moved an inch... but... "You...!" Her hands tightened to fists. "Hanz! You idiot!!"

"What!?" Hanz gaped at her sudden anger.

"I don't care what he says...! Oni did not kill Saluse! He loved her!!" Kari felt pain in her gut by the last statement. "And... he probably still does..."

"Oh yeah? Is that what he told you!?" Hanz's unaccustomed anger made Kari take a step back. "Why do you protect him!? He doesn't deserve it! He probably lied to you, he did kill my sister!!"

"I protect him because...!" Kari felt her body stiffen, wondering if she could actually tell the truth. "I protect him because...! He's my friend!!" This made Hanz recoil. "He taught me how to laugh everyday! He kept me on my toes...! He saved me numerous times...! We became friends, Hanz! Friends! It made me happy and not think of Saluse once! I was happy because... I found someone who made me forget her discovery..."

"K-Kari..."

"I-I... I don't like how you are right now...!" Kari avoided his touch. "Would Saluse want to see her happy-go-lucky brother so angry like this!? Would she like to see us fighting!? I...! I hate this...!" She snatched the rose up from the ground. "I hate that you're doing this...!" And she began racing after the deity who walked the same path as she ran now.

"K... Kari..." Hanz loosened, the tears that had formed in his eyes had stopped, but seemed to continue on in Kari. "I'm sorry... Saluse..."

--

"Majora... You were right..." Oni spoke below a whisper as the horse he bought carried him out the north gate. "I ended up this way again... because I put too much trust in the people there... But... I still think of Saluse... I still wonder... where would we be today if you didn't kill her...? I know you were looking out for me but... Were there others way to do so? I don't think you're that smart at times..." He held the crescent moon necklace in his hand, he had retrieved it the day he returned to the battle field by the lake in the forest. "But maybe... You do know what's best...?" He was hurt, shaken, just from her name. "Maybe I should summon the giants... Then I wouldn't have to worry about this... I'd just go away like I should have... but..."

_"Oni... We have decided on giving you a second chance..." One of the giants said making him gasp._

_"W-What!? With everything I did though...! Why are you...!?"_

_"Majora requested it," The bay giant smiled. "He was all like: Dude, please give Oni a second chance.' And then, we were all like: Dude, ok, we got plans."_

_"Not exactly like that..." The serious giant protested. "Majora requested it, and we agreed just now on your actions... You have learned to care for Terminans quite a bit, haven't you Oni?"_

_"S... Sort of..." Oni dipped his head._

_"And you were hurt when you left that girl at her home."_

_"Ye- W-Wait, no way! I-I was perfectly fine!"_

_"Tough guy," The bay giant laughed. "Because you have learned much... You will get a second chance... However..."_

_"You will not remember her," The serious giant said making Oni rub his head: What's the point, then? "But you can remember her depending on actions... Protect her, and she'll protect you... And Oni..."_

_"Yes?"_

_"Don't let hatred consume you... If you lose someone dear to you..." He was definitely talking about Saluse, and Oni's mother. "There are people that will deal with the pain alongside you. There are people who... care about you. Remember, Oni, you are not alone."_

"..." Oni got off the horse, and sat down near a riverbed, watching the water splash over a few rocks. "Not alone... huh? People who share the pain...? You guys are... You guys have gotten so corny..."

"O-Oni! Oni...!" An exhausted voice called from behind making Oni jerk his head back to see Kari panting.

"Geez, you ran all the way out here without a horse? You really do lack a brain."

"Baka!" She smacked him, the rose clutched in her hand falling onto his lap. "You're an idiot...!" Tears bubbled in her eyes, tears for him. _K-Kari... _"I thought you were leaving...! Y-You...! You scared me..." She crashed to the ground, panting terribly.

"I am."

"W-What? Y-You can't...! Aw, screw it... let me catch my breath..." She remained quiet for a few moments, reducing the fast breaths to long deep ones. This only made him smile. "Ok..." She took another deep breath.

"We should get you a black mask, then you'd be able to do the Darth Vader thing," Oni smirked, but was not able to get the laugh from Kari as usual. Instead, the look she gave him was kind of sad, but she forced a smile.

"You can't leave town, Oni..."

"And why not?"

"B-Because...! Because..." _I'm a coward... _She thought while grimacing. "Because there are people... in town... That care about you... and..." Oni raised a brow, her words were starting to sound A LOT like the giants. "... And you're my best friend..."

"..." His eyes softened, and a small smile appeared on his face.

"And... by staying, you can prove to people you're not a bad person...! Show them... The funny side of you, the one I've seen countless times... But..." She laughed. "Hold the perverted stuff, eh?

"... No perverted stuff, huh?" Oni folded his arms. "I think... I'll try it again... but don't think that this crummy talk is what's making me stay. After all, you're still my sacrifice." He grinned, making her lips curve up into a wide grin.

"Arigato!" (1) Kari hugged him, but quickly realized her actions and pulled away. "Sorry..."

"Why are you apologizing?" Oni cocked his head, not noticing her red face. "I love hugs!" He pulled her closer, hugging her tightly. "I love cuddling better though..." He pushed her over, and hovered over her.

"I'll give you... three seconds to get off me," Kari's eye twitched. "One. Two. T-"

"Three," He swiftly rolled off her, but picked her up.

"Wait, what are you-" _Splash! _He threw her in the river, and rushed in after. "C-Cold! E-Evil!!

"I'm not on the evil side, or good for that matter," His smile came out making Kari fold her arms with a smile. "I prefer the sexy side!" With that, he splashed water her way, making her put her hands up in defense, but get hit anyway.

"You're on!" She giggled, sending water straight back his way.

"O rly? Can't touch this!" He began dancing, but got hit by the water, nonetheless. "Oi! It is cold!!"

"It probably doesn't help that you're wearing tights!"

"Not tights!" He defended. "They're leggings!" _Splash!_

"Hahahaha!"_ If I can make him laugh... and smile, and we do things like this... I think..._

_I'm happy, as long as we're... friends..._

* * *

(1)Arigato- Thank you (Japanese)

* * *

Author Notes- Yes, I know there would be no Darth Vader in that time period... But it does make you laugh or smile, right? Anyway, today in the credits we're doing something different... Name pronunciations!!

Kari- We'll start with Oni. Oni's name is pronounced like "Oh-knee" Let's have Oni demonstrate.

Oni- Huh? H- (Kari kicks him in the knee.) OH! MY KNEE! OW!

Kari- Without the "my" though. Or "ow" for that matter.

Oni- K... Kari's turn now... (Winces, but regains calmness) Kari's name is pronounced like "car-ree" The "R" is slightly rolled, as if there are two "Rs"

Kari- That's just how you Romanize it, you idiot.

Oni- But I _like_ romanizing things! (Grins) Majora's turn!!

Majora- Oh dear god... My name is pronounced like "Muh-Jore-uh"

Oni- Exactly! Think of baby language and you got it!

Majora- _What?_

Oni- Moving on!

Kari- Hanz's name is pronounced pretty simply. Say "Hans", but replace the "s" with an "z"

Oni- Booorrring! Author lady's name is Cassi! Pronounced "Cas" as in cast, "sea" as in the ocean. "Cas-sea." Got it?

Author- I don't think my name matters, Oni...

Oni- Nope, not at all! I just wanted to do another name! (Happy dance) Now rock's name!! (Everyone but Oni: Oh god...) Say "roc" as in the ancient mythological fire bird that has red feathers. Like a phoenix, but not on fire!

Majora- Did he just...

Kari- Say something... smart?

Author- RUN! IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!!


	11. TS10: Cucumber Craziness

**Fifth day of Fall**

"Uh, wait, I can handle this... Where do you want it...?" A cold chill was on its way as Father Winter was one his annual routine. The leaves of trees grew red, orange, yellow, and brown ones fell to the ground, lifeless; the trees were even preparing for the nasty approaching winter. Warm thick wool coats became expensive, while summer dresses and apparel fell so cheap and the production of them stopped. It had been only four days since the first day of fall, and Oni avoided Hanz as much as possible. However, even when they ran into each, Hanz held his tongue, dipped his head, and continued on.

"Thank you... My back just can't handle all the merchandise..." An old man chortled while Oni took hold of several boxes, not having any trouble at all. "I just need them stacked over here... Thanks, my boy."

"Anytime," Oni smiled, waved, and exited the store. Lately, he tried taking Kari's advice for once, and worked to get on good terms with the people of Clock Town. "I'm surprised people that old still work... When their bodies grow so frail... _What's_ the point? Too bad they didn't have my aging rate, heh," He smirked, content at the thought of no wrinkles.

"You live far too many lifetimes, I think," A light-hearted voice came from his side, and Oni turned to face Kari, who wore a green peasant dress along with a brown scarf. "**Achooo**! You're lucky you can't feel the cold..."

"Uh... Correction..." Oni scratched his ear. "The gods granted me that ability when they gave me Link's vessel. It's just that I don't mind the cold, it's kinda refreshin' I think."

"R-Refreshing...?" She gazed at him with a dumbstruck look, yet her brow was raised. "You need to get your head looked at..."

"Kari, if you're that cold, I can always cuddle up with you," His well-known smile appeared, but as he went to hug her, her fist met his face. "Ow wow wow... I was being nice..."

"And like your normal self; I wouldn't ever be cold enough to do that with you..."

"??" Oni cocked his head. "You're no fun... Of all the charming girls in this village, how the heck did I get stuck with you?" He shrugged, but it was a comment just to poke fun. Almost knowing her response, he beat her to it: "Then you shouldn't have given me a black rose... Izzat right?"

"... That's too weird... Don't do that, someone like you shouldn't know me so well..." Kari began walking towards the market. "Anyway, I came to get you to ask you, can you help me carry groceries home? We're almost out..."

"Heck, I could carry the groceries, you, and the market home if I wanted," Oni beamed, cockiness in every word. "Sure, I s'pose I can help... Since I'm another mouth to feed, eh? Hey, if you're that cold, just write me a list and I'll get the stuff while you head home."

"What? No way, you'd get _everything_ wrong."

"Nani? I was trying to be considerate too!" He laughed, at ease with her answer. "That's Kari for ya, the girl lacking a women's kindness..."

"W-Well...! I am only _sixteen_, Mr. **A-thousand-and-three**!!"'

"Oi! Oi! Don't yell that so loudly, you make me feel like I'm older then ea-"

"You probably are...!" She grinned, stopping at the vegetable stall. "Ok... We need a few radishes... some tomatoes... Two cucumbers... And an onion here. We still need a lot of grains though... And fresh meat, grandma Beck is quite the carnivore..."

"Radish... tomato... onion... Oh, I definitely see a resemblance of something to this," He held up the cucumber, making Kari's jaw drop. Then, as soon as she gained a reality check, a deep red wave splashed across her face and she snatched the innocent vegetable from his hand. "P-Pervert! It a simple cucumber!!" She quickly turned to the clerk and paid for the stuff. While the clerk added everything up, Oni came up with an "pleasing" comeback:

"If you wanted that so bad, you should've asked... I'd give you something ten times bigger."

"..." She froze, just as she gave the clerk her money. "I DID **_NOT_** WANT TO KNOW THAT YOU IDIOT!!" _KERSHERK!_ Snatching the cucumber, she beat him upside the head making it crack in half before throwing it back in the basket she carried. "Honestly! I mean! Of all things...! ... You're bad for my blood pressure..." She sighed, regaining her composure before continuing onto the next stand.

"Blood pressure? Come on, I would call it anger management more likely." Oni observed as she selected a good loaf of bread, a sack of rice, and a slab of tofu. "Besides, may I jog your memory once again; you're so charming when you're angry, I take pleasure in doing this."

"_I know_," She grinded her teeth at the words, yet her actions brought a smile upon his face as he began whistling a tune. "Eh..." Quiet, she didn't complain a bit that the basket was growing too heavy for her... but it was actually quite easy to notice. As she placed another thing in the basket without a word, Oni ran a hand through his hair as he grabbed it from her arm.

"Idiot, if it's getting too heavy for you, you should let others handle it."

"I-It wasn't t-that heavy...!" She defended, not wanting to reveal weakness but he pat her on the head and continued walking.

"_Sure, Kari, sure, __**whatever**__ you say_," He smirked. "Oi, what kind of meat are we getting? They have beef, pork, and lamb..."

"Huh?" Kari examined the merchandise. "We're getting beef; we can't afford pork and lamb at this time... During the cold seasons, we have to learn to ration what we have. Otherwise, we'd run out of food and money too fast." As she explained, he listened intently, sort of intrigued by the living ways.

"I can buy my own food, if that helps any, I mean, I **CAN** make money appear out of thin air..."

"Eh? N-No! It's ok," She waved her hands back and forth. "Grandma Beck would beat me senselessly if I let you do that! Since you're our guest, and have done many things for us, it's only natural we return hospitality... It's a thing friends do for each other."

"..." He blinked twice, "Alright!" A wide spread grin lashed out on his face. "Beef it is!" While Kari paid the clerk, Oni grabbed a bag labeled beef and threw it over his shoulder. "Hey, Kari, is this one ok?"

"Sure," She dipped her head. "I'm surprised you knew which one it was, I didn't think you could even read."

"What!? No way!" He stuck out his tongue childishly. "Mom and Majora taught me to read very well, thank you very much! I often tried to skip out of learning lessons, but Majora would always catch me with magic... I wasn't very skillful back then."

"Ha, and you are now?" The comment was playful as they now examined all they had collected. "I think we're done... Is it heavy? I can take some back."

"Heavy? You try swinging around a ten foot sword made of strong minerals, you get pretty buff."

"Ahhhh so that makes you a **meathead**, I get it now...!" She beamed, and they began heading home. "Hey, Oni..."

"Hm? What?"

"Uh... n-nothing, never mind..." She dropped the conversation, clasping her hands together behind her back.

"Huh? No, what'd you mean?" They were entering the forest trail that led to her home. However, Kari said the same thing:

"Never mind, _it's nothing_, honest."

"..." He set down the groceries silently, and then, like an assassin, he leapt on her back, causing the two to fall to the ground with a _**thud**_.

"O-Ow! What the h3ll was that for!?"

"Tell me," He rested his weight on her, holding her down. "Cuz I'm not getting up until you tell me."

"What!? You idiot! It's not important! Now, if we don't head home the meat will-"

"_I'mmmm_ **nnoooottt** _mooovvvinggg_..." He smiled. "If it's not that important, you should just say it, because it had no value anyway."

"But what's the point of saying something that has no value...!!"

"..." He remained in that position. "If you don't say it, I'll make you say it _my way_."

"... Huh, fine..." She sighed. "But can you get off me? You're crushing my back with your fat..."

"Fat? Excuse me, but what part of _this_ is fat?" He moved off her, and flexed.

"All of it..." She exercised her shoulders. "I was just going to say thanks for helping me carry everything, geez... See? Not important," She snatched up a few of the groceries and began walking again.

"... Hehe, you're welcome, Kari!" He hugged her from behind.

"You know, normally hugs from people are OK. But when they're hugs from you, you never know what you'll end up doing so... LEMME GO ALREADY!"

"I'm going to do anything..." he snuggled closer, resting his head on her neck. "You're so warm... I like this."

"... And I draw the line, let go!" She pulled away. _I-Idiotic p-pervert... _"Glad you made a discovery now pick up the rest of the stuff and let's go HOME already!! Sheesh!!" She stomped away, while a grin appeared on his face.

"You're so determined to get home! Do you want us to have a nice afternoon?" His smile appeared, she raised a fist to hit him, but as he flinched, she lowered it.

"You're going to be the end of me..."

(Somewhere Else)

"So carefree..." A dark voice chuckled at the crystal mirror's image. "_Completely_ unaware of what's going on... To my intent, I see he will no be no harm to my plans... But... his abilities enhance while protecting that girl... It might be better to... Kentos! Come!" From the shadows, a man emerged clothed with a black cloak, yellow eyes watching his leader intently.

"Yes, my lord?"

"That girl... Bring her to me," Sitting on the stalagmite throne, the ominous figure took a sip of rich red wine. "I believe I can have use for her, to stop this Deity figure from messing up things."

"Yes, my lord..."

"Oh, and Kentos?"

"Yes, my lord?"

"Be a dear and fetch me a prisoner, **I feel like chopping someone's head off**..." A sickening crack of knuckles came from the figure's hands.

"As you wish..." Kentos chuckled before walking off. "_Anything_ you wish my lord..."

* * *

Author Notes: Didja enjoy the chapter? Yes... I made it slightly perverted with the cucumber... but face it! You're reading True Self, sequel to God's Love! Oni's back! Expect it!

Oni- Heh heh, that **cucumber comeback** was pretty good, if I do say so myself... (Folds arms, smirks, satisfied)

Majora- Are you sure you killed off the right person?

Author- You know, I've been asking myself the same thing for the last few chapters. However, you gotta admit his stupidity is funny.

Majora- ... Yes... (Smiles) Like the time we put him in a giant hamster wheel...

Author- Ahahaha! Yeah! He ran and ran and ran, he really wanted that popsicle!

Kari- Good times... (Laughs)

Oni-That was **NOT** funny! I... (Sniffle) I was never able to get the Popsicle... It kept running away...

Author- Uh-huh... (Raises brow) Well, see you guys, I'm off to dunkin donuts...

Oni- What!? TAKE ME WITH YOU! (Tries to glomp but gets hit in the face)

Author- nope, not happening. Majora, Kari, what do you guys want?

Kari- Crème filled.

Majora- Chocolate glaze and... if the star bucks ifs open, get me some coffee.

Author- What? Ugh! Fine! You're paying me back... (Start away)

Oni- What about m-

Author- You want a whole freakin' box of munchkin donut holes and two jelly filled donut alongside a chocolate glaze, and three sprinkled plain donuts... Did I get it?

Oni- Yes! Thank-you Senorita Author Lady! (Tries to glomp again but gets hit in the face again)

Author- Seriously, why do you even try anymore?

...

Rock- Hey... What about me? (All alone)


	12. BONUS CHAPTER 2

Author- Welcome! Welcome to the newest Bonus chapter of... Dum da da dum! Drum roll please!! (makes annoying tapping sounds on a desk)

Everyone from cast(excluding Majora)- True Self! You're number one favorite comedy series!!

Majora- Favorite my ass...

Author- Meanie! (hits) Anyway! Today we're going to discuss randomness like we usually do. For starters, we are going t-

Majora- You're kidding me, you actually thought this crap up?

Author- ... (glare) Anyway...

Oni- Brains... Brains... (walking zombie-like) Brains...

Majora- You knows, if Oni ever really became a zombie, he's probably go after female chest organs...

Oni- ... (pauses)

Author- Wait... Mammals... Wait! You don't mean...

Oni- (slight laughing under breath)... _Bewbies_... (continues walk towards Kari)

Kari- Keep this up and **no** donuts for you.

Oni- ... None?

Kari- _None._

Oni- ZOMG! I'm cured!! I'm human again! (happy dance)

Majora- (blank stare) You idiot, you're not human to start with... (smacks over head)

Oni- Ow! Why are you hitting me? Why does everyone hit me? **WHY AM I FUN TO HIT**!?

Kari/Majora/Author- Because you deserve it.

Author- _Considering how many times_ you sexually harass Kari...

Kari- As well as other girls...

Majora- And as well as taking sacrifices from Clock Town.

Oni- W-What!? You're one to talk!! You're the **evil** brother!! You killed tons of people! And tried to rape Kari! And-

Author- Oni, Majora has an excuse for it, _he's evil._ It's an evil thing. You're supposed to be good.

Oni- What? I didn't sign this on any contract...

Kari/Majora/Author- (exchange glances) Article twenty two page three hundred and sixty six.

Author- THY HOLY HAND GRENADE SHALL BE USED TO BLAST THY ENEMIES TO ASHES!

Majora- Wrong article, Cassi.

Author- ... oops, that was the Monty Python article, wasn't it? Ok... (Smart talk), by no reason should you (More smart talk) when you already (Even more smart talk). See?

Oni-... ??

Majora- (stares for a moment) _Goo goo, gah gah, wash lala boo_.

Oni- Oh!! I didn't know, I can't read _smart_ print!

Kari- ... That was... weird...

Author- Yeah... (Kari and Author both gaze at Majora, silent)

Majora- ... What?

Author/Kari- Pffft..! PWUAHAHAHAHAHA! **YOU BABY TALKED**! BUWHAHAHAHAHAH! (crying so hard, in tears)

Majora- ... (holds out hand, a dark magic orb appears in it sinisterly) One.

Author/Kari- Hahahaha- Wait, what?

Majora- Two. (Orb starts gathering electricity) Th-

Author- Stop looking so evil! You're scaring my dog! (hits with newspaper)

Majora- (falls unconscious, orb fades)

Oni- ... I wonder... (pokes with foot) Hooray! Thy has slain the dragon!!

Author- ?

Oni- Now! Just to make sure you're ok, the _**love**_ doctor will be having examinations. So, now, you're going to have to remove your clo-

Author/Kari- (exchange glances) ... DIE!! (Both kick him in the family jewels)

Oni- _MOOMMY_! (falls over crying)

Author- Uh... Ok, Majora's unconscious and Oni's in fetal position... Kari, let's check my fanfiction account, I want to see if I got any new reviews...

Kari- Alright, (pulls up a chair by computer desk)

Oni- (able to stand while wincing) You're computer ain't nothin' compared to my hard drive... Mine is bigger than 3.5 inches and it _ain't _floppy.

(Silence)

Author- OMG GROOOSSSS! (smacks with a shoe, Oni falls down again)

Kari- Oh great, he's been reading lame pick-up lines again... (rubs head, disturbed)

Majora- Er... Oh my head... What the h3ll happened?

Oni- You were **gang-banged**.

Majora- WHAT!?

Author- Yeah right! Kari and I were on the computer the whole time! But... (devilish grin) I can't guarantee the fan girls were locked out.

Majora- **_NOOOO_**!! (death cry, falls silent) ... Now I gotta go get tested with HIV and aids, great... just great... (sits Indian style) What the heck are you two doing?

Author- Just kidding, no one touched you while you were asleep, well, Oni might have fell on you when we kicked him but...

Majora- what? You kicked him and you didn't film it?

Kari- _Calm down_, I got it right here... (hands film) He keeps saying weird things...

(Knock, knock!)

Author- ... Who the heck could be here at this time of night? (walks over to bedroom door) Ello? Who is it?

?- It's the pizza man

Author- Huh? Oh yay! (opens door)

Majora- Wait... we didn't...

Kari- Order... any pizza...

?- THIS IS A STAND UP! (grabs author) Gimme your money! (pulls out gun)

Kari- HOLY-

Majora- SHT-

Oni- **NUGGETS**!

Everyone but Oni- (Stares at Oni)

?- A-Anyway... Throw your money on the floor in front of me or the girl gets it!

Majora- Go ahead and blow her brains out, I'm keeping my money... (grabs magazine, starts reading)

Author- WHAT!? **You Bstard**! Your pay is so coming down after this!!

Majora- What are you saying? You don't pay me anyway.

Author- ... (sniffle) _Touché_... Pwease lend me some money? (puppy eyes)

Majora- ... (throws a penny)

Author- Bstard...

Oni- NOOOoooOO! Don't _hurt_ Senorita Author Lady! She lets me do funny things in the series and brings me Donuts! Take the rupees! (annoying chime as Oni throws them at the masked dude.)

Kari- **Why the heck** are you in the house? Robbing a room... That's very smart of you. Sorry, Cassi, I only have two bucks. (throws)

Oni- Wait! Better idea! (gathers money back up and stuffs it into pocket, including kari's two bucks.) I challenge you to... (changes into Tae Kwon Doe outfit) A yo mama battle! (fighter pose) Do you accept!?

?- ... I can't believe you people actually hang out with this guy... I accept! (-fighting music comes on- throws Author into closet, changes into ninja outfit) You may go first, young buck who does not know knowledge!

Oni- ... Wha...? _No matta_! ... (gets drawn as a street fighter character look) Ichi! Ni! San! Sentou! (1) Yo mama so fat, she eats "Wheat Thicks!"

(Crowd: Ooooo, burn!)

?- Agh! Dmn you! (loses thirty hitpoints)

Majora- I've just lost twenty IQ...

?- My momma is not fat! (flips back, punches air) Yo mama is so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind!

Oni- E GASP! NOT THE YO MAMA IS SO STUPID JOKE! (loses twenty lifepoints) Haha! I still have eighty lifepoints left! You fail! My turn... Ka... me... ha... me... ha... HA! YO MAMA IS SO UGLY, WHEN SHE WALKS DOWN THE STREET, PEOPLE ARE LIKE: "WHOA! IS IT HALLOWEEN ALREADY?"

?- AHHHH!! (loses fifty hit points)

Kari- What... the... heck...?

?- You give me **no **choice...! Secret technique! Yo mama no jutsu! (poof of smoke) Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age and she died!

Oni- What!? NOOO! NOT MAMA! WHY!? (cries, loses sixty life points) I will... I will finish this...! ( pulls out electric guitar)

?- W-What? N-No...! That can't be...!

Oni- YO MAMA! (playing heavy metal) IS SO CRAZY! (Fireworks shoot from ground behind him)

Majora- _When the heck_ were those installed?

Oni- THAT WHEN SHE WENT TO THE INSANE ALSYM-

Kari- More importantly, _how the heck_ is the house _not _burning down?

Oni- THEY REJECTED HER BECAUSE THE WHITE JACKETS COULD NOT CONTAIN HER!

?- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- (Five hours later) OOOOO!! (loses all life points, falls on floor, dead, and then disappears)

Oni- Thank you! Thank ya very much! (throws guitar out window) Hey, author lady, the guy with a gun has been owned.

Author- really? Wow that was fast... Wait... WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM!? (room is now black from flames, and yo mama jokes are painted everywhere)

Oni- Uhh... Majora did it!

Author- What!? Of all people Majora! I'm surprised at you!

Majora- Wait, wha- (SMACK!) Ow! WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR WOMAN!? (SMACK!)

Author- YOU RUINED MY ROOM YOU DONKEY! (SMACK, SMACK!)

Majora- DID NOT! (grabs broom and defends self)

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did N-"

Kari- This is gonna go on for a loooong time...

Oni- ... Really? (wraps arm around her) You know how they say skin is the biggest organ of your body? _Not in my case_, want to go in that room and see?

(silence, comprehending...)

Kari- UGH! GROSS YOU-

Author/Majora- The end!

(1)Ichi! Ni! San! Sentou!- One! Two! Three! Fight!

* * *

Credit: I found the yo mama jokes on some random website... I made the last one up, though. XD


	13. TS11: Burning Red

IMPORTANT: Because I know you probably won't read otherwise... I just started my first year of high school, and am taking lots of harsh classes so... Writing will get tough, but I'll keep working hard on bringing you this story... Because I like writing it myself!

- Shortslover911

--

"An errand?" The trees were bare at this time of the year, and a few weeks had passed since the grocery trip. It was grower colder, moister, but the town still retained a balanced temperature of fifty to sixty degrees. In these days, Clock Town wasn't as bustling as usual as many families stayed inside to stay warm. As such, were Kari, Oni, and Grandma Beck.

"My Zora friend..." Grandma Beck began. "He's slightly ill and the ingredients needed to make a healing potion are only found in Clock Town. I already gathered them up so... I just need you to deliver them to him. As for you, Oni, I'd like you to watch out for Kari, make sure no harm comes to her, ya hear?"

"Oi, oi, old hag, no worries there," Oni sat lazily on the couch, and lifted his hand in acknowledgement.

"What? Him? But..." Kari sighed. _The last thing I need is another adventure with this perv... _She gazed at him, and, feeling her stare, he winked her way. "Grandma, what about Hanz?"

"Hanz is going too!"

"What!?" Oni choked, falling from the chair. "No! N-No way! That kid!? Old hag! I'm not going if he's going!!"

"Shaddup!" Whacking Oni like a mole with her wooden walking stick, Grandma Beck shook her head. "It's because you two are uneasy together that I'm doing this. Hopefully, you two can learn to work together by the end of this trip... And... STOP CALLING ME OLD HAG YOU BRAINLESS SCOUNDREL!" _Whack! Smack! Bam! _

"Yeouch! Yes ma'am!!" Oni fled through the front door. _Geezus... You can see where Kari gets it... _He rubbed his head, a goose egg forming.

"Alright Grandma!" Kari waved, and joined Oni outside. "We're meeting Hanz at the South gate, since that's the fastest route to Termina Bay... What's wrong with you?"

"Oh nothing... I wasn't just beat up by some old lady with her stupid freaking cane..." He sniffled, but smiled. "Anyway... Let's go...?" _Not that I'm overly thrilled Hanz will be joining us... I won't be able to try anything with Kari this way... _He held back a sigh. _Then again, Hanz hasn't spoken a word to me since..._

"Oh... Wait a minute!" Kari examined Oni. "Hold on, I'll be right back!"

"??" He watched as she dashed back inside. After a minute or so, she came back out... with a gray scarf. "And that's for..."

"Although you might think it's nice outside," She wrapped it around his neck. "It's still cold enough for you to get sick."

"..." Smiling like the Cheshire cat, he glomped her. "You _DO_ care!!"

"You idiot!" Shoving him away, she folded her arms with a stubborn look. "I just don' want to end up taking care of you because you got a cold, idiot."

"Sure, Kari, sure, whatever you say mi lady," He whistled a tune as they continued a walk, comfortable with the new scarf around his neck. "It's so toasty now... Is how you feel when you wear your own scarf?"

"What, you mean feeling warm even though it's cold?" She cocked her head and shrugged. "Sort of... I mean, I love the cold because at night you can curl up in a blanket and not be too hot but..."

"Blanket? Who needs a blanket? Body heat from cuddling sounds _sooo_ much more pleasant."

"... A-Anyway," She coughed. "Oh! Hanz, hello, are you ready to go?" She smiled, disregarding the event that occurred weeks ago.

"W-What? Y-Yeah..." He dipped his head, a little stunned by her kind greeting. "Let's go then..."

"Kari, I think I'll follow behind by a few meters... That way if anything happens..."

"Actually," Hanz inferred. "I was hopping you'd walk with us... My request to Grandma Beck..." _N-NANI!? _"I want to see how you changed, prove to me you're..." His eyes flickered. "You're not the same guy who took away my sister."

"Hanz..." Kari gasped softly, and then she looked to Oni, and then back to Hanz. Through a conversation in their eyes, Kari was completely unaware of what they were thinking.

_Prove to me you're worthy for Kari. _Hanz narrowed his eyes.

_Gotcha, that'll be easy. _Oni smiled. _Does that mean you're giving her up?_

_H3ll no, _Hanz grinned. _I'm gonna give you a run for your money!_

"I'd like to see that," Oni gave Hanz a high-five, and the group began walking. _What...? _Kari folded her arms. _What did I miss? _"The Zora tribe are pretty friendly, they love performing music for their guests." Oni gave some miscellaneous information. "Unlike Gorons, they're water creatures so we'll have to dive for quite some time in order to get into their habitat. Anyway here afraid of water leeches?"

"Wow..." Kari gazed at him in awe.

"W-What?" His ears turned red, burning up.

"You're being useful! Congrats, Oni!"

"WHA!? So cruel!" Oni stuck out his tongue. "I can be smart when I wanna be!"

"When's that?" Hanz and Kari chorused, and began laughing.

"..." Oni's left eye twitched. "I can see how kind people of Clock Town really are... First, I almost get beat to death with your grandma's ca-"

"What!? You too!?" Hanz gaped. "She always hits me with it when I don't listen to her!"

"She hits me when I call her old hag..."

"Oh..." Hanz placed a hand on his chin. "Guess you deserved it then..." With that comment, Oni sighed, hunching over and letting his arms dangle in front of him: "Yeah, thanks much..."

(Arriving at Great Bay! Hooray! Yay!.. Uh... Day!)

"Isn't there someway to meet the Zoras? I don't think we can hold our breath that long... At least, not Hanz and myself..." Kari examined the long almost never-ending sea. "And we'll get tired of swimming pretty quick too... Hate to say it, but I haven't exercised in awhile..."

"What? Really?" Oni touched the goose bump that was fading away. "I would've never guessed... Are you two forgetting I'm a magician? I can totally handle getting you two there easily!" He grinned. "Now, into the water! Hurry up! Hurry up!" Oni pushed the two Terminans in. Now, chest deep, they stood in cold water...

"And what was the point of that!?" Kari growled, hitting Oni upside the head.

"Owowow!! ... So mean... A-Anyway... It's because my magic is... imperfect... Now, hold still so I make sure you keep those pretty little eyes of yours!"

"W-Wait!! Wha-"

"Un! Dos! Tres! Fishy-ness Dudes, power of the Bay Giant! Tsunami rain, transformation!!" Suddenly, the world started growing a lot bigger... No... They were getting SMALLER!

"W-Wha the h3-" Kari began to shout, but felt her very lips changing and a sickening bone crack that made her want to barf, yet no pain came to her... "O-ONI!! WHAT THE H3LL DID YOU DO TO US!?" She screamed as she fell into the water with a splash.

"Man, you're so hard to understand when you're a fishy..." Oni's hand reached into the water and pulled out Hanz and Kari by their new tails. "No worries, I just turned you into a fish... If that's what you're asking... Awwww! You're so cute as a fishy Kari! I almost wanna putcha inna fish bowl and keep ya!"

"..." With googly fish eyes, she glared at him, but it only made him laugh as he carefully put them back into the water. "_CHOMP_!" Using all her fish strength, she bit onto his finger and he lifted her up, giving her a blank stare.

"I want you to know... You have no teeth. You are a toothless fishy... Wait! You can't hurt me this way! It's a MIRACLE!" He beamed before once again putting her back in the water. "Ok, fish girl and fish dude, f'low me!" He dove headfirst into the water, his arms outstretched in front of himself. Glancing back at them one last time, he smiled again causing Kari to swim up to his face and whack him with her tailfin... Flipper... Thing... _You're so dead after we finish this errand Oni!! _A warning blazed in her eyes, but Oni merely stroked her dorsal fin with one finger. _B-BSTARD! YOU ARE SO...! ... Wait, is that my back? Yes...? OR would the be my stomach... Am I swimming upside down!? What the heck!?_

"_Bloop... Bloop..._" Hanz swished past her, bubbles coming form his mouth like a real fish, but there was shock in his eyes: _Are these the creatures I've been killing all these years...?_

"_Boopp..._" Kari swam back and forth, not sure how to answer. However, ten minutes of swimming proved useful as the Zora home came close into view... Diving into an underwater entrance, once they broke through the surface, a cave of many blues appeared. _Oh wow... It's so pretty..._

"Alright fishes," Oni pulled himself onto the rock, and looked down at them. "I know the Zora dudes pretty well, so hang tight and I'll be back with the stuff... Until then just... Chill..." Walking off, despite their wishes, Oni disappeared from view behind a waterfall.

"Can we... trust him?" In some fishy language, Hanz asked quietly.

"I... Yeah... He'll come back, no worries..."

"Oi! Zangu! Look at all these fish just hangin' here! Let's catch'um for dinner, sound good?" A Zora, blue and fish-like himself, walked up to the ledge. Forgetting she was a fish, she tried speaking... to only get herself caught. "Really fat, should give us lots of meat..." _F-Fat!? I am NOT fat!! B-Bstard! Unhand me at once! _"Let's cook'um up for Boss!"

"Hai!" (1) The other Zora nodded with a smile and swiftly caught Hanz too, taking them off to... somewhere... _NOOO! I DON'T WANNA BE ZORA FOOD! I DON'T WANNA BE A GUPPY STEW! NOT A FILET FISH EITHER!! AHHH! _She flipped back and forth vigorously. _C-Can't... breathe...! Need...! WATER! _She opened and closed her mouth several times. "Geez, I hate seeing them die from suffocation... Too bad fish like them hadn't adapted to air like us..."

"Well, guess our brains were more sophisticated..." _IF YOU WERE SMART, YOU'D SENSE THE PRESENCE OF MAGIC USED ON ME, ASS!_ She shouted in silence, her mind growing panicky with every passing second that lacked air. "Oi, oi! Boss! We brought you some fish! Wanna just eat'um fresh or...?" The room grew blurry, her vision escaping her grasp as well as a mental phase.

"Sure, bring'im here, thanks again Oni... I didn't know you were changing your ways, makes you a little less interesting..." The Zora referred to as Boss, snatched Hanz and Kari, Oni examined the fishes... _Is there something... familiar about them...? _He blinked twice, knowing he forgot something... rather... **IMPORTANT! **"Is there a girl?" Holding the fish over his mouth, Oni's face snapped in shock.

"HOLY SHT DON'T EAT THEM!!" Oni leapt forward, snatching the two fish before rolling to a puddle of water and dropping them in. "H-Hanz! K-Kari! Speak to meh!!.." They merely flopped around, refilling their air supply. "K-Kari, hold on!!" Holding a firm grip on her, he nearly shrieked: "T-Turn them back, from the beings they once were... Turn them back, on my word...!" At first, he only turned Kari back and...

"B-Baka! You nearly got us killed! Y-You...! You..." She was being held by his two arms, but with all the stares her face grew red as she realized something... like... lack of... (Cough, cough) clothing... 'E... EYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" _SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!_

... (A little later)

Closing the door behind her, she bit her lip, redness still present in her cheeks. Luckily, Oni was still talking in the other room... And Hanz was turned back to normal in another room, in fear of a repeat of her misfortune... Slight tears were in her eyes, the embarrassment was almost intolerable as she wobbled over to the room where Oni's voice came from.

"I can't believe it..." She gulped, not wanting to go in. She wanted... to go home, and flee to her loving bed and lock the door for eternity. _W-Why me...? Of all people...? _Her inner voice was cracking, which only made her imagine how she'd sound if she tried talking. A lump in her throat formed as she lid down the side of the wall, hugging her knees. _I-in front of... h-him... and them... a-and... _She sniffled, tears beginning to skim down her cheeks.

"Kari?"

"Eh!?" She jerked her head up, but had some relief to see Hanz. Yet... _H-He saw... too...! _As the tears popped like popcorn, Hanz gawked, dashed over, and patted her shoulder.

"D-Don't worry Kari! I didn't see! I was still a fish, remember?" His voice sounded sincere... "When you transformed, and I saw your back, I quickly looked away! Honest, I swear on our friendship!"

"B-But..." She pressed two hands on her temples. "Them..."

"If they say anything, I'll beat'um up! Or... Get beat up trying," Hanz smiled, and caused her to laugh, small, though. "Ha, you see? Nothing is that bad... And no one back at home will know this, I promise! And you know I've never broke a promise... Well, except the time these kids smoking said they were gonna rob Old Yama's bank... But that was for the better good!"

"Y... Yeah, I know," She sighed. "I just... I just wish... I could disappear right now..."

"Disappear? Why? You should've seen the red marks you put on Oni's face! Three! Two on the left, one on the right! If he says anything else, make the redness even!" Hanz punched his knuckle into his other hand's palm.

"Right, let's go insi-"

"Alright, see ya later! Don't get sick anymore or I'll beat your immune system into shape ya hear!?" Oni exited the room, waving good-bye to the old friend with a wide grin. "Oi, oi! We're ready to go right? Let's avoid the fish and just swim for it, now, ok?"

"Yes..." Hanz dipped his head, but Kari grew silent and her head drooped to avoid his face.

"...?" Oni cocked his head, but let if go, just in case she might hit him if he asked. "Let's go then... We can take the front entrance this time, but be on the look-out for like likes... Hate the dmn leeches..."

--

(1)Hai- Yes (Japanese)

--

Author Notes- First day of School... I expect writing will be harder since I'm taking all honors and AP... Now that Kari feels weird about Oni, what'll happen? And what about the mysterious Kentos? ... Dun dun dun...

Majora- What? You're smart enough to take all those classes? I would've never known!

Author- Shut up! (Whacks with stick) With how stupid you are in the Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask, I wouldn't have guessed you were an evil wizard! I mean, seriously, giving Link Oni's mask!! He totally PWNed you with it!

Majora- I didn't do it... Blame the moon children...

Author- Who represent your conscious. Wait... That means you have the intellect of five kids?

Majora- ...

Oni- Ooooo Burn!

Majora/Author- Oni, you have the mind of infant, excluding your perverseness.

Oni- (sniffle) Well you don't have to say such mean things... (Cries) Kari! You don't think I'm stupid, do you...!?

Kari- ... (runs away)

Oni- Hic (sniffle) huc... You guys are so mean... (Goes into emo corner, cries)

Author- Do you think we were a little too harsh on him?

...

Everyone but Oni- Nah.

Majora- I think if you were harsh on any one, you might wanna go have a girl talk with Kari...

Author- G-Girl talk!? (Stutters) I don't know how to!!

Majora- ... (sigh) Alright, I will... But you're coming with. (Drags off by collar)

Oni- Umm... Hello...? (Studio falls completely black) Anybody?


	14. TS12: Only God

"Kari? You're still in bed...?"

"S... Sorry Grandma, I'll make breakfast right away..."

"..." The old woman gave a soft sad look, concerned about her grand-daughter. "Are you sure yo..." Yet, she dropped it, some things were better left alone... After all, no one would want their seventy year old grandma pestering them...

It was growing colder and colder, and thin layers of ice were beginning to appear on the grass that had begun making a transition to an ugly brown. Dying out, the trees were completely bare now as winter was a few days away, and the first snow was bound to come a few days before. The sky grew gray, almost as if the very liveliness of the earth was dying off, it seemed to almost go into hibernation like a bear. Today, was just another day... Yet... the situation had remained the same.

(One week ago, a few days after getting back.)

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Kari!" Oni cheered as he came out of his room, stretching a fist into the air. "Hiya, how are you today?"

"... F..." The words just didn't come, and she dipped her head, continuing to fry bacon.

"..." Oni frowned, but said nothing more...

(Three days ago)

"..." Kari held onto a basket of flowers, the last batch of the season. Taking swift strides toward the flower shop, she would be closing up till spring today...

"..." Secretly following, Oni hid behind a rock, waiting for her to pass enough before... _Spring! _Pouncing forward, Kari took an extra fast step and Oni ended up face first in a pile of leaves. "Darn it! You're getting really good Kari! ... Kari?" She continued without a word, her head lowered conspicuously. "Kar... i...?

(And now to present)

"... Huuu..." She sighed, putting out a few plates of pancakes and three glasses of orange juice, setting the table in a disturbing silence. From the hallway, Oni and Grandma Beck watched stealthily, hiding to show only their eyes.

"She's been like this since..." Oni sulked.

"Since the assignment I gave you three..." Grandma Beck noted. "Did something happen? Did Hanz and yourself fight or something...?"

"No... I don't know... Maybe something I did...? The only things I remember was turning her into a fish in order for us to cross the ocean to the Zora place... Would she be mad about that...?" Oni pouted, unhappy from her change.

"What? No, no, she would never get uptight over stupid small things... The last time is saw her this way was..." Grandma Beck folded her arms. "... was... when she was six about kissing this one boy..."

"Hah?" Oni gaped, the image of a young kissing Kari was way too distant.

"She liked him... but then he didn't like her... and the whole kids at school out-casted her except Hanz... When she came home, she was in tears and tears... She hated him, all boys... She was so embarrassed... She gets like this when she's embarrassed..."

"..." An image suddenly flashed in Oni's mind. The Zora cavern. The Boss's room... Turning back from fish... _Aw... sht... _He smacked his forehead. "Ya know, this might be my fault so... I'm gonna take care of this problem, what do I do?"

"Well for starters you don't do what you did!!" Grandma Beck whacked him sternly. "Keep talking to her, keep asking her what's wrong! She hates when people worry about her... If all else fails... Use honey."

"H-o-n-e-y? Honey? Are you serious?"

"She... _loves _fresh bees' honey. Her mother used to feed her it when she was two... even though she doesn't remember, that fondness remains. Ok? Now you get working after breakfast, got it!?" _KERACK! _

"Ouch! Ok! Ok! STOP HITTIN' ME ALEADY!"

(After breakfast!!)

"Kari, go with Oni and head to the forest lake... I need water from there..."

"Grandma, I can go alone..."

"N-No!" Grandma Beck hit her on the head. "There have been sightings of weird creatures in the forest..." She lied. "I want Oni with you for your protection..."

"Very well..." Kari dipped her head, and headed out the door with a pail.

"Ok, I eased her into the situation, it's up to you knucklehead," Grandma Beck tapped Oni's shoulder, who nodded.

"Ok.. Wish me luck old hag! And thanks!" Oni waved, dashing after the strange-acting girl. "Guess you're stuck with me, huh Kari?"

"..."

"I'll hold the bucket once we get water, that way it won't be a load..." Oni rubbed his neck. _So... Uncomfortable... This aura... is scary... _He gulped, fearing a kick or two to the groin. "S-So... Uhh... Nice day out? The wind is kinda nippy but it's still cool though... What do you think?"

"..."

"..." He sighed, a blank stare developing on his face. _Tactic number one: Talking- it doesn't work. Let's try number two... _"If you don't use that mouth of yours... It'll end up stop moving, should I help you?" He smirked, but quickly flinched, raising his arms for a shield.

"..."

"..." His posture relaxed. _Tactic number two: Acting natural... Didn't work... Maybe verbal won't work... _He stretched. _You know what, screw this, I'm using my way! _"Kari," He grabbed her hand, pulling her back and causing the bucket to fall with a loud metal clang. "Why won't you speak to me? And every time I try saying something to you, you lower your head!" He didn't mean for it, but his voice was coming off mad yet... He sort of was inside. "Ever since that stu-"

"It wasn't stupid!" She yelled, raising her head to reveal tears and a blushing face. "You don't know how it made me feel...! You don't know anything...!" She began crying, slumping to the ground and curling up. "You don't understand anything...!"

"K-Kari..." His mouth opened, to a something more, but they shut. "You should know that was nothin'! Think of how stupid I act, it's not like I sat there and drooled over you, geezus! Respectively, I hurried up and let you go... And um... Yeah..."

"Then what did I feel poking my side...?" She shot him a dirty look.

"A-Aha... Ahaha..." A sweat bead dripped down his temple. "That would be what some would call... getting... 'excited." He flashed a cheesy smile, his ears burning up. "I'm a guy... you're a girl... It's just... discovery channel stuff..."

"... Nice explanation, idiot..." She gave him a long empty stare.

"There we go! That's sounding like the Kari I know!" Oni beamed, and patted her on the head. "You're lucky, actually... I didn't see you soul."

"My _what_?"

"Your soul..." Oni smiled, sitting on the ground. "I saw the shell... but I didn't see the willful cheering girl. I saw... an empty ghost, embarrassed, and hurt. Although... I would've preferred the actual you... I like the real Kari. I don't like this Kari. It's almost painful to admit but... I like the Kari who hit me more."

"..." She watched him, trying to learn more by examining his eyes. "You really are messed up... Idiot..."

"Hehe, I'm the idiot, but you're the cutie," He gently kissed her forehead. "That's why I stick around ya."

"You..."

"Yes, my dear?"

"WHAT THE H3LL WAS THAT!?" She shoved him away. "That was terrible for the situation!! A kind pat on the back would do just fine!"

"Oh really? A pat on the back just ain't my style," He grinned, and an inner sigh of relief washed over his body. "And uh... Sorry if I... uh... did... stare... for..." His eyes fell below her face, causing her to clasp to hands on his temples and forcing him to look only at her face.

"Keep your eyes up here, dummy, and I think I may forgive you over time."

"May? Over time? How long will that be?"

"I dunno, a few penalty hits later," She stood up, grabbing the pail. "Let's hurry and get this water, and get back." As she began walking away, his eyes once again began falling. "Eyes up."

"O-Oh! Y-Yes! Sorry!" He laughed nervously, racing after. "But no penalty kicks to um... You know, I won't be able to have kids if you keep doing that."

"What? Yeah right, you're a _god_ Oni, I think you can handle it," A dagger-full look fell his way as his eyes yet again starting moving out of place.

"I-I'm sorry! It's so hard!! Come on man, I'm only a _god_!" He contradicted, and decided to focus his eyes ahead. "Ok, if I do it again, slap me... Wait, lightly though! My cheeks are still sore from last time..."

"What if I hit you gently on the head?"

"Ah, yeah, that might work... Wait! Why am I debating over my punishment!? Not right! So not right!" Oni shook his head. "You're causing my mind to go blank..."

"I want... to get married someday..."

"Huh? What the heck? Where does that come from?"

"I..." Kari frowned. "I don't think guys like me because of how I am... And they never have... The only friends I've had were Hanz and Saluse.. I want to get married, and have kids, and grow old... but... I don't think I will at this rate..."

"What the crap? How long have you been thinking about _THAT?_"

"Since I... oh my god! I seriously just said that out loud didn't I!?" She gawked, "Forget it! Forget! So not important!" She sped up her pace.

"Oh, no worries! If worse comes to worst, I'll marry you!"

"Oh yeah? _Suuuuure!_"

"What? I'm serious!"

"Stop teasing me, it's not funny!"

"Teasing? Now's _there's_ a subject I'd like to get into."

"Aghhh! Just shut up!"

* * *

Author Notes: Not so funny, my mind is kinda blank... If anyone has funny suggestions you'd like to see in this story, leave them in your reviews... Anyway... They made up... yada yada...

Oni- Yay! Yipee! (dancing)

Majora- I seriously thinks he likes you, Kari. (folds arms) He even made up the line about marrying you.

Kari- Nani? No way! He wouldn't like me... (thinking: I wish!)

Majora/Author- (looks at each other) I hate these cases...

Kari/Oni- Cases?

Kentos- Terrible cases...

Everyone: HUH? WHO DA HECK ARE YOU?

Kentos- A terrifying... new character...

Majora- Oh, real scary there. Wonderful ways of staying secretive... What the heck is with all the stupid characters, baka? (hits Author)

Author- ouch! Hey! Leave the bashing to Oni! I merely needed a new threat to Oni and Kari and Clock Town, and Termina, and-

Kari- So forth...

Oni- Ola a new character! What's your name!?

Kentos- Bob... Bob… the builder...

Everyone: (GASP!)

Author- N... No... Not... (backing away)

Majora- The evil of all evil... (gulp, also backing away)

Kari- We should all... go... finish those props we needed yeah! To the paint lab!

Everyone but Kentos and Oni: Yeah! (runs off)

Oni- ... I know a bob, and I guess he is kind of a builder...

Kentos- ... Wtf?

* * *

Description:

Kentos- Until further notice, he is never seen due to a cloak, hood always up with yellow piercing eyes. He's young, but at least twenty-two... As far as you can tell from two long strands of hair hanging out the cloak, he has long navy blue hair...


	15. TS13: Unspeakable Words

_**Unspeakable Words**_

"Is it he's that idiotic... and does he not sense my presence? Could his mind be so focused on her that...? Or does he know I'm here, but refuses to instigate anything... Nah, doesn't seem like his type..." Kentos, hidden in the forest branches above, rested on one dignified branch, his legs dangling. "What an idiot... How can this guy actually be a problem to Boss's plans...? Hu, hu, hu, no sense at all... Too bad I couldn't toy with him a bit to draw out his true ability... Otherwise, this guy will so boring... Wait... Who says I can't?" A smirk formed on his face. "Or will you stop me, Osa?"

"Hm, at least your senses haven't declined at all," A woman appeared from nowhere, just suddenly fading into the area, standing on a thick limb net to him. "You know Boss would have your neck if you disobeyed..."

"Nah, no one would know..." Kentos stood up. "Unless you told on me, would you rat me out, Osa?" Kentos smiled slightly, his old friend would remain on his side forever, it seemed.

"..." Osa frowned, folding her arms. "No..." She returned a soft smile. "But don't get too cocky, he is the fierce deity, after all..." She twiddled her hands, not looking at him straight in the eye.

"I know," Kentos nodded. "But that's what makes him interesting. I'm bored of these pointless assassinations. It's time I... got my slice of heaven, don't you think?" Jumping from the branch, he landed with a thud on the ground, but quickly rose to his feet.

"..." Osa sighed, unable to not worry about her friend.

"Osa, you shouldn't hang out in these areas..." Kentos remarked, not looking at her as he walked away. "You know Boss will be mad if you don't keep surveillance in your specified area... Don't get yourself in trouble for me, got it?"

"Y..." She grinned. "Yeah. Don't get yourself killed though, because I don't wanna take time from my schedule to bury you!"

"Yeah yeah, I hear ya... Stop getting on my tail..."

(Switching!)

"..." Oni paused for a moment, a disturbance in the air making the hair on the back of his neck rise. _Well, well, well, seems I've got myself a little fan... Wonderful... _He sighed.

"Oni? Are you ok?" Kari asked, stepping carefully over an overgrown root.

"Ye- AHHH!" Oni fell flat on his face, he hadn't stepped over the root so carefully from zoning out. "Owowow... Man, even the trees hate me..."

"... You _really_ need to pay attention to where you walk, I'm surprised you can even manage getting dressed in the morning!"

"Nani...? I'm not a big baby..." Oni rubbed his head. "Although, I have to say, getting undressed is easier for me." He smirked, keeping the atmosphere as natural as possible, and his eyes had stopped their bad habit of falling down her body. "Or getting others undressed."

"And I don't need to know anything more," Kari pressed her palms over her ears. "Sorry I started the subject."

"Nope! I'm completely fine talking about it!" He beamed, flashing a big grin as he hugged her from behind, it was becoming a habit. "Want me to show ya?"

"..." She froze up, tomato faced, which was actually unexpected. Turning her around to face him, he blinked twice:

"Kari?"

"..."

"Hello?" Poking her forehead once or twice, he mouthed a 'wow.'

"..."

"Wakey-wakey Kari-bakey, I doubt you want me to carry you home to my room, do you?" His face neared hers. "Or is this your way of saying yes?" He moved even more forward, and his lips neared hers...

"YEAH RIGHT BUCKO!" Smacking him upside his head as she moved away, she folded her arms, irritably. "You really know nothing of personal bubbles do you?" She then massaged her forehead, eyebrow twitching agitating-ly.

"I think of it like this..." Oni made a circle with his hands. "Since everyone shares... Your bubble," He pointed to her, "is my bubble." Pointing to himself, his lips curved into a playful smirk. "Or should I just say bubbles are meant to be broken? Or that bubbles collide... Or... Hm, I'm running out of bubble combination sentences... A-ha!" He snapped his fingers and held up one, scientifically. " Mi burbuja es tu burbuja." (1)

"??"

"I'm saying..." He tapped her nose lightly with a finger. "... in some other sense... I'm completely yours."

"..." Her eyes went a little wide, and her mouth opened to say something, but, instead, she turned away, and continued walking. "Weirdo... You don't tell people that. Especially not to a girl..."

"What? You'd expect me to tell a guy?" His mouth nearly dropped. "I am _sooo_ sorry, but I do _not _roll that way..."

"Really? When you wear those tights, I would've never guessed!" She laughed.

"Leggings..." He muttered under his breath, left eye twitching. "But..."

"But what?"

"But... Ahh... ACHOO!" He sneezed loudly, nearly causing Kari to jump from her skin from being startled. "WHOA! I felt like I sneezed my brain out!"

"Don't worry, you don't have a brain to lose..." She teased, raising an eyebrow, but shaking her head. "Just like I thought, it's too cold out here. You're face is all red and..." Placing the backside of her hand against his forehead, she sighed. "Fever..."

"Really? So this is what it feels like to be sick... I don't feel that bad though! C'mon, let's hurry home!"

(Home, later)

"Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! Oh god..." He coughed, clenching his blanket tightly as he rested on the couch. "Terrible... My brain... feels like someone is beating it with a baseball bat..."

"Well _maybe_ you should've worn warmer clothes like I suggested, stupid..." She exhaled noisily, bringing a bowl of soup. "This is the family's recipe of chicken noodle soup, Grandma Beck always gave it to me when I was sick so... I figure it'll work well."

"If it's chicken noodle..." Oni took the bowl, but hesitated to eat it. "Why does it lack chicken? And Noodles? And what are those green things..."

"Stop analyzing it and just eat it!" She went to hit him over the head, but stopped herself. "You're lucky you're sick..." As he lifted it to his mouth, she remembered to add, "Also, it's gonna taste kinda... bitter... so..." With this comment, he once again paused to take a sip. "You try some."

"W... What...?" She gaped, terrible memories of the taste afflicting her mind. "O... Ok..." _I'll just pretend to drink it... Like I always did when Grandma made tomato soup..._ She thought.Taking the bowl, she pressed the edge against her lips and tipped it up, simulating her taking a sip. "Oh wow, it's not as bad as I normally remember..." She lied, completely unaware of how it tasted. "You're lucky; I think I forgot to use the Woodfell herbs."

"..." Oni took the bowl back, yet once again wavered between the decision of having some or not. Finally, turning the bowl and sending her a smile in his eyes, he took a sip exactly where her lips had been on the bowl, making her eyes widen half a centimeter. Suddenly, as Kari expected, his cheeks puffed up, preparing to spit out the soup. _Clamp! _She pressed two hands over his mouth, forcing him wave his arms around rapidly.

"Just drink it already! Only one sip and you won't have to take anymore, idiot!"

"...!!" His face grew green, he was gonna burst if he didn't swallow!! So...! He...!.. Did... "WHAT THE H3LL!? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!? THAT SOUP WAS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE OF FRANKENSTEIN FIVE THOUSAND METERS UNDER THE GROUND WITH A WATER LABRINTH OF PIRANAS AND MORPHA FROM THE OCARINA OF TIME!!"

"Well, it certainly seems like it's working..." Kari pointed out with a smirk. "And... uh, Oni? Frankenstein doesn't exist. Neither can we bury people that deep in this time and period. Nor does Morpha exist yet."

"... Well..." Oni puffed up his face. "That was awful... And yelling like that only made my head hurt more... Ow-wow-wow..." He sunk back under the covers. "Get me an ice bag..."

"...Eh?" She raised a brow, a very "izzat so" attitude showing on her face. "I hate to tell you thi- Actually; I love to tell you I'm not your servant anymore Mr. lazy pants!!"

"... But you're a kind caring girl aren't you?" He flashed a tried smile. "Now, be a dear and _please_ can you get me a bag of ice?"

"..." She sighed. "Fine..." While she walked into the kitchen, and attained some ice, Oni rolled back and forth, causing the blanket to roll around him snugly. "What are you... Wait, do I even wanna know?"

"It's so warm...!" Oni chirped. "It's really comfy since it's cold outside... I like warmth.. You?"

"N... Nani?" Kari sat down on the living room's center table, handing Oni the bag of ice along with a newly wetted rag. "Warmth...? It's... nice... I guess, when it's cold... But I have my favorite kind of warmth." He didn't turn to face her- pretending not to really care- but was actually interested in her statement. "I like the warmth you get when you're with friends or family!" She grinned. "When Grandma Beck and I go on walks every now and then, we have the greatest times and we always end up laughing about stupid mistakes or things I did when I was little. When I hang out with Hanz, we're always able have tons of fun... and... When I can have some time to spare around you..." _What...? I'm included in this mushiness? _His ears twitched, intrigued. "... When we walk throughout town, even though I appear stressed... You're more like a stress reliever. Not serious at all... Always coming up with corny comments..." _... Am I supposed to be happy about this? _He remained silent, but gained a vacant gaze. "But... That's what I like about you."

"... You said it..." A funny tone worked into his voice.

"Wha...?"

"You said it," He turned, his confident smile returning even with how sick he felt. "Youuuu saaaiiddd... You. Like. Me."

"What!? DID NOT!"

"Did too!"

"I said those qualities I like about you! Not I like you!"

"You said it again and again! Yay! I..." He sniffled, a fake cry, while placing a hand over his heart. However, he then winked and stuck out his tongue. "Feel so accomplished..."

"..." She smacked her forehead, thinking. _This guy... is a complete... i-_

"But no worries, Kari!" He sat up, and in place of cocky smirk came what seemed like an innocent smile with soft eyes. "I. Like. You."

"I... Idiot..." She bit her lip, tightened her hands into fists and looked down at her knees. "You... just don't go telling that to hundreds of people..."

"Eh? I haven't told hundreds of people that!" Oni defended. "What do you take me for, some perve-... Don't answer that." He gave her a silencing look before shaking his head. "I've only told two people... It's all about wording, mi dear! Gosh, I thought you were the smart one..."

"So what are you trying to say?" She had a serious voice, but still didn't look him in the eye.

"W-Well..." His ears burned red and gave off a police car affect as he scratched above his nose. "I'm gonna prove to you... No... I'm gonna show you... No... I'm go- N-

"Hurry up already! You're making the chapter too long!!"

"Alright! Alright! Sheesh! Wording is HARD!.. Geez..." (Cough, cough) "I'm going to be the one that makes you understand... that..." He shuffled from the covers, now letting his legs hang off the edge of the couch while facing her. Lifting her face with a chin, he smiled. "That I'm not staying in Clock Town because my powers aren't fully healed. Or that I'm sick. Or that I'm trying to improve my connections with the villagers... Which, I'm actually doing all those things but... The real reason I'm staying here... is because I don't want to leave you just yet."

"W-... What?" She gasped quietly, butterflies in her stomach seemed to learn kung fu and were beating the crap out of her insides. "You... No... Oni! Listen to me! You have no future with me!" She quickly stood up, backing away and... "N-No one does! B-Because...! No one should have me as a burden, got it!?" She yelled, her voice shaking. "You shouldn't have...!" She hesitated, and instead of finishing the words, she stormed out the front door.

"K-Kari!" Oni jumped to his feet, even if he was weak, one problem had just been solved and for another to spring up...! "Kari!" He trailed her outside, but froze in his tracks. "W-What the!? KARI!" In the grasp of a figure who wore a cloak similar to the grim reaper's, Kari's eyes were wide like those of an animal discovering headlights. "Bstard! Put her down!!"

"Mm.. I'm not sure I want to..." A man's voice came. "Actually, I don't give a dmn about what you want, nor do I care about this girl, unlike you. That said, you want her back, yes?"

"B-Bstard...!" Oni bit his lip.

"We shall duel," The cloaked figure shot his hand out horizontally, and a long whip cracked from inside the cloak's sleeves. "For the sake of this girl. Right here. Right now."

"K... Kari...!" Oni grinded his teeth. "Who are you!? You can't just start a duel witho-"

"My name is Kentos... And I am here to kill you."

* * *

(1) Mi burbuja es tu burbuja- My bubble is your bubble (Spanish attempt)

* * *

Author Notes- I hope you enjoyed the chapter... even if... Well, you know, the constant abductions, yada yada... Anywho! I'm off to school!

Majora- Baka, wait up (hits on head)

Author- Huh? Why should I wait for you!?.. And... Why do you keep hitting me? (sniffle)

Majora- Alright, let's go. I had to get a binder full of paper and pencils tow rite down supply lists for school. (Comes out of room in a school uniform)

Author- W... What the crap? You look... LIKE A PREPPY BOY! HAHAHAHAHA!

Oni- Author lady's school doesn't have uniforms, Majora! (whistling as he walks out in jeans, t-shirt, and a casual hoody) Now let's go!

Author- You guys have got to be kidding, my school. Not you. You people don't even exist!

Kari- Of course we don't! (Comes out in long skirt, hair tied in ponytail, blouse) But...

Majora- That doesn't stop us from ruining your li- I mean, getting an education.

Author- Huh? But you two are millenniums old!! (pointing a long accusing finger) Only Kari could go to school...

Oni- No way! He's a millennium, I'm ten centuries, he's the old geezer!! (Majora: ...) We look eighteen so...

Majora- So that makes us Seniors you lowly freshman. Carry my stuff. (drops books into Author's hands)

Author- What!?... So... cruel... (Realization moment) Wait! Kari can't be a senior!

Kari- But I can be a sophomore.

Author- ... You guys... totally suck...

Majora- It's ok... because you can have... (glances at Oni, who grins)

Oni- THE BIG GAY DANCE! Oom duh oom duh oom duh oo! (dancing)

Kari/Author- Let's... (exchange glances) Yeah, let's just go...

(BIG GAY DANCE CREDIT GOES TO THE CREATOR OF BRAWL TAUNTS AT NEWGROUNDS)

* * *

Actual Author Notes(seriousness): Ok, also, you should check out Keybladeboy's story- Truth or Dare... It's for the legend of Zelda, and it's on my favorites so it should be easy to get to... Um... Majora... Do you think you could...?

Majora- ... (sigh) Fine... (Deep breath) ... GO NOW BEFORE I BASH YOUR BRAINS INTO A MILLION PIECES AND THEN USE A SPOON TO SCOOP THE REMAINS OUT, AND THROW THEM INTO A FOOD DISH FOR RANDOM HOBOS!! (fire surrounding him in a dark oblivion)

Author- ... Hehe... You said hobo...

Majora- Oh really? (glares)

Author- S-Scary... Uh... Can you also.. (quiver) disclaimer... please?

Majora- ... You are really lazy, you know that? (hits upside head) This stupid lazy girl does not own the Legend of Zelda, or any of its characters. Neither does she own the big gay dance or the nerve to stop shaking right now, because she is suffering from Majora syndrome. At this point... (smirks) she is madly is love with me.

Author- WHAT!? WHAT THE H3LL KIND OF CRAP IS THAT!? (brings out broom, Majora runs away) Yeah! You betta run, coward! Get back here and face your punishment bstard!!


	16. TS14: Battle of Idiots

"Ght!" _Dmn... it! He's good! He's no average Joe... Or am I just weak from being sick...? Sht... _He grinded his teeth, his forehead covered in sweat even it was chilly outside. His face was red, fatigue building up like a stack of legos but Oni only had so long before the tower grew too tall and stumbled over... Him along with it. _And he's able to fight... while holding onto Kari! Who IS this guy!?_

"You seem tired," Kentos landed on the peak of a large gray stone nearby, an arm still wrapped around Kari's mouth. "... Judging by appearance, I couldn't of picked a better time, you're sick... But that's no fun."

"Bstard...!" Oni panted, the fact he couldn't hide it anymore disturbed him. "What do you want!?"

"... Huu..." Kentos sighed. "I wanted a good battle, but boss wanted me to capture this girl..." Suddenly, Kentos appeared behind him, a long curved sword pressed against Oni's neck, causing a slight trickle of blood to ooze. "You're not strong enough as is. So..." Jumping to Oni's other side, his front, Kentos put the blade away. "Come to my lord's lair when you're not sick, I'd like to fight the fierce deity at full power..."

"Oh yeah!? And how the h3ll am I supposed to know where that is!?" Oni yelled, but his eyes kept on Kari, who was trembling. _D-Dmn it! _Oni scolded himself, he couldn't save her..!

"On the full moon in three days..." Kentos took a few steps back. "Head to the mountains and you'll find a large spring surrounded by cherry blossoms. At midnight exactly, you should be able to find yourself rushing in to save this girl... However, if you don't show, we won't hesitate to slice her little pretty neck; my leader has quite the hobbies. Well... I'd like to say 'it's been fun' but I don't really think I had fun. You bore me... so... Good-bye Fierce Deity." _SWOO!_ An eerie wind blew and a small tornado engulfed the stranger, hoisting him into the air and carrying him away.

"K-Kari!" Oni began running forward, but his legs collapsed under him and he fell to the ground. "Dmn it! Kari! Kariii! KARII!" _Stupid...! Stupid idiot! If I hadn't told her... that...! Maybe she wouldn't of ran outside and...! Baka! Baka! Baka! _If he had the strength, his fist would be smashing into his face... but then, the world was tainted black as his eyes fell to exhaustion, and he fell unconscious...

(Later!)

"Oni? Onnni? Lazy god? Fierce Deity? Man! Grandma Beck! You weren't kidding, at this rate; he'll never wake-up! And where's Kari? Can't she help us wake him up?"

"I... I haven't heard from her... Oh!"

"..." Oni bitterly opened his eyes, defeat on his face as clear as shame. Lifting himself up, he began to move from the bed, he would go now. He would not wait for some full moon; Kari might not be alive in three days...!

"Woah! Back in bed!" Hanz and Grandma Beck forced him to the soft blankets. "What's your hurry?" Hanz cocked his head, folding his arms, and raised an eyebrow.

"Kari..." Oni reached a hand up to the door. "Bstard... Took her...!" It felt like a dagger was slit across his gut, and everyone spilled out. "I couldn't save her! Kentos took her away to some lair! And in three days I have to go and save her!" Clenching his fists, he tried to ease the pain that came with every word. "Don't you see!? I was too weak to save her!!" He shouted at the two, rage flickering in his eyes. "Kari! Is! Gone!"

"W... WHAT!?" Hanz gawked. "How the h3ll did this happen!? Explain now!!" Grabbing Oni by the collar, Hanz shook him. "Tell me now! Who took her!? When!? Where!? Why!? TELL ME NOW!!"

"Hanz! Oni! Knock it OFF!" _KERACK! CRACK! _The cane of justice came down on the two like a fallen tree trunk, and both stood there, dazed. "Oni, now calmly explain to us what happened!"

"Y... Yeah..." Oni rubbed his head, wincing from the blow. "Well, it sort of started when I..."

(After explanation!)

"So let me get this straight..." Hanz sat down on a wooden stool. "After you confessed to Kari... she rushed out the house..." His fists tightened. "And this Kentos guy... grabbed her. Then, you battled, lost, and he left with her...?"

"Yes..." Oni held his head low, ashamed by such an easy defeat.

"You idiot!! How could you have been so weak!? You're the fierce deity!! How could you not save her!?" Hanz shook Oni back and forth. "You were so weak you lost to a human!! WHAT KIND OF GOD ARE YOU!?"

"THE KIND THAT DOESN'T APPRECIATE BEING SHAKEN LIKE SOME RAG DOLL!" Oni shoved Hanz away. "What kind of friend are you!! We should be concerned about Kari right now!?"

"I AM CONCERNED ABOUT KARI!!" _PUNCH! _"So concerned that I wonder: DID YOU JUST LET THIS KENTOS TAKE HER WITH EASE!? IS HE AN ACCOMPLICE!? ARE YOU GOING TO KILL KARI LIKE YOU KILLED SALUSE!?"

"I DIDN'T KILL SALUSE!! AND I WORK ALONE! AND I WOULD NEVER WANT KARI DEAD ANYWAY! HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!" _Kick! _

"Because you're a murder!!" _Punch, punch, kick!_

"And you're a terrible friend!!" _Dodge, dodge, smack!_

"AND YOU TWO ARE BOTH IDIOTS!!" Grandma Beck's thunderous voice brought them to silence as she threatened them with her cane held up over their heads. "Hanz! Oni has been sick, and his strength isn't at its strongest! Besides, hasn't he proved to us he's Kari's friend!? And Oni!" Grandma Beck shrieked just after Oni stuck out his tongue. "Hanz has known Kari much longer then you, so their brother sister relationship is tight! Of course Hanz is concerned about her! WE ALL ARE!"

"..." Oni and Hanz winced from her yelling, and looked at each other with an apology on their faces.

"At this moment..." Grandma Beck sighed. "Oni, with your powers, it'll be easier for you to save Kari... However, Hanz is no push-over, either. This is why... In three days, I want the two of you to both head to the lair and save Kari... Two heads are better than one."

"... Yeah..." Hanz nodded. _Although, in this situation, _He secretly thought, _I feel like brain count is one... _He glanced at Oni. _He's strong but... I'll have to be the brainy one in this rescue..._

"Grandma Beck, I think we'd better leave the brainy stuff to Hanz... I may not be totally stupid, but I feel more comfortable just smashing things around..."

"!?" Hanz gaped. _He admitted it!? He's completely serious about this, I guess... He really didn't ask for this, did he?_

"Alright... Then it's settled. For now, though, you two will rest up, especially you Oni. I will go into town and buy two horses for you to use... Hanz, make Oni turkey soup." Leaving the house, Hanz and Oni glanced at each other.

"Um... I'll flat out say it now: It's worse than the chicken noodle soup."

"... It gets worse?"

(Switchy POVS!)

"Nani!? Let me go!" Kari clenched her teeth, the requests she was asking was most likely impossible for him, but it just kind of escaped from her lips.

"Oi? Let you go? Well..." The scenery had changed. From the green forests of Clock Town to a dark grungy castle surrounded by dead woods, it seemed Kentos was bringing her to the audience chamber, as expected. As a large wooden door came into view, Kentos kicked it open, strolled forward into the room it hid, and threw Kari onto the ground. "Wish granted."

"Ght!" Kari flinched as cold tile slapped against her limbs. "B... Bstard...!" She winced; she would have bruises from that later, definitely. "... This is..." Her eyes following the strange room's designs, led her to a throne where a figure sat, his torso and up in darkness. "You! Why did you bring me here!? Who are you!?"

"Funny you should ask... Little Kari." Emerging from the shadows, Kari gasped:

"N-No!!.. Y-... You!?"

* * *

Author: Really short chapter... I wanted to end it just like that so... Chapter end!! ... Phew! Man, my back! And hands!

Majora- I understand back pains from the chair you're sitting in, but typing doesn't hurt.

Author- No... But after practicing on the piano for awhile, IT DOES! (storms over to a box of donuts)And it's been hard getting ideas... as well as time to sit down and write with school work! And I haven't even gotten into the school year much... I'm gonna die... DIE DONUT DIE! (bites down on donut and tears its "head" off.)

Majora- ... That's not weird at _all_. (snatches up plain donut quickly) Hey... Where are Oni? And Kari? They're... not here... (suspicious glance) You didn't do anything to them... Did you?

Author- No! If I was gonna hurt someone first, it'd be you! (whack) I told Kari to go get pizza and Oni... (opens curtains) is busy chasing the garbage truck.

Oni- BACK YOU MONSTER! YOU ATE MR. TRASH!! (swinging sword around after truck, who's driver is screaming)

Majora- ... Oh. (shuts curtain, disturbed) Well... we're all alone.

Author- ... And? (narrows eyes)

Majora- (smirks) You know what I mean.

Author- ... YAY! Fanmail!! (drags in huge bag) I never knew we could think alike Majora!! (happiness)

Majora- Umm... Sure... (Totally was thinking something else) I'll get the tally board... (sighs, depressed before pulling out clipboard) Ok. Go on.)

Author- One letter for Oni! It says... _Dear Oni. Why are you trying to kill the garbage truck outside my house?_

Majora- ... We wonder the same things. (tosses letter into fireplace... That doesn't exist)

Author- NEXT!! Hey! A lot of these are for you, Majora! Letter number one... Oh... wow, ew... (quickly pushes letter into Majora's face) Definitely a crazy fangirl.

Majora- (eyes wide, afraid) This one has been stalking me... (gulps, changes into army uniform and hides under bed) If anyone asks for me, I'm not here...

Author- OKEY-DOKEY! La la la la la la la la la...

?- Heeellllo? Is Majora there?

Majora- (gasps, giving author "no" motions)

Author- Hmm... Yeah! He's here! And he's doing charades! Come on in! (opens door only to be run down by a crazy mob of Majora fangirls)

Majora- (gets mauled, and... other... things... -Cough,cough-) LORD B GEEZUS! SAVE MEEEE!! (gets carried off, tied to a pole, clothing torn)

Author- What? You're going on vacation? COOL!

Majora- NO! SAVE ME YOU IDIOT!!

Author- You're getting married!? ZOMG You have to invite me!!

Majora- AHHHHHHHHHHH! (disappears off in the horizon)

Kari- (back with pizza) You heard what he said, didn't you?

Author- ... Maybe.


	17. TS15: Preparation

"Do you think he will come?" A quiet yet polite voice echoed, out of place in the malicious castle. "Perhaps they were just friends, would he really take the risk of sacrificing himself over her? I've heard the Fierce Deity is quite... selfish..."

"Nani? Baka!" A light fist came down upon the voice's owner. "The fierce deity was already destroyed by the four giants once in order to help the world but... They gave him another chance, Osa." Another being responded in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Another chance? Huh? For what, Kentos?"

"Because... He fell in love with her." Kentos thought of the words escaping his lips. Zoning out, Osa's gasp seemed to echo far away.

"Really? Oh wow! Kawaii!! You know... I'm starting to think we're the villains..." This snapped him from the brink of nothingness as he gave her a "are you serious" stare.

"And you're just getting that?"

--

"Baka!"

"Ow! What was that for!?"

"You have no coordination or battle plans whatsoever do you? You can't just storm in there! Considering how your abilities haven't even completely been restored..." Hanz smacked his forehead, straightening himself after retreating from the sword chance. "You really aren't god-like much, are you?"

"EH?" Oni raised a brow before spitting saliva to the ground with attitude. "I was just sick! Besides... It's not like I control my power levels..."

"Yeah, I can see that."

"... You're really an ass underneath the mask aren't cha?"

"..." Hanz narrowed his eyes sharply, giving a firm stare close to a hawk's gaze on fresh prey. "Sorry if I've hardened up over losing my sister, and now my best friend." Throwing his sword to the dirt, Hanz clenched his fists as he sauntered off, a very disturbed aura around him.

"... Huu..." Oni sighed. "Maybe I should start watching what I say... Huh? Who am I kidding? It's HIS fault for being too serious!" Oni's mystical two-metal blade vanished into thin air and he stormed over to the riverbanks, examining the ice overtaking the surface. "And why are we even training in the freezing cold? We'll just get sick- again- and then we won't be able to help Kari at all! ... Grr..." An agitation swelling up, Oni punched a fist down onto the ice, cracking it straight down the center. "NANI!? What's his problem!! It's not like I haven't dealt with some losses!! I lost Saluse as well! And then Majora! And now I might lose Kari!!.." Wincing before exhaling a cold icy breath, Oni shook the new snow from his hair. "Why am I blamed for this...? It's not like... It's not like I wanted this to happen..." _Saluse... Is it really my fault for your death?_

--

"... Ght..! EYA!" _BOOSH! _The barred door trembled, but held up while blood dripped to the ground. "A-Again! EYA!" _CROSH! _The same reaction occurred, and more ruby water fell to the floor as well as Kari. "Hu... Hu... Hu..." She panted, trying to regain strength but after slamming against the wall hundreds of times, fatigue engulfed her limbs. "I... I won't give up...!" She gritted her teeth as she wobbled to her feet, her arms bonded behind her back.

"Uh-huh, but what about you knock yourself unconscious? Planning on going zombie on the cell door, are we?"

"I wouldn't HAVE-" _BASH! _"To do this if I hadn't been TAKEN-" _FOOSH! _"In the FIRST PLACE!!" She yelled at the troubling enemy, the mysterious. "So! If I have to beat myself up to get out of this DMN PLACE-" _SWASH! _"I'M GONNA DO IT!!" _CRUSH! Thud! _She slumped to the floor, blood seeping through her left sleeve and leaking from her forehead. Panting, her body finally refused to move anymore, she outdid herself... like always...?

"Nice one, I only wish I had a comfy armchair and some popcorn," Kentos smirked, but was quieted by a gentle tug on his sleeve. "Huh? What's up Osa?" _Huh? Oh... Now that you mention it... He's with someone...? _Kari squinted her eyes, getting a better look although the second figure wore a cloak as well.

"We can't be too mean to her, Kentos... She's a guest..."

"... Uh-huh, and what kind of people do you think we are that have guests? We're not some hotel!"

"Ek! I-I know!" Osa gawked, but quickly walked over to the cell. Removing her hood, a young girl (a year or so younger than Kari) with golden curls and shining green eyes smiled. "I'm Osa, you're Kari right?"

"...?" _What is up with this girl? _Kari thought, but slowly sat up. "Yes..." Raising a suspicious brow, she watched her most intently.

"Hehe! It's been awhile since I've been able to speak to a girl my age!" Osa grinned, "Tell me, Kari-san, (1) what do you like to do?" Opening the cell door, Osa slipped in. "I like to play with animals or sit at the beach, you?"

"Uhh..." _Is she psycho or something? Is this a trick...? _Kari glanced at Kentos, but he also had a dismayed face. _No... He's disappointed in this act... Is she just... being... friendly? _"I guess... Uhh... Going on walks... and... I like picking flowers... too...?"

"Oh! Me too! Especially daisies! They're so bright and pretty, like the sun!"

"..." _Oh, I get it. This one has stared at the sun far too long and lost her brain, makes sense to me. _Kari had to hold back a smile. "Really? They match your hair as well."

"Really? I knew it! They're my favorite flower!" Osa continued, clapping her hands together. "At this moment... a rose matches your forehead, do you want help?" _U-Uh oh... What KIND of help? If you plan on letting me out and freeing me... I guess I won't give your face to the sheriff... _"Hold still."

"W-Wait, it's not nessaca-" A bright light flashed in the room, and Kari froze up. Holding her eyes tightly closed, she knew she was dead.

"... Um... Why are you still like that?"

"Wait, what!!" Kari jerked awake, she was fine! Better than fine! Refreshed! The blood was gone, the wounds were missing, and every sign of exhaustion was gone.

"I specialize in healing arts... Do you feel be-"

"O-Osa...!" Kentos interrupted. "Remember! She's not on our side! You shouldn't tell her that stuff! Don't tell her about yourself!" Waving a fist around, he seemed quite firm in these words... until...

"W-What!? But...! She's myyyy friend!" With the cute whine and puppy dog eyes, Kentos turned to an icy statue, stuck in his motions.

"F... Fine... but... N-Not a lot, alright...!!" Kentos bit his lip, folding his arms as if he had come upon the decision without her urging. "But not too many visits! And stay outside the ce-"

"What do you think of puppies? I love puppies!"

"Yes, I suppose they're very cute and dogs are great animals..." Kari answered, unsure.

"Yay! And what about kittens?"

"I like dogs better, but kittens are great companions I guess..."

"Yay! Again!"

"... She's..." Kentos slapped his forehead. "... not even listening to me..." Sighing, he plopped down on a stool, and, from the corner of his eye, watched the two. _She always acts so serious around me... Is this her real side...? How come I've never seen it... _Kentos pondered, feeling slightly left-out as he filled a glass with water.

"I'm not a big fan of dresses though," Osa stated, sitting on the ground and chatting away like she had known Kari her whole life. "Do you like that dress you're wearing?"

"Huh? Well... I mean, it's comfy but... I suppose wearing some pants and a loose shirt would be nice and comfier... I wear plain things, but on special occasions I dress up..." Kari couldn't help but open up to the sweet girl... she was... like talking to a little sister of some sort.

"Like when?"

"Like... Er... Oh! Festivals! Dances! Er... Hm, I suppose weddings too."

"Oooo! Weddings! I love weddings!! ... What's a wedding?" _SPPTT! _The sip Kentos had just taken burst from his mouth.

"O-Osa? You're kidding! You don't know what a wedding is!?" He gaped.

"N... No... Should I?"

"Well, a wedding is..." Kentos began, but lost track of thought. A wedding. Did he even know what a wedding was?

"... You two don't get out much do you?" Kari glanced back and forth.

"Y-Yeah we d-" Kentos began, but Osa cut him off: "Nope! We're always so busy with jobs from boss!"

"..." Kari narrowed her eyes. It reminded her. It reminded her of who she met up with. Of who... should've been dead. While Kentos gained a suspicious tone, she quickly contradicted it with her explanation. "A wedding joins two people who love each other together... er... Forever, you could say."

"Wha!? SO COOL!" Osa gasped. "I wanna get married! Kentos, let's get married!" _SPTTT!! _The other sip Kentos tried taking once again shot from his mouth like a golden bullet.

"N-Nani!?"

"Hahaha! You should've seen your face! Only kidding!" Osa laughed, and although Kentos made an irritated, Kari saw a laugh in his eyes. _These two must be friends, why are two so young doing such things? Not saying I'm not young being sixteen... seventeen... Wait, no... My birthday is... _Kari's eyes widened. _In two days...?_

On the third day. On the day Oni possibly would come... On that day... Oni would meet... a blast from the past.

* * *

Author- Yay! I got the next chapter out! Yes... I know... Osa was more serious the first time she was introduced but... What can I say? Another comic relief character? (XD)

Majora- As if we haven't got enough...

Oni- Really? Who?

Kari/Majora/Author- ... Um...

Kari- Anyway! We all hope you enjoyed this chapter of True Self... (nervous laugh)

Majora- Considering it had no moments where Oni was hit. (sigh)

Oni- S-So NOT funny! (in tears)

Author- I don't know... I just love that point in time where you try something... perverted and Kari smacks you upside the head, kicks you... etc...

Kari- I confess, (holds hands up) I enjoy it too.

Oni- So mean... (in tears, again)

Author- Nonetheless... Man, my poor back...

Everyone- ?

Author- You try hulking around several books for six class periods, and then carrying it home...

Majora- I feel no sympathy for you. That's what you get for not using a locker like smarter beings.

Author- D-Don't patronize me! You guys are supposed to say "oh, maybe you should..." yada yada... Some friend you are Majora... Right Kari? Oni?

Kari- I don't know... I think you should use the locker too...

Author- ... You all suck.

Oni- What!? No no no! Me no say anything like that author lady! Author lady should put her stuff in that strange locked magical box thingy! Me find it VERY useful! (Big grin)

Author- ...

Majora- ...

Kari- ...

Author/Majora/Kari- (walks away)

Oni- ... W... What did I say? (doggy ears, in tears... yet... again)

..

...

... (All alone)

Oni- S... Shot through the heart... And you guys are to blamed... (sniffle) You give love... a _very_ bad name...


	18. TS16: Some God You Are

"The monsters are growing thicker as we head there... I have a very bad feeling about this."

"I've HAD a bad feeling about this," Oni responded, and slowed her horse to trotting, unsure of the terrain. "It's almost midnight... We'll get there right on the dot... It's getting foggy..."

"Having second doubts? Getting _scared_?" Hanz looked to Oni, who hmphed before jerking his head to see straight ahead. _It's bad enough I have to work with Hanz under the current situation. Why the heck is the weather like this? This is no average weather patterns... But... It couldn't be Majora... could it? _"Oh, heads up!"

"_Caw!!_" A flying Pterodactyl-like creature dove in on the two like a hawk catching a pathetic sized mouse.

"Dmn it!" Oni held his hand out, stretched while the familiar blade materialized. "I am so SICK-" _Cruush! _Oni smashed the dull sword into the creature, sending it spiraling towards a tree. _Thwack! _Cracking from the inertia, the tree fell back and the scaly monster slid to the ground. "Of these dang things." Oni released the handle of the blade, and when it hit the earth, the world shivered.

"H-Hey! Don't get angry, you might cause some natural disaster idiot!" Hanz gaped, after almost falling from his horse that wobbled from the shaking.

"Sorry," Oni steered the brown stallion over to the sword and grabbed it. "I'll just keep it on me for now, I guess..." _Hanz is right. Don't get irritated... The last thing you need is the world to crack in half from some irritation... Almost makes me think the gods put too much trust in me... _"Well, we're just about there..."

"What are you talking about?" Hanz shook his head and pointed a finger. "We ARE here." As Oni turned his head, he gasped:

The infested dark woods gave way to a large clearing a few meters ahead. Surrounded with rough rocks and a mysterious mist, it looked like something was taken from a demented three year old's imagination. Especially the castle. As if carved from a sinister magic ore, the castle was rigid, and looked as if it itself could beat you in a fight. Black like the night sky, lanterns in the castle were the stars and there had to be at least twenty floors, if not more. The strangest part? It was floating. Yes, hovering.

"W-Whoa..." Oni gazed at the castle, somewhat familiar to his eyes. When he suddenly remembered, a shock electrified his entire body and the hair on the back of his neck rose. "This is... Could this be... The Castle of Zanzibar?"

"Z-Zanzibar?? You don't mean..." Hanz gaped.

"The Castle of Zanzibar. The castle of the underworld."

--

"..." Kari gazed at the cell door, and then to the barred window where moonlight peered in, teasing her of her captivity while it remained free. Hearing a squeak, she looked to the corner of the cell, where a small gray mouse was surrounded by two fat rats. "What are they...?" _SQUEAKK! _Her jaw dropped as the two rats sprung on the mouth, and she swiftly raced over. "Get off of him! Off! Now!" She smacked the rats away, but only to see the mouse bleeding and torn to shreds. "Everything... in this castle is..." She backed away, falling to the ground. "... is demented. Everything's crazy. Insane." Her eyes were wide. "Everything is... insane..." She hugged her knees. "I want... to go home..."

--

"She's not doing so well in the chambers..." Osa frowned, gazing into the crystal ball. "Kentos, do you think the rumors are true? That everyone who is held captive in those cells go crazy? Do you think...?" Osa bit her lip.

"I wouldn't doubt it," Kentos turned away from the sight. "Everything in this castle is weird. I don't trust it myself... But boss selected it, so we're fine..."

"I don't... I don't want to... fight anymore..."

"_What?_" Kentos jerked to Osa, who wrapped her arms around herself.

"I don't like what we're doing. I don't wanna stay here anymore!"

"Osa! Don't you ever say that!" Kentos grabbed her shoulders. "Never! You hear me!? Never say that!!"

"K-Kentos! You're scaring me!!" Osa yanked away. "I wanna go now! I wanna leave! I don't wanna fight anymore! Boss hasn't kept the promise! Boss promised to help us! Boss hasn't!" Osa pushed her hair back, revealed long dog-like ears. "But Boss isn't! You of all people should know!"

"Ght...!" Kentos gritted his teeth, once again becoming aware of the wolf-like ears on his own head. "I...! I won't...! I won't disobey Boss...!"

"..." Osa winced, and took a step away. "Then we... won't see each other again."

"What!? O-Osa wait! If you leave Boss will k-"

"Kill me! I know!" Osa shouted. "But I'd rather die doing something good than die with false hope! Good-bye Kentos!" Osa turned away and rushed from the room, escaping rapidly through the window.

"O-Osa...! I'm... worried about you...!"

"Do not worry Kentos."

"W-What!? Boss...!" Kentos gawked. "O-Oh!" Swiftly straightening himself, he browsed for an excuse. "Osa is...!"

"I will not hurt her Kentos, you mustn't worry," The figure spoke casually. "I am not that kind of person, or do you think otherwise?"

"N-No! Of course not!" Kentos dropped to his knees. "Never! I'd never think that!"

"Very well... Do not lose hope, I feel I am on to something about your condition... And... in good time, you can bring Osa back to cure herself, even."

"O-Oh! Thank-you! Thank-you!"

"It is fine." _This fool... _The being thought. _To have someone so loyal just for one reason... Pitiful, I can use him as a pawn to stall the fierce deity, I suppose. _The figure smirked.

--

"GEEZUS! I feel like we're going in circles! Are you SURE we're going the right way!?" Hanz accused, making Oni flinch.

"W-Well... I've been here before so I remember where to go but... this... it's like... we're not getting away... Like a pace space."

"A what space?"

"Pace space," Oni began to explain. "A dimension separate from the one you know, and it only has a certain perimeter which you can roam... Although... Only gods have the power to travel between pace spaces..."

"Or creatures with the abilities blessed by prodigies!" A huge spider crashed to the ground, causing Oni and Hanz to fall. "I'm amazed you know such a thing O stupid one!"

"... Oh, I remember you," Oni got to his feet before Hanz. "You were the large gatekeeper of this castle... I beat you up as a kid! Haha!"

"Haha laugh all you want!! I am stronger now!" The spider's two front legs tapped the ground. "Who should I eat first? I hear Terminans taste good... Hehehe, let's test that!" Rushing past Oni, the spider rocketed towards Hanz, but he was prepared.

"And I KNOW Terminans aren't weaklings!" Hanz jumped to the right, slashed his sword at one of the legs. _Clang! _A high metal pitch rang through the hallways. "W... What the h3ll?"

"Well this is new, care to explain Mr. Four eyes?" Oni folded his arms, tilting his head back and forth as he walked around the spider. "Last time I saw you, a butter knife could chop off your legs..." Smiling from an old memory, Oni stopped in front of the spider's eyes. "Did Mr. Spider get an upgrade from his new evil lord?"

"Grrr! It pains you to not know my name is Diabólico!" He snapped forward, but Oni's caught his two top fangs.

"Ohhh, I'm sooo sorry," Oni snickered. "It's been... well, five hundred years since I last saw you, you expect me to remember your name? That's pretty harsh."

"..." Hanz watched the fight from the sidelines, pressing himself against the cobble brick walls. _This god... Oni... The Fierce Deity... He... shows no sign of fear whatsoever... He... is enjoying this...? _A sweat bead dripped down Hanz's temple.

"So, Diabolico..."

"It's Diabólico!!"

"Oh well! I suck at Spanish accents! Deal with it!" Oni punched a fist onto the spider's head. "Now, either you are friendly and let us past or I'll have to repeat the butter knife incident with THIS!" Oni drew the huge blade.

"Oh, shiver me timbers, I'm sooo scared," Diabolico sarcastically replied. "I've improved! And besides, I've gotten smarter unlike some people!!"

"Again with the insults! You're really startin' to piss me off!!" Oni threw his sword aside. "Screw that! I'll beat you up with my own two hands!" _Kick!_

"That's your leg you idiot!" _Dodge!_

"Oh really? Well try my other leg than!" _Double kick!_

"You lack accuracy in your hits...!" _Double dodge!_

"... You really don't like me, do you?" Oni folded his arms and stared at the monster straight in its eyes. "After so many years, the pet doesn't like his master, it's rather heartbreaking."

"You left me here!" Diabolico snapped. _Pet? That's his... PET!? _Hanz's eye twitched. "And I was forced to create a contract with Boss..." Diabolico's muscles relaxed. "It's not that I want to kill you and eat you... But that's what I have to do."

"Awww! I missed you Fluffy!" _Hug!_

"I'm not fluffy anymore dmn it! Diabólico!"

"Ok... Ok... Diabólico... So... Even if you have a contract with the new dude, what about our contract?"

"It expired last year."

"Really? Dang it! I knew I was forgetting something!" Oni hit himself on the head. "Guess we'll have to fight..."

"Like old times? Feeling nostalgic are we?"

"Yeah... Somethin' boring like that but... after I win..."

"If you win."

"No, when I win," Oni smiled. "I'll make sure to go beat up that new contractor of yours, then you go and find yourself a nice big spider lady and have spider babies ok?"

"You haven't changed... You're still a pervert aren't you?"

"What!? Is it that easy to read?" Oni smirked, the good memories of the castle coming back.

"Always stalking the princess of the underworld... And flipping her dress, and then she'd summon evil spirits on you..."

"And I'd beat'um up..."

"And then-" The two chorused. "You'd (I'd) do it all again!"

"..." Hanz smacked his forehead. _A friendly talking spider... and a stupid god... What is this world ruled by exactly?_

* * *

Author- Phew! I kinda liked this chapter... many profiles... And yay! I love doggy people! I don't know... random thing... I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well though! It's getting... action-y...

Majora- That's not a word.

Author- It is in the great dictionary of me! (Whack) Anyway!.. Where's Kari?

Majora- (Points to corner)

Kari- Everything... crazy... demented... (Fetal position)

Author- Oooookk... Maybe that scene was a little harsh... I feel sorry for the mousy! (Cries)

Majora- ... I feel sorry for the rats. You smacked them away, and stopped them from eating dinner.

Oni- ZOMG Majora! So mean! Isn't he Rocky!?

Rocky-...

Oni/Author- See!?

Majora- ... Why's rocky back?

Author- Because he's part of the cast, of course! (Picks up rocky) ... Do you want to marry him?

Majora- WHAT!? NOOO!

Author- Oh... YOU STUPID ROCK! (Throws, hits car across street, car alarm goes off) Uh-oh...

Some mean old guy- WHO HIT MY CAR!? YOU LTTLE YOUNG'INS!

Author/Oni- He did it! (Points to Majora, runs away, grabbing Kari in process)

Majora- Now, let's just talk this over rationally... (Backing away slowly)

Old dude- Rationally!? Rationally!? Is rationally what you did to my car!? NOO!! (Chases with baseball bat)

Majora- AHHHH! WHY DO I ALWAYS GET HURT!? (Runs off into distance)

...

Oni- (Tap dancing) The end!


	19. TS17: Heartbreaking Reunion

_BASH! Cruuuu! RUMPH! _A brick wall hit with strong force crumbled to the ground while Oni, the force who had been slammed into it, sunk to the ground. Shaking his head as he slowly sat up, he gently pressed a section on his head and glanced at his fingers, now dabbed with dark red blood.

"Ow... Hey, one might think you're actually _trying_ to kill me," Oni shook his head. "Anyway, I hate to tell you this, but I'm not a fan of red hair..."

"Are you kidding me? It'll be pink when it dries," Diabolico hung from the ceiling, his fangs clacking together. Keeping all four eyes on Oni, he continued, "And according to the color wheel, pink will definitely suit you."

"... Pink...?" Oni whimpered. "I hate pink... Aw man! Mean, mean, mean! I didn't need a new color... Maybe a new style but... Nah, my hair's dead sexy as is." Oni held a hand over one eye, a very high self image in his mind as he posed.

"Oh really?" Diabolico snickered. "Because if you want a new style, hold still and you'll definitely feel a load off your shoulders... Then again... I can get you how you are right now!!" _SWWOO! _Lunging forward, Oni sighed well he held his hands up in a "oh well" sort of way.

"I guess... IT'S TIME TO RETURN THE FAVOR!!" Catching one of the monster's legs in half a second, Oni grinned as he swung the disastrously huge arachnid into the wall rubble Oni had just come from. "Whooo! How's that for the best spinny circus ride?"

"Terrible! You didn't even let me eat a Terminan before I went on! And that throw was pathetic!" Diabolico rose from the rubble which was now reduced small rocks, pebbles, and dust. "I want my money back!"

"You didn't pay me ya freeloader!" Oni laughed. "Should I throw in a free joyride?"

"Nah, I'll just... SHOW YOU MY BOREDOM!!" _Swipe! Svish! _Two long legs slashed horizontally and were so fast, they sliced Oni's tunic, even though he dodged the attack.

"O-Ouch! Dang! Alright little beastie, I give you some respect...!" Oni flinched as he grabbed his chest, it trickled small droplets of blood, just like his hair. "You really... MAKE ME WANNA SHOUT!" Punching forward, Oni beat down the spider, smashing it again and again and finally he finished his combo with a nice kick to the center two eyes. "Lordie that felt great!"

"..." Diabolico remained on the ground, yet he was laughing. "I... Can't move..."

"Yeah, considering I just hit every single pressure point on you body..." Oni smiled. "You are completely helpless right now... Now..." Grabbing his sword, he walked over to the old pet and held it right over his head like a guillotine. "Eliminate this fake pace space otherwise I'll make you head into a Halloween decoration."

"Ha... Always so pushy...?" The spider dipped its head. Suddenly, the walls began spinning, the colors mixing, and the very dimension turned inside out, bringing them to a small hallway invested with skeletons. "Tada, welcome to the real Zanzibar Castle... In order to leave this place... If you ever can... You have to go to the seventh pace space of Mihas before returning to Terminan, otherwise you'll be stuck forever, got it O stupid one?"

"Yeah... Maybe... No, not really, but I'll leave that remembering stuff to my pal over there," Oni motioned towards Hanz who was still dumbfounded by the world's order. "So... It was fun Deireyeis... You're coming with me when I leave, ok?"

"Yeah yeah... Hey, when you get back here, bring something to eat... I haven't eaten in a few weeks..."

"Ok... But none of my friends, got it?" Oni patted the creature's head. "Well, Hanz... Let's be on our way, shall we?"

"S... Sure...?" Hanz's eye twitched.

"Oh yeah, don't forget where we have to go so we can leave alright? Otherwise we'll be stuck in this realm forever and eventually we'll be forced to eat one another, starting with you."

"Ok... Wait... What?"

(Ok... Let's just skip ahead, I don't feel like writing a gigantic puzzle labyrinth like in most Legend of Zelda games... So... Twenty floors later!!"

"EYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Just as Hanz and Oni finished walking up the last set of stairs, a high pitch shriek rang throughout the castle, someone in extreme pain... And it sounded like...

"Kari!!" Oni and Hanz gasped, only giving each other short glances before bursting into a full throttle speed. Rocketing up a long hallway, they both rammed down the large wooden door at the end at the hall. Stumbling in, they both drew their swords.

"W... Wait..." Hanz lowered his weapons. "Kari isn't..."

"Here?" A figure from the shadows emerged, and Oni narrowed his eyes. Kentos. "No... She's here all right..." Extending a hand, he pointed to his left where flames suddenly burst upon candles and shown Kari unconscious, hanging from a rope while two cloaked figures held blades like an "X" by her neck. "If you move, I will order them to slice that fair little neck of hers clean, and then you can have her back..."

"Yeah right..." Oni strode forward, making Hanz grab at his sleeve.

"Oni! He's serious! Don't get Kari k-"

"That isn't Kari," Oni squinted his eyes, and this made Kentos twitch slightly. "Do you really think you can fool a god's eyes Kentos?"

"No... More like a test..." Kentos chuckled. "But I have to say, I'm amazed someone without a brain can do so much... Defeating the bosses of every level... Even taking out one of your own former pets. Being who I am... I'm impressed."

"So you're..." Hanz began, and Oni finished, "you're the boss, aren't you?"

"... Less talk, more action," Kentos lowered himself into a fighting position, drawing two twin blades of steel. "I hate such useless things in a true fight."

"Oh... Good..." Oni stepped forward, drawing his badass sword with a smirk. "Cuz' I hate'um too. Hanz, this guy's mine. You go ahead and find Kari."

"What?" Hanz gaped. _Me? Save Kari? I was sure you'd want to in the end.. Is this fight really that important to you...?_

"This guy was the one who took Kari, and I lost to him before... so... You go ahead, I've got a score to settle."

"O-Oh!" Hanz nodded. "Alright...!" Rushing to the next door, Hanz paused. "Hey, Oni?"

"Yeah?"

"You'd better catch up..." Hanz looked over his shoulder. "Cuz' if you make Kari cry, I'm gonna beat you up when I see you in the afterlife."

"Hahaha!" Oni beamed. "Right right, I'll be right there!" Oni waved, and then he looked directly into Kento's face, although he couldn't really see him. "Shall we get down to business?"

"I thought with all that talking, you'd never ask..."

"Well then..." Oni exercised his shoulder before cracking his knuckles. "Let's get this party started!!"

(After Party! Yay party!)

"Well, well, well," Oni walked up to Kentos, defeated on the floor, his face still hidden. "In only thirty minutes I beat you down to this..." Holding his sword over Kento's head, Oni hesitated. Then, using the sword's tip, he pushed the hood down. "Y-You..!"

"So..." Kentos gazed up at him, "When do you plan of ridding this world of this weak monster?"

"Huh?" Oni lowered hi sword. "What are you talking about? All I see is some young dude with very unique ears."

"W-What? What are you talking about!?" Kentos yelled. "I'm a monster! I'm disgusting!! Hurry up and kill m-"

"Kentos!" Both of Oni and Kentos's heads jerked to see a girl, blonde curled hair.

"O-Osa..!" Kentos's eyes widened a bit, and Oni took that time to back up as the girl ran over. "Osa you came ba-" _SLAP!_

"Nani!? Baka! How could you wish something like that on yourself!?" Osa yelled, hitting him on the head. "You dummy! You're so mean to leave me alone in this world!?"

"N-No...!" Kentos shook his head. "Well..." The two grew quiet and both looked to Oni. "If he lets me stay."

"P-Please sir! Please let Kentos stay!" Osa instantly dropped to her knees, begging which surprised Kentos but made Oni fluster. "He's my best friend! He's stupid, but he's nice! He's a really good person! He's not boss!!"

"..." Oni rubbed his head. _Well... Not like I was gonna kill him anyway... _"Alright... Kentos... I will let you live..." As excitement raged in Osa's eyes, she hugged him, but Oni began talking again. "Also, having the powers I have... I can take care of those ears... but... Are they really that bad?" Oni smiled and Kentos grew silent.

"No... It doesn't matter what I look like... Because..." Slowly rising to his feet, with Osa's help, Kentos sighed but smiled. "I have a friend in this world just like me." His grip on Osa tightened gently, making her face grow a little red.

"Alright alright.. Uh... Not that I want to break up this moment..." Osa began. "But Mister Deity, aren't you forgetting something?"

"..." The smile was wiped from Oni's face as his eyes jerked to the next door. "K... KARI!!" Rocketing over to the door, he busted it open only to find a very dark black room, with only two torches lit that shown a throne... and a very familiar being. The huge sword fell from Oni's hand as he took two steps forward. "S... S..." He stuttered, his eyes wide. "Saluse?"

Tied up, that was what Kari and Hanz were as they watched the scene, their mouths bandaged shut... And the pain developing in Kari, was not from the three days of captivity.

"..." A tall skinny girl rose from the throne with a sweet familiar smile that made Oni's heart skip two beats. Smiling kindly while she walked over, she placed her hands on his cheeks. "It has been a long time... hasn't it Tsuki?"

"M-My nickname..." Oni grabbed her hands. "S-Saluse... It is you...!" He pulled her tightly close, trembling. "Saluse! I-I... I missed you...!" He was a man... and men don't cry but... His eyes swelled in tears. "You were dead...! I was lost...! Saluse! Saluse! You're ok...!! B-But... How!?"

"I wasn't dead..." Saluse spoke softly, only making Oni hug her tighter. _O-Oni... She's... She's the boss...! You idiot! See that! See that! _Tears ran down Kari's cheeks. _D-Don't... Don't do this...! _"Majora had made a copy of me and killed it in order to fool you... He kept me in one of his pace spaces until taking me here where I escaped... he's... Oni! I'm so scared! He'll come after me!" _Saluse! How can you do this!? Why!? Why!? _Kari shut her eyes, causing two big tear drops to race to the ground. _And Oni...! I-I thought..!!_

_..._

_Yeah... I thought... _Kari winced. _I guess I wasn't right... Oni loves Saluse and... He always will... more than... More than... _Her heart was being torn to bits.

"Saluse... I... missed you so much..." Oni quietly spoke as they stopped hugging.

"Tsuki... I missed you so much more..." _Chu._ Her lips pressed against his and his mind went blank.

* * *

Author- Yay betrayal! Yay! Didja expect Saluse? And no, Haley, don't say you did, since I told you before, haha! Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter... And look forward to the next... I was actually going to make a long chapter, but decided to cut it in half.

Majora- What does "Chu" mean?

Author- Well... In most mangas it's just a sound effect word they use often... I felt like using it.

Majora- And how did I not guess it's from anime and manga... (smacks forehead)

Author- ... I dunno, you're the "smart" one. (sarcastic, rolls eyes)

Oni- Kari? Kari? Why won't you talk to me?

Kari- ... Humph! (storms past)

Oni- (sniffle) Why won't she talk to me? Author Lady, do you know?

Author- ... (looks at chapter 17 script in hand) Oh no, I haven't a clue. (sarcastic)

Oni- Wahhh! Kari! Wait up! TEeelllLLLll MMmmmeeeeEEE!! (races after)

Majora- Your story is turning into one of those soap operas...

Author- And of course YOU'D know.

Majora- What's THAT supposed to mean!?

Author- Oh nothing, nothing (walks away)

Majora- ... If I only had a bazooka right now...


	20. TS18: Love and Hate, like Yin and Yang

"Sa... luse...?" He felt as if any air in his body suddenly disappeared, and he had not remembered the texture of her lips. Meanwhile, Kari began struggling to her feet, unable to take it, knowing Saluse's plan. In tears, she emerged from the dark shadowy corner. "K-Kari!?" For a moment, Oni forgot Saluse completely. "Kari, you're ok!" A smile formed on his face, but she gave him a long quiet stare. After an uncomfortable five seconds, Kari wiggled the bandage covering her mouth, off.

"O-Oni...! You have to listen to me!" Kari began. _Will he listen? Will he just grow angry at me for accusing? I can only try... _"Saluse is planning on using the blood of a deity to open a gate that will let terrible things here! I know it's far-fetched..." Kari winced, but then shook her head. "You have to believe me though!"

"W-What...?" Oni gaped, unsure of how to respond.

"Oni!" Saluse grabbed his tunic's sleeve. "An evil spirit possessed Kari while she was being held in the cell next to me! She's trying to deceive you!"

"W-What!?" Kari gasped. "O-Oni, C-c'mon! That's nonsense!"

"..." Oni stepped forward, snatching up the large sword. "Then... I'll rid the evil spirit... Even if I have to send Kari to the afterlife." Kari's heart skipped a beat and her whole body froze up, her eyes wide like a deer in headlights. Starting to shake, she took a step back. "HAAAA!" Dashing forward, Oni smashed the enormous blade into the ground, shattering the rock to bits and pieces and causing some sharp pebble projectiles to fling past Kari, cutting her bare skin.

"I AM Kari!" Kari yelled, barely dodging the mess. "I am Kari! I am Kari!" Tears were bursting from her eyes in buckets. "I love taking walks! I work in a flower shop!" Shouting with shrieks, Oni flinched from Kari's tone, but raised his blade again. "My mom and dad are dead! I live with Grandma Beck! I- AHHH!" As the sword slammed into the wall next to her, the tears grew harder as she panicky ran to the other side of the room. "I-I...! Ahhh!" She fell, the panic causing her limbs to collapse under her, and Oni slowly sauntered up next to her, holding the sword over her body. The final blow. "I-I... I hate you... I hate you so much... Y-You...!" The tears ran down like waterfalls. "I HATE YOU SO MUCH ONI!!"

Oni froze. _Thunk! _The sword fell to the ground with a loud clang and Oni bent down, placing a hand on her head.

"... I..." He winced. "I can't... kill her... Saluse..." Standing up, he took a step back, quietly watching her. "Even if she is possessed... Kari is a good friend and... I can't... just hack her down..."

"_That's too bad_."

"What?" The new voice made Oni turn, jerk to see Saluse with an irritated look.

"I said: That's too bad. You're pitiful aren't? I was wondering if I could drive the Fierce Deity into destroying her... Since she's bothering this body's mind. Foolish. I should've finished you both off from the start."

"S-Saluse...!" Oni gaped. What the HECK was going on!?

"You fool. Do you honestly believe I am Saluse? An inferior human? Has love blinded you so much you can't see properly?"

"Wha-"

"FOOL!" Saluse grew a maniac-like grin and laughed horrendously. "You're an idiot!! Fool!" Beginning to glow red, Saluse's imposter's eyes grew a deep red as her nails grew long and her teeth changed to fangs. "I will use your blood to unlock my powers once more... and then the entire dimensions shall be MINE!!"

"... You..." Oni's looked down, hair shading his face as he plucked the sword from the ground. "You can mess with my mind... You can almost get away with having me kill someone... But when you stir the past...!" When Oni looked up, the look on his face was not like any other time. Filled with hatred and rage, the look belonged to... A fierce deity. "YOU GET ONE H3LL OF A CONSEQUENCE!! HAAAA!!" Dashing forward, something wet touched Kari's face. A tear. Completely hurt, Kari shut her eyes tightly and hugged herself. There was an equation. There always had been an equation... She... had just been... a replacement.

_Clang! _Oni's sword charged at the fraud not as a sword, but as a bull. A bull whose family was under attack. A bull who was threatened. A bull that had just lost something precious. _CHINK! _The creature's titanium claws beat against Oni's sword with a loud ring and it cracked in half, falling to the floor. Did this stop Oni? No. It did not. Now in pure fury, his fists beat down on the creature, it wasn't Saluse. It didn't resemble Saluse anymore in his mind. It was an obstacle. A meaningless brick in his way.

"BWHAHAHAHA! You can't defeat me!!" The being shrieked as Oni's fist smashed into its face. "I am invincible! I am invincible! I am i-"

"YOU ARE A PAIN IN THE SS!!" _BOOSH! _Oni grabbed the being and shoved its head on the corner of a pole, impaling straight through. "And you...! Are on my nerves...!!"

"..." From the corner, Hanz watched in silence.

"..." From behind Oni, Kari stared in horror at the now dead figure. And then she stood up.

"K... Kari...!" Oni swerved to face her, flustered. "I-I'm sorry...! I didn't know who to trust...!"

"..." Kari held a hand, to silent him as she walked over to Hanz and untied him. "L... Let's go... home..." She struggled with every word, and let Hanz lean on her as they walked.

"K-Kari...!" Oni reached out a hand, but she kept walking. He followed, but in silence. They all grew silent. She was hurt. He was hurting.

"Boss! You're back!" Diabolico met them at the gate. "And you're all alive! Well, I think but... Boss?"

"..." Oni paused by Diabolico and placed a hand on his head, watching Kari lead Hanz off. "I've made... a terrible mistake... and... this is my punishment... Diabolico, you are free. You are under no one's contract. I'll... see you... maybe..."

(Getting Home!)

Hanz waved slightly, unsure of everything going on and he was afraid to say anything anyway. Although, he was satisfied in knowing how much Oni DID love Saluse... but... The same couldn't be said with Kari. Walking on a dirt path towards home, Kari and Oni both looked ahead.

"So... Kari... uh... I'm sorry...?" Oni uncomfortably rubbed his head. "I didn't mean to attack you like that... but... I really couldn't stop myself from obe-"

"It's ok."

"Huh? No... It's not ok," Oni shook his head. "You're all beat up now and look like a filet fis-"

"It's ok!"

"... K-Kari?" Oni was afraid to speak, something was definitely not right.

"Baka...!" Kari stopped moving, her hands turned to fists but Oni could not see the tears forming in her eyes. "Naniyo... (1) Naniyo, baka!! Why are you following me!? Why are you coming here!? What's here to stay for, baka!!" When she looked up, red faced, Oni gaped. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I hate you!" With all her might, which wasn't a lot at the moment, she slammed her fists onto Oni's chest. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate! I hate you!!" Catching her fists, Oni stood in silence as she gazed up at him.

"I'm so... sorry Kari..." He hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry...! Gomen nasai...!" (2) He was trembling. He didn't want this. He didn't want any of this. How could he go from being so happy... to this? He was so happy when he thought Saluse was alive... Why did it come down to this!?

"Let. Go. Of me," Kari yanked away.

"Kari... How much did you se-"

"All of it," Kari bitterly replied as she turned away. "Everything. Completely. Every part." She gazed at him with shivering eyes.

"W-What!?" He gasped. Everything? EVERYTHING? EVERYTHING!? Then it struck him. Why did it matter to her? What did Saluse matter to her? Sure... Saluse was her friend but... Why did she hate him!? What did he do!? "Wait a minute! I'm not at fault here! Why should I apologize!?"

"Eh!?" Kari took a step back, recoiling from his stern yells.

"Nani!? Why are you so mad at me for what I did!?"

"YOU IDIOT!" _CRACK! _She slapped his right cheek, so hard his head turned. "Because I love you!!" This made Oni freeze, flinch. Kari broke out in tears again. "Does that give me no right to be angry? Does that mean: Oh well! Oni loves Saluse! You're nothing! Does it mean I can't be angry? I'm over this! Completely!! Officially! Good-bye Fierce Deity, good-bye!" She stomped away, disappearing into the thick forest and most likely heading to the house. Oni held a shaking hand to his cheek.

"N... Nani..." He closed his eyes. "Saying she hates me... And then that...? You silly... stupid..." He knelt down on the ground, feeling as if he was entirely alone. "Stupid girl..."

* * *

(1)Naniyo- What do you want? (Japanese, rude)

(2)Gomen nasai- I'm sorry (Japanese)

* * *

Author- Drama llama! Dun dun dun! Well, in relief, that whole ordeal is over! However, now there's this bump to get over... Then back to the funny!

Majora- ... Geez. That was... intense...

Author- Yeah... I'm surprised I didn't get emotional as I wrote it! Although... I did say the lines a few times... My sister gave me weird stares... (XD)

Majora- I can only imagine... (rolls eyes)

Author- Shaddup! You bore me! (whack) Oh! Hey Oni! I'm giving you a raise for your good work, you'll actually get two donuts now!

Oni- yay... (slumps off)

Author- ... Oh god... Oni didn't celebrate... (exchanges glances with Majora) It's the next apocalypse! RUUUN!!

Majora/Author- In apocalypse hideout with all sorts of guns

Author- I hope no zombies come!

Majora- Zombies?

Author- yeah! Cuz if they come after us, I'm so tripping you!

Majora- ...

Some random guy- What the worldddd needs now... is looove... sweet looove... It's the only thiiing... yeah...

Majora- Shut the h3ll up! (blows off head with shotgun)

Author- ... Awesome.

Majora- ?

Author- You're not a complete failure! You can kickss with a shotgun! Yay! (huggles)

Majora- ... I can demonstrate it again on you... (thinking quickly) oh, but we're out of shotgun bullets... We'll have to _improvise. _

...

Author- UGH! SICK BSTARD!


	21. TS19: Not So Perfect Apology

_"Nani!? Why are you so mad at me for what I did!?"_

_"YOU IDIOT!" SMACK! "Because I love you!!"_

His cheek still ached from the force of her bitter palm and while the red hand mark was fading, it was still there. The pain. The ice cold bitterness. A clear reminder to Oni: She hated him now. He had been the one to screw up...

Crouching down by the frozen river's edge, Oni squinted his eyes in search of fish. Winter rolled in harshly, and there had been an awful storm last night that chewed up his fingers and toes before spitting them out as ice chunks. Frostbite? How? He dared not enter the house where she slept. He was too ashamed... And too confused to deal with her for now. So _where _had Oni slept? Well, up on a hill where flowers used to dominate the grassy area, Oni had went to the secret base despite the fact Majora's scent and aura lingered there, only hurting him more.

So that's was Oni's condition. Hurt, exhausted, and confused. The hurt was not that of the pain one would find on his left cheek. The exhaustion was not that one would find from fatigue. Finally, the confusion was just like the other two. Mentally. Sure, his cheek hurt, but Kari's tears were what made him bleed inside. Of course, he was tired from a hard night's rest, but he had tired his brain out thinking of ways to apologize. And confusion. How come... he had been so blind?

Blind to her affection?

He would admit it: He had no clue she loved him. Though... he did love her, the many times he told her he was not lying. Yet, he was now confused. Did he love her because she reminded him of Saluse? Or did he love her high-spirited spontaneous-ness? Either way, his bad mood wasn't affecting just those around him. It was affecting the world.

The late storm the night before hadn't been just a coincidence... It was because of Oni's confusion. The early winter wasn't because of strange legend of Zelda boss using magic to screw up the climate, it was because of Oni's exhaustion; winter is the season of hibernation and rest. The worse was yet to come, though. Oni's hurt would bring upon the land a terrible fate... Pulling a book from his side, he sheepishly opened it: "101 ways to apologize."

"101 one ways to apologize... Number one..." Oni sighed, reading was only adding to his irritation. "Write apology notes and leave them everywhere... How much time do they think I have? I can't leave notes everywhere though! Especially not..." He fell silent and smacked his face as a nosebleed started. "Oh geez! That was too dirty even for me!!" AHHH!! BAKA! Get it out of your head! Out of yourrr head!!" He proceeded in hitting himself a few more times before just shaking it off and returning his attention to the book. "Number two..."

**Buy a star and name it after them.**

"A whole star...?" Oni rubbed his head. "How the heck can you buy a star? That's possible!? Wow!" He gasped in amazement. "I shoulda bought them all and named them after my favorite foods!!"

"You really are an idiot, aren't you?"

"What's it to you, Hanz?" Oni spoke without turning. "Come to rub it in my face: You win?"

"..." Hanz winced but walked beside Oni and sat. "No, I came to thank-you."

"What...?"

"Many times, I blamed myself for..." Hanz grew quiet for a few moments, steadying his voice. "I blamed myself for Saluse's death. Then, I got over it by blaming you." (Oni: Well, AREN'T YOU SO KIND?) "So... I never really thought you loved Saluse, not even after Kari scolded me for calling you out like that... Oh, sorry for that, too, I'm normally a nice guy!" Hanz laughed but Oni gazed at the iced water. _Kari defended me. Again and again... How obvious it is now... _He sadly thought. "Then... In the castle... I saw how you acted around Saluse; you were totally under her words! You even attacked Ka-" As Oni glared at him, Hanz dipped his head in apology. "When _that _happened, I realized... You really did love Saluse, didn't you?"

"..." Oni stood up, making Hanz look up at him questionably. "Although you're trying to be nice and thank me... I'd rather not talk about Saluse." Turning away slowly, Oni began off.

"Because deep down, you love Kari, don'tcha?"

"..." Oni stopped.

"You do, you love them both... I may not be the brightest but I know love when I see it!" Hanz stretched, his winter coat keeping him warm. "So... that's why... I'm willing to help you have Kari forgive you. Ok? So that b-"

"No."

"What?" Hanz jerked up. "What do you mean?"

"Hanz, this is something I've brought upon myself..."

"That never stopped you before," Hanz pointed out but only made Oni grow sterner: "I brought this upon myself. I will fix this myself. Thank-you, but no thanks Hanz. I'll do this... Even if I have to remain here till the day Kari dies."

**Apology number five: Make a card and leave it somewhere they'll find it.**

Setting a sheep-skin paper card on the door to the flower shop cash register, Oni left the shop and hid behind some large ceramic pots. Sure enough, a few minutes later, Oni saw Kari walking up the path, today she had to work in the shop's greenhouse. Watching her enter the shop and head to the cash register, Oni bit his lip as she picked up the card. Then, he sighed, as she pushed it away to a point it fell into the trashcan next to the front desk.

Oni's condition: The ceramic pots gave him rashes...

**Apology number thirty-five: Use a gift to apologize, but make sure it isn't the apology itself.**

Oni didn't really understand this, so he basically bought a winter jacket (Since Kari always seemed cold), boxed it, and left in on her front porch with a tag reading: _From Oni, please forgive me. _Close to the time Kari got off work, Oni noticed her coming from the forest road and heading up to the house. Bending down to pick up the box, he heard her sigh and mutter a few words. Much to his surprise, she did not throw the box away, but she gave the gift away to Grandma Beck. Was he really on to something?

Oni's condition: he accidentally hid in a thorn bush...

**Apology number one hundred and one: Go to others who know the person for advice.**

"Well that's crappy..." Oni sighed, scratching his arm as it broke out into hives. "Grandma Beck might attack me for getting Kari upset again... And I rejected Hanz's help..." Oni sat down on a rock, propping himself up on his arms. "Maybe... Maybe I just can't do it. Maybe it's just impossible with this stupid w- WAIT! EUREKA!!"

**Oni's Idea: ... Wait, he actually got an idea?**

Night fell over the land, covering it with a thick flurry of darkness as Oni sauntered over to Kari's house, shivering from the cold. Using what little deductive skills he had, he learned Grandma Beck was already asleep by this time while Kari stayed up reading on the couch. Raising a fist, he hesitated to knock... But knocked anyway.

No response, Kari ignored it.

Oni knocked again.

Kari got up, glanced out the window, then sat back down and continued reading.

Oni knocked again, louder.

Kari twitched irritably.

Oni knocked twice, even louder.

Kari set down the book.

Oni then pounded on the door again and again and again.

Kari raced over to the door:

"WHAT!?" Kari seemed to screen, a large pulsing angry vein appeared on her forehead as she clutched the door tightly. "You're going to wake up Grandma Beck!!.. What happened to you?" Thorned, rashy, and quite frostbitten, Oni was quite the sight... "You ARE Oni right?"

"I...!" Oni gaped, almost forgetting why he was there for a moment. "I-I'm sorry! INCREDIBLY SORRY!" He dropped to his knees and dipped his head before looking up at her. "I tried many methods of apologizing and...! And..." Suddenly, he collapsed to the ground. After all, he HAD been standing in the cold since she got off work at noon... and it was now eight.

"B... Baka..." Kari winced, but didn't hesitate to slowly pull him inside and set him on the couch before shutting the door. Lighting the fireplace, she heated a kettle of water before dipping a rag in it and placing it on his head. After this, she merely sat down on the table and examined him. Silently. One word kept coming to mind as minutes passed: Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Where had he gotten rashes from? When he delivered the apologetic note? When had he got so thorny? When he left the gift and waited for her reaction? And how his body instinctively shivered to get warmth... That was from waiting outside so long. Stubborn idiot. A few moments later, he came too, but was still inhumanely blue in the face.

"W... What... happened...?" He quietly spoke, his lips chapped from the caustic chill. "I'm... Am I dead?"

"No, luckily for you," Kari took the rag from his head and dipped it again. "You passed out from the cold while apologizing."

"O-Oh! Yeah! I so sor-"

"Just stop already..." Kari silenced him with a sigh. "Now hold still, I'll help get the thorns out..." She mumbled, grabbing tweezers. _Nani? _(1) Oni thought quietly as he fell very still. _Is she... not mad at me anymore...? PLUCK!_

"Ght!" Oni flinched and opened his mouth to say something rather offensive, but held his tongue, actually being intelligent. (APOCALYPSE I TELL YOU!) "Arigato..." (2) Once more, it fell silent, only the crackling of the flames kept breaking the uncomfortable quiet. Kari went after another thorn, and Oni stopped a smile from forming on his face. She did it more gently this time. _Oh... You idiot, you've got to apologize, even if it means nothing at this point! _He shook his head. "Kari! I'm sor-"

"I know."

"..."

"You got these rashes from the ceramic pots didn't you?" Kari took the hot rag and set it on one disturbing rash. "And these thorns from the tundra bushes outside... And this frostbite from waiting outside too long."

"..." Oni it his lip. She knew, but her tone didn't sound convincing... She sighed:

"You..." The tweezers fell from her hands and when she looked up, Oni's jaw almost fell to the floor: She had slight tears skimming down her cheeks. "You're such an idiot..." She clenched her hands tightly on her knees. "You never understand... and you're always doing the most outlandish things..."

"Kari," Oni sat up, still aching in pain, he grabbed one of her hands and used his free hand to wipe a tear from her cheek. "You know what they say, right? People do crazy things... when they're in love." From the way her eyes widened, Oni knew she felt as if her heart had stopped. However, that didn't mean the apology was doing good or bad so far. "Do you remember that time I er... It was back when we were traveling, I believe... I think after Majora's attack..." He felt a flutter in his stomach, older memories making him want to chuckle but he held back the laughs. "One day I pushed you to the ground and specifically told you: 'I love you.' Do you remember that?"

"..." Kari said nothing, but dipped her head half an inch.

"I meant every word with every ounce of... Raging hormones in my body," grinned the fierce deity with true heart, "Even if I only said three words, I could say a billion and never run out! Kari..." His grip on her hand tightened, but still was soft and kind. "I do love you." Kari pulled her hand from his grasp, but he grabbed it again. Eyes intensifying, she glared at him:

"Then what about Saluse? If she were to come back, you would go to her, wouldn't you? You..." Kari's eyes narrowed. "You only like me because I remind you of her, don't you?" Oni had not pre-meditated an answer for this. For this conversation. For this moment. "In the tower... You completely disregarded me! You only saw Saluse and attacked me! Baka...!" Tears were beginning down her cheeks again. "Do you try to kill someone you love!? I don't want you love if that's the case!"

"But I didn't!!" Oni pointed out. "I couldn't! When the final blow came, I stopped and put down my sword, I couldn't! Do you remember that!?"

"By only a second! You would've killed me so thoughtlessly!!"

"But I didn't!" Oni pushed himself forward, shoving Kari to the ground where he towered over her. Slight fear swelled in her eyes, but he did nothing but pin her down and look at her. "I did not, because I couldn't. I couldn't, because I love you. And now..." He gritted his teeth. "I realize... _I don't love Saluse one hundredth as much as I love you_!"

"... Eyeh..." Kari bit her lips, and the tears conquered her faces and ever caused her nose to run. "Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Wahhhhhhh!!"

"K-Kari!!" Oni immediately got off her, and snatched a tissue box from the table beside him. Pulling flurry of tissues from the box, he swiftly handed them to her. After ten minutes of crying, she seemed to settle... "Are you done crying?"

"... B... Bes..." Her face was red, her eyes were gushy, and her nose was running terribly. Taking the tissues, she blew her nose and wiped her face, slowly returning to a fair pale color. "Oni... I'm sorry."

"N-Nani? Why?" Oni crouched low, and tried keeping eye contact with her at all times. "You didn't do anything..."

"You tried apologizing so many times... and I ignored you because I was jealous of Saluse... I've become a terrible person...!"

"... Heh," His laugh made Kari jerk her head his way. "If you started dating someone, you DO realize I would blow them up after turning them into a worm and frying them half to death?"

"..." (0.o) Kari's eye twitched for a second.

"Of course, that's AFTER I tie them to the clock tower in their underwear."

"Pffft...!" Kari clenched her eyes shut, but couldn't help but laugh. "Aha... Ahahaha! You're supposed to dip them in honey first and then in feathers!"

"And do da chicken dance?" Oni did a small dance making her grin. "Apology accepted?" He held a hand out, but gasped as she hugged him.

"Yeah... but I'll kick your ass if you do something like this again."

"..." Oni's face contorted at the thought of penalty kicks. "... I love a girl who almost spays me every time she kicks me... That makes me sound like a masochist."

"?"

"One who enjoys pain..." Oni responded... and then grew that one faithful smile. "But _you_ can beat you up as muchas you like."

"... I don't feel like hugging you anymore..."

* * *

(1)Nani- What (Japanese)

(2)Arigato- Thank-you (Japanese)

* * *

Author- Sorry for the wait, I've just hadn't been able to sit down and type lately... (Sigh) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter... (Sigh) And I hope you like the next few chapters... (Siiiiigh)

Majora- ... Even your sighs are annoying. (Irritated twitch)

Author- I can't...! ... (Sigh) I can't help it... (Sigh)

Majora- ... And now you're depressed. Great. I'm working under an EMO.

Author- What!? I am not emo! I don't go suicidal like SOME people!! ... (Sigh) I'm kinda tired... My mom threw this party and is working me dead... And my homework... and my boredom... Make sure to find me a good grave? Please? (Sigh)

Majora- (under breath: Or a nice coral reef for the fish) Right. (Cough cough) Have you ever thought that there IS a tomorrow?

Author- ... (sigh)

Majora- ... (twitchy, twitchy) ... THAT'S IT! You are too depressed! It's NOT normal!! (Grabs by collars) By the end of today, I WILL have you back to normal or so help me I will KILL you!

Author- ... (literally being dragged) So you're actually gonna try to help us... Someone's getting nicer.

Majora- ... Am not. (Hmph)

Author- ... Are too.

Majora- Am not...!

Author- Are too! (Smile)

Majora- ARE NOT! (Let's go of Author) And you know it!

Author- That you're being nicer? Yeah! (sticks out tongue)

Majora- Are not!

Author- Are too!

Majora- Am not!

Author- Am not!

Majora- Are too!

Author- AHA! I KNEW IT! (happy dance)

Majora- ... I hate you.

Author- What? You're missing the fangirls?

Majora- (E GASP!) N-No! Don't you da-

Author- Hey laaadies! Mr. Majorry's back!! (hundreds of fangirls come)

Majora- ... You're so mean...

...

Majora- I like it.

Author- 0o... ATTACK!! (Runs away during confusion)

Oni- ... Llama says what?

(You know, I particularly proud of myself for this chapter... I'm not so depressed anymore! Seeing Majora's guts makes me happy... Er erm, anyway, I'm dedicating this chapter to Mudstar111, happy late birthday mi major magia!!)


	22. TS20: Manarosa

Author: Extra Big Bonus Section today to make up for the non-writing period!!

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

"Eh? You didn't know?" Hanz folded his arms after setting down a stack of freshly chopped lumber. "Yeah, the day we saved Kari, it was her birthday." Oni set down the wood he had collected. _You've got to be kidding me...! So... on her birthday... _Oni sighed. _Man, I really got to make it up to her... I want to... _"Of course, I bet she's happy you two just made up, though. She hates losing friends."

"I won't make her worry about that anymore..." Oni dipped his head. _But what? What could I do to make it up to her...? Kari is... the unquoted type. She's not like most girls I've experienced... Aw man! There are more girl personalities than there are stars in the sky! _"Hey, Hanz, I'm going somewhere... I'll help you collect more lumber later, mmk?"

"Sure."

(In Town!)

"Oiiiii! Ogenki desu ka?" (1) Noisily- as always- Oni opened the door and entered the purchase room of the flower shop. Instantly surrounded with an invisible aroma, Oni sneezed. "_Achoo_!"

"One might think you're allergic to pollen and such, Oni," Kari came out from the back room, holding a large brown pot. As she walked by with it, Oni leapt back; it was the same kind of pot that made him break out in hives last time. (Oni: NEVA AGAIN!) "So..." Setting the pot down carefully, as it was made out of a thin clay, Kari clapped the dust off her hands before facing Oni. "What's up? Do you need something?"

"No..." Oni leaned his back against the counter and folded his arms. Then, he grinned like an idiot, totally screwing up the cool image he had just created. "I was wondering if you'd go somewhere with me."

"..." Kari stared at him blankly. Very blankly... Did I mention blankly? "I... AM at work, Oni."

"I-I know!" Oni gaped before waving his hands in the air. "Uhh...What I mean is..." _Dmn it. This never was this hard before... _His ears burned red and he scratched above his nose. "I mean, I... I missed your birthday, before..." The room fell silent... then Kari shuffled.

"Mrs. Darins! I'm taking off work for the rest of the day, I'll come back tomorrow bright and early!" As an older woman's reply agreed, Kari took off her apron and hung it on the coat rack. "Where? And it better not be a hotel..."

"Agh! No-no-no! ... Although that would be nice..." Oni sighed while shrugging. "I thought we'd go on a walk! I actually want to show you something." _The secret spot... Please don't scold me from heaven Major! _"And it has nothing to do with my little fantasies, I promise."

"... Fine... let's hope your promises can be trusted..." Kari was first to walk out the door, slouching, but Oni swore he saw a slight smile on her face; that made him grin.

"100 percent! All the way!"

...

Coming upon a snowy hill, the wind grew stronger and its gusts were caustically cold. As Kari shivered, cursing secretly for not grabbing her jacket, Oni found the surreptitious entrance and crouched. Watching Oni quietly, Kari fell still, while Oni muttered a single ancient word. "_Manarosa._" _KRRR! _The very earth in front of him slid to the side revealing those familiar stairs and, coming from the spot, was a faint disappearing scent of Majora.

"Oh, wow!" Kari's jaw dropped. "How neat, is this one of your hang-outs, Oni?"

"Y... Yeah, something like that," Oni held out a hand, and guided Kari carefully into the underground lair. "This place actually was- ..." _Majora, you're even troublesome when you're dead...! _Oni thought good-spiritedly. "I discovered it when I read this one scripture of ancient Termina language. This place was basically a hide-away for kings, queens, princes, princesses, and-"

"And the sun and moon brothers?" Kari was kneeling down by the wall, and pointed to a little sketch on the wall; Oni had drawn Majora and himself, rather poorly, on the walls when he was little. "It's cute, you two were really close at one time, what happened?"

"W-Well..." Oni rubbed his head while sitting down on the floor, Kari joining him shortly afterwards. "Different subject for another time, remember, we're here to focus on your birthday anyway!" He forced a smile, and scratched his ear nervously.

"... And what's this place have to do with me...? Or my birthday...?"

"You don't get it?" Oni folded his arms. "This place is your birthday present." Kari gasped softly, and then he proceeded. "I wanted to give you a place where you could hang out for some solitude or something... You never seem to relax. And..." Majora's words came to him. "If you're ever sad... Come here. Come here and I hope you'll remember everything you loved or love still. Come here and remember anything you can't think about anywhere else. And er... Come here and think about me some time, I'd appreciate it." He flashed a kind cocky smile and Kari cracked up:

"Think about you? It's too hard to get _away_ from you!"

"... O rly?" Oni raised one eyebrow and a rather promiscuous smirk. "If you can't get away..." His better judgment, his mind, his heart, and... something else (cough cough) made him rub his arm against hers suggestively but then he stopped when he caught an unwelcomed glare. "Or... You could just keep kicking me around till my (bleep) fall off."

"..." Kari nearly fell over coughing with laughter, yet also with embarrassment. "You bring it upon yourself...!"

"I'm just a guy that... loves girls _a lot_. I just want to _share_ this love," He beamed, making her shake her head, but with a smile. "But..." He stretched. "I haven't wanted to do that with anyone else lately." _They're just no fun anymore... Man! Oni! What happened to you? _He thought with a frown. _Those late parties, drunk and having fun with the ladies... __**Chu**__. _He suddenly froze up, only the muscle in his cheek fidgeting. "Wait, did you just...?" But Kari was walking towards the entrance, her long hazel hair swaying behind her.

"Coming?" She stopped, only for a moment, and looked back at him once before heading up the stairs.

"..." His jaw hung ajar, hanging to the floor as he followed absent-mindedly. That girl. That CRAZY girl. He fell for her and... She... fell for him? Falling? Had fallen? Fighting his urges to go hug her to death, he slowly rose to his feet... where he then exploded. "HEY! Wait! You can't just run away after that!" Rocketing after her with a big goofy grin, he tackled her to the floor and a rough hug. "Ka-r-i, Ka-r-i, you just kis-sed meh!" Squeezing her tightly, a playful and childish look emerged on his face and he rubbed his cheek against hers. Meanwhile, Kari twitched, a vein beginning to pulse immensely on her forehead:

"Yeah! And I'm about to neuter you if you don't let go!!"

"Oh? But that'd be so mean...!" He put on a frown as he let go of her and both got to their feet. "And then..." Raising a finger scientifically, Kari feared the worse and grabbed at her ears: "Then we couldn't make those ninety-six kids!"

"!!" Jaw dropping to the floor, Kari had been slapped with red paint and she gazed at him, with no mind between her ears. Finally, she smacked her forehead. "YOU. ARE. TOO. MUCH."

"I'm too sexy for meh shirt, that's life babe!" He shrugged rather promiscuously with his special smirk.

"W-Whatever...!" Jerking away, Kari began off towards home. "Let's just head back, I've had enough of a birthday thrown by Oni than I can handle...!"

"What? But I didn't even get to pop out of a cake nude!"

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN!!" -starts walking fast-

"Karrriii! Don't be mad at me, I only exist to give you pleasure!" -chases-

"DEAR GOD LEAVE ME ALONE!" -runs-

"God? Now THERE'S some power I can use to please you!"

"..." -gives up running, smacks forehead- "And now you're gonna start rambling about why being a god gives you a wonderful sex life, aren't you?"

"I didn't plan to but..." Sprouting an angelic- yet completely insinuatingly- smile, Oni hugged her once more: "But now that you mention it, I think someone could use a demo-stra-tion!!"

"Someone needs a cas-tra-tion!" Even with the argument though, they both ended up laughing. Together. Under a scarlet sky during an uncommon warm winter evening.

--

Ogenki desu ka How are you?

--

Author: Today I report to you, after a long period of non-writing online gaming, with the newest chapter, and bonus section to my current favorite story: True Self. Currently, I'm residing at my deluxe writing studio an-

Majora: Deluxe writing studio? We're in your ROOM for Pete's sake! You've got old video games and hoodies scattered everywhere!

Author: And I've just discovered Majora loves some girl named Pete... WAIT! –Drops all formalities- How the heck is a girl named Pete!? Oh wait... I never knew you rolled that way Majorry!

Majora: (eye twitching, vein pulsing)

Author: Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and-

Oni: (bursts through door) Shut up! And Sleep with me! Come on, why don't you sleep with me! (I-pod playing loudly in Oni's ears)

Majora: W... T...

Author: FUDGE NUGGETS!? ONI! You will NOT sing that crap in MY room! (I'd like to take this moment to say: I don't hate the song) Bum bad a BUM! (Suddenly tied blanket on like a cape) DIE! (Tackles Oni in fierce attempt to grab i-pod)

Oni: ZOMG! (I-pod is taken away but Author is on Oni in... a suggestive position) The song **works**!

Author: W-WHAT!? (Leaps off and smashes I-pod) No way! I wasn't-

Oni: (big goofy grin) Author lady looooves me. Author lady wants to f-

Author: Hey hey hey! We have kids reading this story!

Majora: ... Oh, the stupid ones who don't pay attention to the labels. People of the crowd: T means Teen.

Author: They're not stupid! They're precious readers... (sniffle)

Majora: Oh no... You're not going to go into one of those crazy reviewer speeches are y-

Author: I'd like to thank my best friend Haley! (In tears) For supplying hilarious ideas! And my mom... For not calling me every two seconds like normally! (loud obnoxious crying) And my computer! For letting me kick it for freezing up! Don't forget the-

Majora: The author of this story does not own the Legend of Zelda, or any of its characters. Currently, she's having a speech break down and the broadcast will have to discontinue. Please stand by for the inconvience... Come on you bag of leers, tears, and evil gears, I think there's tissue in the bathroom... (leading Author out of room)

Oni: ... Is this thing on? (taps microphone) BY SWEET GOD IT IS! ... Um... Uh... (ding-dong!) This is a special message to all my many admirers! (Grabs new I-pod from who knows where and attaches it to computer)

...

_"Shut up_

_and sleep with me_

_Come on why don't you sleep with me!"_

_..._

Oni: Boo-yah.

Majora/Author (From restroom): OOoonnnIIIiiII!!

Oni: You're only angry because I'm disturbing your Majorry Author time!! (runs away) ... (runs back, puts song on loop, then runs away again.) Shut up! And sleep with me! Come on why don't you sleep with me!?

(Shut Up and Sleep With Me by Sin With Sebastian)

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

P.S. Thanks for reviewing everyone, and please continue, the reviews really inspire me! Also, thanks to Onigirl personally for your reading, and I hope you keep enjoying!


	23. TS21: Burn

_"Do you feel pain Oni?" A small light twinkled in the dark vortex, yet its light could not prevail against the darkness._

_"...? Wha... W-... Where am I...? Everything's so... dark..." Oni squinted, why did this light seem so bright in this dank place? "Who... Who are you...?"_

_"Do you feel pain Oni?" The voice echoed quietly, a voice he faintly knew as familiar yet distance. "Do you feel love? Pain? Do you feel the cold winter breeze... and the summer's warm whisper...?"_

_"I... do..." Oni remained in one spot, hovering in the oblivion. "But not... pain... I feel only... her..." Kari passed through his mind. "Pain? When will I feel pain?" Just then, a violent shock rushed through Oni's body and he arched in an awkward position as it electrified his body. "W-What's happening!?"_

_"Do you feel pain, my son...?"_

_"W-What!?" The shock's pain grew lesser by these words. By these words he became so entranced. "M... Mother..!?" The light grew dim, darkness eating it and loud shouts erupted from the nothingness. "Mother!? Where are you going!?" By the pain, Oni stretched a hand out as far as he could. "Don't go! Don't leave me alone...! Don't leave Majora alone! Don't leave mother!"_

_"Do you feel... p..." The voice faded and the very darkness began eating away at his lips, making him scream in agony. "Pain... my son..."_

_"D-Don't..! GO!" Hands grabbed at him, his clothing being torn yet not as painfully as his heart._

_"There he is! There's the beast!" A man's voice paraded in the darkness. "He and his brother are here to kill our children! Kill them both! Now! HURRY!"_

_"ONI! MAJORA! RUN!" A women's voice, his mother's, screamed with panic as the mob of angry townspeople marched through the small farm area, burning the barn and setting fire to the fields. "RUN! R- AHHH!!" A shrill cry burst out and Oni saw his younger self, led by Majora, flee the godforsaken most horrifying event. "Oni... majora... My sons..."_

_"Mother!" The young Oni began crying uselessly while his knees buckled causing Majora to scoop him up and continue to run. "Momma! Momma! Momma!" Out of nowhere, something switched within the three year old, and his eyes burned with a fierce red rage. From the sky, loud cracks came and dimensions swirled releasing hideous monsters onto Termina. With this, huge meteors the size of houses beat down on the land. "MOOMMMYYYY!!"_

_"No! No more!" The matured Oni screamed, tears boiling in his eyes, and his heart scorched with hurt. "No more! Mother! Come back! Mother! Mother! Mo-"_

"Oni!!"

_"Mother! Don't leave! Mother!! Please!"_

"Oni!!"

"_Mother...!! Why...!?"_

"ONI!" Suddenly, Oni awoke in cold sweats in the small farm shack called a home by Grandma Beck and Kari. Eyes wide, and heart rapidly pounding in his chest, he felt alone, deserted, and without anyone. Just then, though, two warm, soft arms curled around him, pulling him into an embrace... "Oni! It's ok...! It was just a nightmare, it's ok...!"

"..." It took a few moments, but then Oni recognized the comfort as Kari. Swallowing hard, he rest his head on her head and gently grabbed a lock of long chestnut hair. _She's here... She's here. She'll be here. She's with you._ Oni told himself as he used his other arm to pull her closer. As many times before, he wished he could forever hold her like this, if not tighter. "K... Ka... ri..." Her name alone was mere magic.

"It's ok, Oni," Kari bit her lip, only could she imagine what his nightmare was about. He screeched for his mother, he yelled out for Majora, she knew it was about his past, but she dared not to think how painful it was to relive the traumatizing experience in his sleep. "It was a bad dream, a horrible one. You're ok, you're here, I'll protect you..."

"Ha... ha..." Oni tried to make light of the situation. "I should be..." Swallowing once more, he tried bringing confidence in his voice. "I should be the one... I should be the one..." The dried up tears began to fall again. "Don't leave me Kari...!" He squeezed the strand of hair. "Please don't...!" Kari clenched her eyes shut tightly as she let her head fall against his chest.

"Never Oni," A tear even came from her as she spoke. "I'll never leave you alone." Though, she somehow knew this to be impossible. While Oni regained himself, Kari sighed, and thought over the past year and everything about Oni came to her. He was a god; he was a god with a sad past; he was a god who lost many... and...

_**He was immortal.**_

Kari, quite aware of the situation, frowned. She was a seventeen year old girl from Termina; she was a peasant, she was no goddess, no creature of no mortality... She was...

_**She was mortal.**_

Yet, although Kari knew it, she couldn't just leave him there to cry... She couldn't just leave him alone... Not now, not as long as she remained in the place she knew as her world. _Ugh... How could I get caught in this pervert's web...? _She gazed into empty space, her eyes blank. _This idiotic immature man... How could I be drawn... _She looked up at his eyes, white, glowing eerily in the moonlight. _To you...? To you who I was taken away by... To you who kidnapped me... To you who countlessly tried my strong will... Yet, here I am, hugging you. Kari, Kari, Kari... You've let yourself go but... I can't find any reason wrong with this... I've really... for this man..._

"Kari?" Oni's quiet voice crept into her ear drums and the hair on the back of her neck rose from his calmed breath.

"Yes, Oni?"

"If I had to go through life again..." He paused, but then smiled weakly. "I would give up the god's gift to me for you any day."

"Hey, hey, stop focusing on the pick-up lines and lame seducing," She grinned up at him, suddenly aware of how tall he was to her. His eyes flickered blissfully, playfully; the Oni she knew everyday was breaking through the sad spell. "Why don't I go get you water? And something to eat, I bet you'd love an orange right now, huh?" She snapped her fingers before getting up. When she headed to the door though, a sweaty palm snatched her wrist.

"I'd... I'd love for you to stay... with me." _S-Sweet talking son of a gun...! _Kari's jaw dropped while her face flushed a deep red. Her legs began to grow weak under her, and it took almost all the strength she had to walk back beside the bed and sit down beside him. Turning a deep purple, she sucked in a deep breath- as much as she could possibly carry in her lungs. This only brought a small smile to his face, "You're... embarrassed."

"W-What!? I-I-I am not!" She scowled momentarily before stopping herself. _Stuttering! I can't believe it! How WEAK are you Kari!?_

"I think it's cute," He placed a hand on her head. "Thank-you for staying, Kari."

"What was I supposed to do? Just walk out after waking you up...?" She looked away, determined to not please him with her blushes. "I see you're the same as ever." What happened next happened too fast for her mind to take in...! Oni fell forward his body weight and bare chest crushing her, lightly, if you will. His hands wrapped around her fists while he planted a soft, quick kiss on her lips and, like always Kari froze up with a stupefied expression on her face. As he went to kiss her again, he grew an expression so agonized it made Kari snap out of it. Falling to the ground, he wavered swiftly on the wood flooring, grabbing at his back. "O-Oni!!"

"AHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHH! WHAT IS THIS?!" He screamed in sheer pain. Ripping through the material, Kari helped remove the shirt and then stumbled back, hitting the floor with a "thunk" as she stared in horror. Oni let out a low whimper as he slowly rose and moved to the mirror... seeing it, he also gasped. In the upper left shoulder area, a strange scar shaped like an "O" had appeared, and Oni's flesh still burned from the unknown imprint. "What the h3ll is this...?" A sweat drop shot down his forehead while Kari moved behind him.

"A big... O...? Oni, are you alright?" With one finger, she traced the shape, but immediately withdrew as he flinched. "I'm going to get Grandma Beck right no-"

"No! No...!" He veered towards her. "No one will know of this but you and I, alright? Please, Kari...!"

"B-But Oni...! Grandma Beck knows great herb techniques and could help...!" Kari protested, but Oni cut her short again as she began another reason:

"I'd rather not have people thinking I somehow get strange marks appearing on me... I've already caused enough omens in one lifetime...!" His voice was curt, and Kari knew he still shaken by his dream. "Please Kari...! I beg this of you..." Sliding to the floor, his hands gripped the sides of her dress as he bowed his head. "Please keep this a secret."

"..." Grinding her teeth, she hesitated... "FINE, but I'm NOT gonna like it...!"

"Thank-you!" He shot up and rocketed forward onto her, forcing her on the bed. "Besides, it's not like it'll hinder anything we say or do... Unless you're one of the clawing types."

...

"Oh god, just get off you cretin...!" She huffed and pushed him away before getting up. "I'm going to get some medical cream, so just don't do anything stupid...!"

"Does stupid include mastu-"

"YES! Like I wanna walk in on that!!" While she stormed out of the room, he beamed a cat-like grin and yelled after her:

"Oh, you know you want it!" Chuckling, he collapsed back on the bed, but then turned over on his stomach from the pain... _This mark... _

_..._

_Is it what I think it is?_

--

Author: Ok... GEEZ! That chappie was a tear jerker!

Majora: Women...

Author: (anime vein, hits with keyboard) Anyway! Today, I'm gonna say how I relate to the characters' personalities I've developed for them... Not sure how to though, considering how you guys are all insane!

Oni: Not insane, just in need of being laid!

Majora: Speak for yourself, idiot! (hits with rolled up newspaper) Anyway, hurry up, I wanna go home...

Author: Meanies... Ok! For starters, I'll compare myself to... Kari! She's the most normally one around here!

Kari: Unlike you three (cough, cough)

Author: I came up with Kari's personality when I wanted someone to beat the living h3ll out of Oni! It was actually in sixth grade, three years ago, that I developed this story! :o Anyway, for Kari, I have to say... I'm a little tom-boyish, like her, and I hate dressing up and... Moving on! You bore me! Majora! ...

Majora: Oh, boy... (sighs)

Author: I can have that evil side that makes me glare at people when they're not looking... (muwhahaha...) Wait, no way! I'm totally angelic! (MUWHAHAHAH! MUWHAHA BUWHAH!) I guess... I... hmmm... You're modeled more after mental image of a fan-girl's dream bad guy.

Majora: ... A handsome bad guy, I seem to suit the palette (cocky grin)

Author: Crap! He's turning into Oni! Uhhh... (grabs an evil staff) Evil compels you! Evil compels you! (beating Majora on head)

Majora: IF YOU DO NOT STOP HITTING ME ON THE HEAD, SO HELP ME I WILL-

Author: Yay! (hugs) Moving on! ... Oni.

Majora: (is burning from loving hug)

Kari: You can relate to him...? (grabs tape recorder)

Author: I suppose... I make a lot of stupid jokes sometimes... Not really what Oni jokes about tho... (book drops on head) Ow! That was hard!

Oni: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! (bursts in laughter)

Author: ... He's more based off of this friend I had in eighth grade... (starts daydreaming) Huu... Majora, you finish this up, I'm gonna make me some ramen! (runs off)

Majora: While the author goes off to MAKE US ALL RAMEN, (yells to kitchen) I'd like to take this time to... to tell the audience a few important things. One: We are low on script ideas. We need more idiotic ideas to keep Kari smacking Oni. Two: What should we do in the next bonus chapter? And three: if you're hoping for a lemon in this story, you can forget about it. Rated T for Teen, this story probably has kids viewing it as well and the author refuses to defile her honor by writing such lustful... uh... "art."

Oni: WHAT!? No lemons!? What the heck did I sign up for!? Kari! Let's go (bleep) in the bathroom!

Kari: (jaw drop) NO WAY! (kicks in family jewels) P-Pervert...!

Majora: (grins as Oni falls to ground in pain) Ill never tire of that...

Author: Oh yeah! (standing near Oni who is in fetal position) The series might be ending soon... Sorry guys! I don't know how much more of this I can keep up... No matter how great this stuff is! (fake cries) Anyway, I've already got the ending planned in my head, and you'll all love it, trust me! However, I might try to go to thirty chapters... You're the audience, on what chapter should I stop? 30? 40? 50? Post in ya reviews!!

Majora/Oni/Kari/Author: And now, please run away in time for commercials! See ya!


	24. TS22: A BIG Question

"N-Nani? You're... leaving...?" The words seemed to echo against the flower shop's tiled floors while Kari froze in her movements. "W... What do you... _mean_?" Trying to sound casual, she forced herself to turn towards him with an uninterested face. However, this must have not deceived him:

"Haha, no worries my dear!" Oni stretched. "When I say leaving, I'm only going on a little trip! I'll probably be back in a few days... Week at most." He held up a finger scientifically. However, this serious posture gave way to a grinning Oni. "But, if you're so worried, I could always take you with."

"W-What!?! Worried!?! Who's _worried!?!_" She growled and veered away, stomping off to grab another sack of seeds to organize. (Even though it's winter, the flower shop still sells winter herbs and winter flowers.) "I was just wondering if I'd be rid of you yet...!"

"Sure, Kari, sure," He laughed, but then winked playfully. "Well, I'm gonna leave today... Seeing as a high being such as myself needs no preparation! See ya, love!" Turning with a wave, he sauntered to the door-

"O-Oni! Wait a minute...!"

"Yes, my little blue jay?" After this comment, Kari's eyes grew narrow before she shook her head in dismay and continued:

"How is..." She folded her arms. "How is it?"

"It?" He cocked his head, confused. Then, a light bulb went off in his head and he patted his hips. "No worries, I can still have kids! So, when I get back, let's play love doc-"

"Not THAT 'it,' you idiot!!!" Kari screeched while covering her ears; this guy was too much! "I meant..! I meant..." She grew quiet. "How is the burn mark?" Silence was next to follow while Oni reached over his shoulder and gently pressed where the disturbing scab resided. Sighing as he felt the strange marks, he shook his head and then, finally, turned to her with a smile.

"Don't worry," He shrugged, and felt a little pain in doing so. "It's just something us gods go through every so often... Think of it like..." He rubbed his chin and then, a big goofy grin sprouted on his face, making her flinch. "Think of it like a _woman's _monthly gift from mother nature. Although, this comes every few centuries. Really, so... See ya! Chao!" Hurrying out the door, he wanted to make sure Kari couldn't tell he had lied... If the mark was anything... it had to be _that_.

Kari returned behind the cash register and sat down, unsatisfied. _Every so often? Yeah right, Oni... _She winced and rested her head on the desk, her eyes starting to wander off. _What... is happening to you? And... _

...

"Love doctor!?! **WHAT THE H3LL IS THAT CRAP**!?!?!?!"

(Meanwhile...)

_Clak, cluk, clak._ The large horse's hooves strummed a song out of the ground as it ran across a dirt road. Behind the reins, Oni leaned forward with delight as the horse sped up and leapt over a fallen log. About mid-day, Oni departed from Clock Town with the sun just barely touching the tip of nearby majestic mountains. Destination? You'll have to wait a few dimension hops and twists to find out.

Yet, finally- after an hour of travel- Oni pulled the reins to have the magnificent beast slow amid many leafless coniferous trees. Carefully slipping from the saddle, Oni dismounted and then walked over to a set of four trees that formed a diamond. From his pockets, he pulled four things: a deku nut, a bottled fish, a magical snowball that never melts, and a bone dirtied by sand of Ikana. Setting the deku nut by the south tree, bottled fish by west, snowball to the north, and bone to the east, Oni rubbed his head, wandering why these items were so crucial. Nonetheless, Oni proceeded in pulling out a silver ocarina with strange ancient symbols on it. Hesitating to blow on it, a pain from his shoulder made him sigh and begin.

First, his index finger covered the first whole and he blew gently, producing a low sound close to that of the wind blowing through the mountains. Then, he played the second and third hole, making two medium sounds that danced with each other. Around him, the grass began glowing as he continued to the forth note and started an entire melody. Suddenly, the wind began blowing roughly and the air grew very damp while the four trees began to "stretch" and loom over him. Weird voices began singing the notes alongside Oni, and he knew very well he was not alone at all. Finishing the song peacefully, he lowered the ocarina from his lips and looked up.

"It's been awhile since I've called upon you guys huh?" said Oni quietly.

"Oni...?" One of the four giants, the southern swamp one, lowered himself among the trees, sitting down. "Normally... you flee at our call... Yet you call us with the oath of order?" The other tall giants sat down.

"I've got... a little question for you guys..." Oni folded his arms. "Hope you weren't busy governing the world or anything..."

"No, we were listening to his lame jokes," The giant from the goron region sighed as he referred to the Great bay giant. "I _am _glad you called, personally... Oh, but anyway." The giant would have blushed if he could as the others shook his head in dismay; the great bay giant 'hmph'ed. The Ikana giant intervened:

"Go on, Oni."

"Um... Ok...?" Oni paused, but then pulled his shirt off. "What the h3ll is this?" Immediately, on queue, the giants gasped together:

"_**DEAR GODDESSES! THAT'S DISGUSTING**_!"

"Yeah, I know," Oni cringed. "So, do you know or not? Otherwise I'll go look it up somewhere else..."

"No, I definitely remember that," Ikana (We're just gonna call them by region) swayed his head back and forth. "But how did it appear on you...? Oni, something tells me you know what it is."

"..." Oni sat down on a boulder. "It's... from not doing my 'job', isn't it?"

"..." All giants fell silent.

"Because I'm not skipping between dimensions keeping maintenance on the world, the self-destruct sequence you giants installed in Majora and myself is ticking... It started from Majora's death, didn't it?" Oni winced. "At this rate, I will get a new burn mark every single day at midnight, and eventually the scars will engulf my body. By the time they do, I will suddenly be torn apart by unreal forces and disappear into nothingness. Then... I'll cease to exist, am I right?"

"..." The giants remained quiet.

"It was made to ensure... that..." Swamp frowned. "That the guardians of this world while we were away wouldn't completely eradicate Termina. However, it shouldn't have taken affect until more deaths and Terminan cries for help... Not to mention, another ten centuries or so... Oni, have you been doing anything bad?"

"What? Define bad?" Oni cocked his head. "I've been hanging around Clock Town living day by day! Is that..." Oni felt his heart sink. Would this mean he'd have to leave? "Bad?"

"My word! No, it couldn't be!" Snow gaped. "We specifically set our standards... However, I must ask. Have you had to fight lately? Dark magic...?"

...

...

...

"Crap," Oni's head fell. "B-But! That _wasn't_ my fault! Kari got abducted by this evil clan, and- and...! I had to save her but... I ran into a shape shifter... and..." He fell silent. Saluse... "Bad memories, but I can say it honestly, it was **NOT** my fault!"

"... Would it be bad to tell you, _we_ can't even control the process eating away at your body?"

"WHAT!?!"

"Oni, we set the disease into place... So no one could change it. No one," Ocean rubbed his hand over the canopy of the trees. "We wanted to make sure, that even if one of us was corrupted or something horrible happened..." Oni grimaced weakly:

"So... I will die soon." ... The group fell dead silent. His words were true, and there was... nothing they could do.. or...

"Wait, I have something to say," spoke the Bay Giant.

--

Kari waved good-bye to her boss as she hung her apron on an oak coat rack. Near sundown, her shift was over and she left the flower shop close to five-forty. Instantly buffeted with a chilling breeze, compelling her to wrap her arms around herself. _I hate winter_. She concluded as she began the short trail home. _Always coming back to bother me, you're so cruel winter. So cruel... But..._ She paused as snow began to fall. _Oni... You're not telling me something._

"Kari? What are you doing standing there in the freezing cold? It's forty degrees!!!"

"H-Huh?" Kari snapped to and turned to face Hanz. "Oh, just... thinking... I forgot you live in town, Hanz!"

"..." Hanz folded his arms, but then opened the door. "Wanna come inside? You look weird standing in the cold."

"**Hanz**! Who's here?" A middle age women appeared in the door, Hanz's mother. "Oh! Kari! Come inside, want some stew?"

"N-No! I-I'm fine, honest!" Kari was overwhelmed by the hospitality and took a step back. "I promised to make Grandma Beck a good dinner today, maybe some other time; I'll bring her over, too... See ya!" Waving with a smile, the friendly faces returned the favor as she walked away. Hanz then frowned. He knew she wanted to make it home to Oni. Finally coming upon the cozy cottage, Kari slipped inside and shut the door quietly. "Grandma Beck, I'm home!"

"Alright! Get you boyfriend in here and help me make some mashed potatoes!!!"

"G-Grandma!!!!" Kari gasped, and thanked her lucky stars Oni wasn't there to say something stupid! "He's not my boyfriend!!!!"

"Sure, sure, whatever, but hurry up, these potatoes don't kill themselves!" Grandma Beck called from the kitchen. Sighing, Kari carefully pulled her feet from her winter shoes and headed to the kitchen, tying on yet another apron. "Huh? Where's that silver hair god of yours? Gone off to find some more faster beat women?"

"G-Grandma..." Kari groaned, knowing she'd be hearing more of this, and grabbed a potato. "He went off on a trip.." _Probably something to do with that back of his... _She sighed. Grandma Beck observed this, and smiled.

"Someone's missin' someone," She hummed cheerfully.

"Am not!" Kari smashed the potato with rage. "I mean, who'd miss a perverted idiot who no respect for others boundaries like him!?! Peeysh! Yeah right!" Then she fell quiet, finding it hard to defend herself anymore. "And we're NOT dating Grandma Beck, we're just _friends_."

"Hopefully not _friends with benefits_," Grandma Beck remarked. "I don't want you having kids till you're married to a respectable man!"

"..." Kari thought of Oni. _Respectable? On a scale of one to ten... Does the scale go to negatives?_

"But you're not dating? Honestly?" Grandma Beck rubbed her head. "You two are always hanging out with each other though; laughing and talking happily. I hear you went somewhere with him the other day."

"What?! From who!?!" _Whoever told is gonna get my fury!! That punk...!_

"Hanz," Grandma Beck grew quiet. "I feel sorry for the boy."

"What? Why? Is something wrong with Hanz?" Kari bit her lip, she had just blown him off too...!

"What? You don't kn- No, never mind, it's nothing," Grandma Beck laughed nervously. "But anyway... A lot of people around town think you are pretty tight, Kari. Kari and the god. That's what I hear when I walk through town..."

"...!" _Oh no...! I've shamed you, haven't I Grandma?_

"But you know what? I yell at them: H3LL YEAH! IM GONNA HAVE KILLER GRANDBABIES!!!!!!" (Kari: -anime fall-) That's when the front door closed, making the two look towards it.

"Grandbabies...?" Oni raised a brow cautiously, unsure whether he should enter, or turn around and leave again. "Killer grandbabies?"

"N-N-N-N-N-N-" Kari kept stuttering, unable to spit out any words. "NANI!?!?!?!?!"

"I never knew you had any bodybuilder siblings, Kari! Grats!" With this reaction, both Grandma Beck and Kari's jaws dropped, dumbstruck. "But, what did I miss?"

"What'd you miss, you were only gone a few hours!" Kari turned to the potato she was working on, and began smashing it anxiously. "A few days you said... Tuh!" She grunted.

"Grandma Beck, can I ask you to leave the room for a moment?" This request made Kari once again drop the potato. Grandma Beck hesitated, but nodded and "left" the room. (Eavesdropping.) "Kari, I have something very important to ask you..."

"W-What...?" Kari felt fear sink in. _Oh god, something important? At this time of day?! _She accidently squeaked._ In a kitchen!?! Oni, don't you dare propos-_

"What would you do..." His eyes flickered strong, yet gently. "_What would you do if I was human_?"

--

Author: Man, I got some history of Termina stuff in here... (Made up by me) And not to mention, captured Oni's personality pretty darn well. I applaud myself! (Grins)

Majora: ... To think a girl is writing this perverted stuff, you must have _quite _the "mind" between your ears.

Author: I notice sarcasm when I hear it bucko! (Hits) I used to have this friend, who was a pervert... A funny one at that! He made us all laugh... Darn the other high school for stealing him away (cringes)

Majora: Another sob story for another time... Where are Kari and Oni?

Author: Kari's trying to escape the "love doctor."

(Outside)

Kari: LEAVE ME THE H3LL ALONE PERVERT! (Loud smacking noises)

Oni: Ouches! If you want we can do a private check-up!

(More smacking noises, inside)

Majora: ... How in the world am I related to this... This...!

Author: Imbecile?

Majora: yes! And why the heck did-

Author: The gods make him how he is?

Majora: ... You know, that's kind of creepy.

Author: You're forgetting, Majorry, I write this story. I control your actions. I control your thoughts. Your urges. You being beat with a rock.

Majora: ...

...

Majora: You're so mean!!! (Runs off crying)

Author: Fan girls! We have a run-a-way Majora! It looks like... Backyard exit! Heading towards swampland!.. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, and I hope... Oh screw it, bye-bye! (Watches Majora get tackled to the ground and torn to pieces while eating popcorn)


	25. TS23: El Fin Con Amor

_"What would you do if I was human?" The stern look in his eyes cooked up a storm in the atmosphere surrounding the two. Kari hesitated from this remark, this comment. If... Oni was human? What did it matter? Why was he asking her this...? Quickly turning away, Kari began chopping carrots for the stew and mash potato meal._

_"What do you mean?" She spoke quietly. "You're... Oni anyway you look at it, aren't you?" With this comeback, Kari swore she noticed Oni wince for a mere split second._

_"O-Of course... Just curious...!" He threw her off with a disarming grin and then conversation ended there, instantly._

Kari sat on the couch, her day off, recalling the question again and again and again. _Should I have... said something else? _She rolled on her side, facing the back cushions of the chair. _After all... we've been through... am I really that stupid...?_

_"I LOVE YOU!_"

"Even after I yelled that and slapped him... even when we've been friends so many months... But it didn't even seem real... and..." Kari paused a breath. _But... What was I supposed to say...? I LOVE YOU! YES! BE A HUMAN! ... _She moaned, disgraced at the thought. _B-But even if he became human, it's not like it would lead anywhere... Yeah right!.. _Something inside her wished she had yelled her ridiculous answer, even with Grandma Beck eavesdropping at the archway into the kitchen.

_Was I... wrong?_

--

The fierce deity, not so fierce and godly, sat up on the hill with "Manarosa" on the wind. His legs dangling from the side, Oni absentmindedly gazed at the sky. _Human? Human? Human?_ He silently repeated. _If I was human? I asked... Because... Because I want Kari to decide what she wants... Even if I die... is it this form you like better? No... "You're Oni anyway you look at it." Why... do those words leave me unsatisfied? I should be happy... Yet... _He shook his head, causing a layer of snow to fall to the ground.

_"I have something to say."_

_"Huh? Something to say? I didn't think I got my brains or ideas from you..." Oni said, but listened, nonetheless._

_"Well..." The bay giant folded his arms. "I mean, if you are you, you'll be happy, right? Even if you can't do all the things like warping through dimensions... You've got that one chick, right dude?"_

_"..." Oni stared at the giant in awe, where was he going with this?_

_"I mean... the enchantment on you is on the deity form, yeah?" The giant glanced at the others. "If you were to... I dunno, use that Terminan form of yours... Would it still work?"_

_"By goddesses..." The other giants cooed. "He's got a point Oni!"_

_"You mean... if I remain in this world... as Link?" Oni raised a brow._

_"Well, I mean, I could still pimp out your clothes and hair," The bay giant held up a finger matter-of-factly. "You live, sure your lifespan is reduced, but you only have a few days at this rate. That girl... Kari, right? Even as Link, you were friends."_

_"Friends..."_

"I should be happy with that," Oni folded his arms. "Happy with... being friends," Oni removed his shirt, and traced a finger along another burn mark that popped up the night before. "That makes three. Two left before..." _I'll please Kari till my death... _Oni winced. _Even if it costs me my life._

(The power of love is scary... One night later)

Night grew still as Oni, Kari, and Grandma Beck surrounded the dinner table, rather quiet. It had been a couple days since the first burn mark, about a day or so since Oni's strange question, and the small cottage in the snowy field had a unique atmosphere; it wasn't awkward or mad, but nor was it happy or the spirit of the coming of the New Year. While Kari quietly sawed her steak, Oni used a fork to pick around at his carrots, and Grandma Beck, confused by it all, finally intervened.

"Alright... I'm rather tired today..." She half-lied, she was a little tired. "I'm going to go to bed... Good night Kari, Oni." Washing her plate quickly, Grandma Beck fled the unnerving room to her bedroom down the hall.

"So..." Oni sighed. Ever since his question... He just HAD to ask...

"So," Kari repeated, yet shorter and tighter. Setting down his silverware, she paused before continuing. "How are you?"

"..." Oni half-smiled. _This question always does stop silence..._ "I'm good... You?"

"Fine," Kari dipped her head, and silence infiltrated the room once more. _Kari.. _She sighed. _It's obvious he's having trouble saying anything as well... You've got to keep talking... _"Is Clock Town boring you out?"

"What? Nah!" Oni, relieved that she continued, grinned. "I love Clock Town, it's become my second home... First being the entire universe and dimensions, of course." He beamed, and then stretched. "Clock Town's food is way better than fish."

"I bet!" Kari laughed, remembering the times she had been traveling around Termina with Oni... It made her head rest on her palm. "You were so indifferent to food. No taste whatsoever!"

"I care about certain things..." Oni pointed out, not defensively, but just saying. "I absolutely love strawberries. I love stopping by fields of strawberries when I'm traveling... Of course, that'd get many f-" He froze.

"Oni?" Kari cocked her head. "Hello?" Suddenly, a pained expression broke in his face and he grit his teeth terribly as he fell from his seat. "Oni! Oni, what's wrong!?!" Then it dawned on her. The burn. The mark. Quickly using a knife to cut off the shirt, her hand clasped over her mouth. Several marks. Several circles... All intertwining in small parts to form... "This is..."

"Gaaahhhh!" Oni screeched, and his body shook violently. "Grr...!" Grunting again and again, he was trying to suck up the pain, but knew it was his end. It was over. "Gaaah!!!"

"Oni...! I'm going to get Grandma Beck, stay right he-"

"Don't leave me!" Oni yelled through his closed teeth. "Please...! Kari...!"

"But Oni...!" Kari's eyes flickered with fear... She was completely useless! "What is this!?! What's happening to you!?! Does this have to do with what you asked me!?!" She would have kept interrogating him, but he merely howled in agony, causing her to tense up. "That's it...!" The four giants flashed in her mind... They would know something! Quickly, she helped Oni to his feet and wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders.

_KERACK! _Rain pelted down on the horse as Kari flicked the reins, half holding onto Oni. Lightning lit up the sky several times more garish than the sun bright rays. Racing through the forest, panic swelled in her heart as Oni began moving less and less, and, feeling his heartbeat slow against her back, she blocked the worst thought from her mind.

Coming upon a wide clearing in the trees, where a beautiful lake rocked back and forth from the caustic chilling wind, Kari flew from the horse, tugging Oni as fast as her strength could let her go. Tripping on a rock, shaped from Oni and Majora's battle way-back-when, she winced in pain as her ankle began hurting again. Unable to get up, she clung to him, his body, and his spirit.

"Please!!!! Help me!!! Please...!" She began crying, without even knowing it. "Save him! Don't go, Oni!!!" _Crack_! The thunder grew louder and closer as a lightning bolt struck a tree, causing it to catch fire, even in the merciless rain. "Oni!!! Don't go! You ask me to not leave you but... I can't follow you where you're going!!!!! Don't leave _me_, Oni!!!"

_Thump, thump. Thump, thump... Thump... thump... thu... thump..... th-ump... _Then it ceased. Cold. A heartless chill spread throughout his body, not from the rain, not from the wind, and not from the tears she bled. The sun had fallen into dusk.

"O... Oni...?" Kari froze where she was, there was a chill... A chill she never felt before. "Oni... Oni...! Oni! ONI! ONI!" Her heart was dunked in hysteria and she began shaking the corpse. "Oni, Oni, Oni! Oni! Oni! ONI!" Tears burst from her eyes like fire sparks from a bonfire, and, while one hand clenched the hair on his head, the other rested on his chest, on his heart. "Oni...! Why... didn't you tell me...?" Her voice was cracking, she was cracking, and her heart had cracked. Why? Why hadn't she yelled the ridiculous answer? How she felt... Why had she not...

_Huuu huuu..._ Two low notes filled the air, drowning out the storm and causing Kari to lift her head. _Huuu hee..._ Two higher notes danced in the wind. Everything suddenly went white, and Kari fell against Oni's chest.

_Pheeee... Doo, duuummm, dooo... _Kari found herself standing in nothingness. _An... ocarina...? _Kari rubbed her head. _Where am I...? _A spark of light flashed in her eyes, and she veered to see a little boy holding a silver ocarina, matching the moonlight hair on his head.

"Lady, will you play with me?" The young boy asked, and, using one hand, tugged at her dress. "May I play you a song?" _Oni...? _Kari bent down, seeing straight into the boy's blue eyes.

"Sure." As soon as she spoke, a grin too wide for his face sprouted and he danced back: "Listen up! Listen up!" He cheered. _Huuu, hoooo... heeee, huuu hooo... hee, huu hoOo huuu hoOo huuu uuuu hooo hu huuu..._ (This should be recognized as the song of time XD) "Did you like it?" Kari nodded, and patted the boy on the head. "My mom also likes when I play for her... But my brother says I'm just sucking up! I'm glad you like it too, lady!"

"You're very talented..." Kari smiled.

"Hey, lady, can you do me a favor?"

"Huh? What...?"

"I want you to play the song I'm about to play for me... Please?"

"I can't really play..." Kari began, but his sad eyes made her nod anyway.

"It goes like this..." His small hands wrapped around the silver ocarina and he gently pressed his lips over the mouthpiece. As soon as he finished, and handed her the ocarina, Kari was back in the forest beside the lifeless body. Confused, and unsure, she was on the verge of tears until the silver ocarina appeared before her. _**Play me this song... **_The words echoed.

"The Oath of Order," Kari absentmindedly spoke while she played. Never playing an ocarina in her life, she played perfectly, and something guided her to play the notes right when they were needed. Soon, she wasn't alone. A child's laughter echoed in the air as she lifted her head, only to see the four giants.

"Dear goddesses..." One of the giants whispered at the sight of Oni's lifeless body. One hand reached down, and scooped the corpse up.

"W-Wait!" Kari broke the strange trance on herself and rushed over to the hand, grabbing Oni's hand. "Please! You have to save him! Please don't take him...! Please don't take him away..." Her words barely reached them as she looked over Oni. The young boy's laughter echoed in the wind around him. The giants exchanged curious glances. Finally, one of them spoke:

"Would you give something of yours for him?"

"Yes! Even my own life...!" The giants exchanged glances once more.

"Is his life worth more than yours, you feel?"

"Absolutely!"

"Do you love him... Kari?" She didn't hesitate:

"Yes! More than this world itself!"

"We will require something of yours then."

"What? Anything!"

"Nothing much, child," The snow giant shook his head. "Even a lock of hair will do." Kari fell silent... and then picked out a pocket knife. Without hesitation once more, Kari cut her hair, to her shoulders. Gathering the chestnut locks from the wet grass, she held it up to the giants as an offering, tears in her eyes.

"Will this do?"

"Better than you know," They all smiled. Another bright light flashed, and the hair in her hands disappeared while magic from the giants began slipping off their body, floating down to Oni's body. Kari hugged herself, watching silently, having memories flow back to her.

_"I am the durncing king! Young and sweet! Only a thousand and three!"_

The laughter.

_"Anee one else touch me girl and they'll get the tiger!"_

The humorous times.

_"I love you, Kari._"

The love.

Kari wiped her eyes. _Please Oni... I won't leave you... if you don't leave me... __**KERACK! **_As another bolt of lightning fought the clouds in the sky, she grabbed at her chest. "Oni, you can't leave me!!!!" Suddenly, a small ball of light lifted from Oni's mouth, and strange warmth came from it. One giant, taking the light, lifted it above them all, then the others set Oni down and focused on their might on it. Bending the light, pushing and pulling, the light gave way to a mask, resembling Oni's face. Rushing over to Oni on the ground, Kari gasped in awe. His chest was rising and falling. His moonlight hair was now a soothing gold like summer sunlight. His eyelids opened to reveal oceanic onyxes that kept direction on her. His face, no longer painted with strange tribal designs, grew redder, and warmer. Suddenly, a hand touched her cheek.

"..." Oni gently stoked her cheek. "I'm... sorry... Kari. I'm sorry for...worrying you."

"Y-You...!" Tears grew harder, but she was smiling. "You big dummy!" Her weight crashed down on his as she hugged him as tight as she could, almost afraid to let go.

"I was afraid... you wouldn't like me as much like this," He sheepishly smiled.

"You dummy...!" She repeated. "Looks aren't everything...! What matters is... You'll always be you," She looked up at him, and didn't hesitate to kiss him. "And it's your true self that I love."

--

Author: Um... Ok, guys, you might find this sad. This is the last chapter... HOWEVER, I'm writing an epilogue right now to tie up loose ends and such... Although, I'm thinking of writing beyond the epilogue... About Oni and Kari's "family life." I need some votes... Sorry guys, but I can't write much more of this story... And I have to gundam wing fans starting to get anxious and... evil...? (gulp) I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and this story, and I hope many laughs were brought to you by this story. Thank you. Thank you for reading to the very end... And no bonus part for this chapter... I feel it would ruin the warm mood I made (XD)


	26. TS24: Epilouge

_Chirp, chirp_. Blue jays bounced on the windowsill of the small cottage. In a room, walls painted tan to match the double bed's blankets, light gently stared at the two figures in the bed. Finally, after thirty minutes of fighting the sunlight, the figures stirred and rolled to face each other. The man spoke first, softly:

"Did you sleep well, Kari?" He smiled, and rubbed a hand over hers.

"_Yawn... _Wha...?" She stretched while under the covers. "Oh, yeah... I kept hearing Gumbo howling at the midnight cats..."

"Cats, huh?" Oni grinned. "I like to think you're my little kitty," He growled as he rolled on top of her, making her laugh.

"Yeah, sure, and you being a dog means you're gonna howl, huh?"

"Oh, I definitely think I'd howl for you, heh heh..." He pressed his lips on hers, but they suddenly broke apart from a loud whistle:

"Momma and daddy, sittin' in a tree," A little boy, under the doorway, sang playfully. "F-U-C-K-I-N-G!" It took a moment, but then the two parents' jaws dropped.

"M-Majora! That is NOT the kind of language you use!!!!" Kari gawked while the little boy giggled.

"Majora," Oni had this one covered. "If you don't stop talking like that, sne hurry and take Gumbo for a walk, Mommy and Daddy are gonna start working on that little sister you _always_ wanted!" Oni threatened, and Majora didn't think twice before dashing out the house, dragging the hound named Gumbo behind him.

"Oh-ho, that was _mean_," Kari smiled. "No wonder he's the way he is... He got some of your chromosomes, how could I not know? ... Anyway, let me get up... I have work today, and you have to go help Hanz at the carpenter shop too, anyway!"

"Awwww," Oni whined. "I really _did_ wanna work on that little sister though." He grinned, and ran his fingers through her hair. They both smiled, kissed, and then he moved off of her. "Alright, alright... I'll take the little brat to school as well..." He scratched his head lazily as he got up and put on a brown tunic. Stretching once more, he walked to the room's doorway and stopped. Turning back, he smiled: "I love you Kari." This caught her attention, and patted the blanket:

"I love you too, Oni."

--

Author: Now THAT was a fitting ending, I think... Also, we're gonna discuss- in this bonus part- what happened to other characters.

Majora: ... You named their son... Majora. After me.

Author: Yeah. So?

Majora: That is so kind of you... (puts hand on forehead) Do you have a fever?

Author: Argh! Let's hurry up and get this over with!

Oni: Let's see... What ever happened to Kentos and Osa, author lady?

Kari: They got married and moved to the mountains... They have quite the annoying kids... (twitchy eye, had to babysit)

Majora: And Hanz?

Author: He married Erika, that one popular girl... Now he owns a carpentry shop.

Oni: No hard feelings... Right Hanz?

Hanz: ... _Sure, Oni_, _sure._

Author: As for Mr. Rock... He became a lawyer! And now he is trying to sue construction for using rocks in the stone age... Is there anyone else we didn't cover?

Majora: Who cares, they're not important...

Kari: Majora, considering we didn't discuss you, you just called yourself unimportant.

...

Majora: My mask was used years later to bring the moon down on clock town for mass destruction by skull kid. God, didn't you ever play Majora's Mask?

Kari/Oni: Nope.

Author: I did! (grins) Oh... As for Oni's tights-

Oni: Leggings!

Author: They... did tight stuff... Seriously, you should donate them to a ballet place!

Oni: ... You're all so cruel... Except Kari! Kari's awesome! (glomps Kari)

Kari: ... (tasers) I'm going to get pizza. Anyone else?

Majora: Count me in.

Author: Me too! You're paying!

(Author/Kari/Majora leave)

Oni: Why does this always happen to me... You love me, son, right? (Grabs Majora- the son version)

Majora, kid: ... I want pizza! (runs after)


	27. BONUS CHAPTER: CHRISTMAS

Author Notes: Ok, the series is done... right? Well... Being Christmas... I suddenly got this huge idea and couldn't bear to not write it out! So... Hehe, please enjoy!

--

Cold. A chilling winter storm had somehow found itself settled over Clock Town. Yet, even in such freezing degrees where thermometers could not truly tell the temperature, in every single house of Clock Town, some small warmth was ablaze in the hearts of many families. Though the storm's strong winds nipped at the walls of every structure, some invisible glue was keeping everything together and perfect... such was...

"CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!" A young boy thundered down the stairs loudly as he nearly hugged the green fir tree that stood tall in the center of the living room. "PRESENTS!!!!!!" Every squeak that came from him fought off the harsh winds that were blowing even in the morning hours of that special day. "COOOOOKIIIEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!" His exclamations made the next two coming down the stairs laugh.

"Majora, Majora, Majora, you're gonna burst in excitement, aren't cha?" A man with blonde hair rubbed his eyes; he barely got sleep from the long storm's fight. "It's alright, everything will be opened eventually... OMG IS THAT BIG ONE FOR ME!?!" Like a child, the man jumped over the staircase side to tackle a fairly large wrapped box. "Swweeeeet!"

"And you wonder where he gets it..." A woman smiled, holding onto her stomach as she carefully navigated down the stairway. "Yes, honey, the big one is for you."

"I love you wifey," He raced back up the stairs and helped her on her way down, kissing her on the cheek. "And this little dude, or dudette, either way." His hand rested on her stomach for a moment. "Two already, I'm on a roll, eh!?"

"Yeah, yeah," She smiled before resting her head on his shoulder as they finally reached the bottom. "Could you...?"

"Yes hun?" He sat down in the armchair first, and before she could walk away, he pulled her onto his lap. "Ok, who's going first? The little squirt?"

"Yeah, you first Majora, one present at a time, ok?" She tousled the boy's hair before continuing: "Oni, I left one of Majora's presents in the stable... After we open everything, could you go fetch it?"

"...?" Oni cocked his head, but then grinned. "Haha, yeah, yeah, I can't wait to see his face when he gets that o-"

"OH WOW!!!" Majora exploded into a victory dance of some sort. "My very own wooden sword and shield!!! Thanks Dad!!!!"

"Top that, hun," Oni grinned, "I got a dance outta that one." Kari smirked and waved it off: "I'll get a run around the house, just wait."

"...?" Oni reached for the big one, but when Kari gave him 'the look' he settled for a smaller one nearby. Slowly tearing it open, he gasped softly and pulled out a silver chain connected to a diamond shaped locket. "What's th-" Taking it from him, Kari popped it open and the locket revealed two pictures: Two young boys, one with silver hair and the other had jet black. "How did you..."

"You never know what you can find in the records section of the library!" Kari pat him on the head, gently.

"... Ka-wa-ii! You only make me love you more and more!" Oni kissed her neck and hugged her tightly from behind. "Eventually I'll love you so much it'll hurt! Thank you Kari."

"EWWW!" Majora complained while fidgeting as his hands were clasped onto his next present. "Hurry and open one mom!!! This is from me!" Nearly throwing a present her way, Kari laughed. "I made this at the carpenter's... Hanz is teaching me!" This, interesting them both, made Oni watch carefully as Kari opened the box. Inside, carved from brown wood of an oak tree, was a figure of some sort. "It's you! It took awhile..." He then frowned. "Do you like it?"

"It's amazing, Majora!" Kari beamed as she kissed the little boy's forehead. "You're going to be such a great carpenter one day... Surpass your dad, ok?"

"Eas-" _PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!_

"Oh!" Kari nearly flew from the seat. "I forgot I put a teapot on the stove earlier! Ack!"

"Ah, I got it!" Both jumped up however, and they dashed towards the door. Suddenly, Kari was stopped in her tracks as Oni caught her hand.

"O-Oni! T-The teapot...!" Pointing up, Oni smiled and Kari's mouth opened as a mistletoe came into view. _PIIIIII _"A-Ah! The teapot, Oni!"

"Not until we kiss, strict tradition Kari!" Oni grinned and Kari blurted:

"W-We'll get sick! Mistletoes are poisonous, remember? AH! Oni! Teapot!"

"Oh well!" Oni shook his head before advancing himself forward. "We'll just get sick together!" And he kissed her.

With the teapot's hiss, the storm's howling gusts of wind, and the 'ewwww' sound effects of a little boy named Majora, you think the two would have stopped quickly, but they didn't. With the kiss, everything seemed to come back and only made them realize how much they loved each other. With one kiss, it became the best Christmas ever.

--

Author Notes: (cries from the beautiful moment)

Majora: Argh! I thought we finished this dmn story already! How dare you call me from my dark lair!?! I wasn't even in this part!!!

Author: (ignores, and keeps crying)

Majora: ... I hate you all.


End file.
